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SCRIBBLINGS AND SKETCHES, 


DIPLOMATIC, PISCATORY, AND OCEANIC. 


A FISHER IN SMALL STREAMS. 


SECOND EDITION, WITH ADDITIONS. 

WstniOUgh, £ Ca/VvvVOcJ 


PHILADELPHIA: 

C. SHERMAN, PRINTER, 


19 ST. JAMES STREET. 



T$3i5 r i: 

.Vtas4“S3 


Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1844, 

BY C. SHERMAN, 

in the Clerk’s Office of the District Court for the Eastern District of 
Pennsylvania. 





4 




HIS MOST CELESTIAL MAJESTY KIANG-FOO, 


EMPEROR OF CHINA, 

AND BROTHER TO THE SUN AND MOON. 

Deeply sensible of the favours it has pleased your 
Celestial Majesty at divers and sundry times to bestow, 
and grateful for the distinguished facilities afforded me 
in the early publication of some of your mighty procla¬ 
mations—with all respect, I dedicate the following pages 
to your Imperial Majesty. 

I do so, with a belief, that your Serenity will not only 
be amused by them at your autumnal palace of Yuen- 
min-Yuen, upon the banks of the sparkling Taie-ho; 
but that they will give your Majesty some insight into 
the mysteries of barbaric diplomacy, which, it has 
pleased your Majesty privately to inform me, owing to 
some late incidents, you were anxious to comprehend. 

Amongst so many sovereigns, to be selected by your 

» 

Imperial Majesty as worthy of your confidence, I esteem 
a most signal mark of favour; and with no disposition 
to overrate my literary effusions, yet I feel confident 
your Majesty will derive quite as much instruction, if 
not more, than any other reader from my little volume. 


iv 


DEDICATION. 


If it should please vour Celestial Highness to be fond 
of fishing, the letters of Isaac Walton, Jr., are most 
particularly recommended to your notice. They pre¬ 
tend to no literary merit, but are the effusions of a 
plain man, in character with his life and the primitive 
simplicity of his peaceful sport. 

The immortal Confucius has declared, that 

Hong-hse chulan-tee to war ti bung, 

Con owhar spung ti nittle colee tung. 


“ Patience and perseverance are cardinal virtues, and 
without which, man cannot hope for success in life.” 
Isaac affords some striking and practical illustrations 
of the truth of the precept, which may be useful to your 
sedentary subjects, and perhaps salutary in their effects 
upon those of a more roving and unquiet disposition. 

Seldom aspiring beyond a glorious nibble, his perse¬ 
verance has been rewarded in having caught the atten¬ 
tion of an emperor. 

“ To catch a Tartar,” has not heretofore been 
esteemed a desirable event or one to boast of; but we 
apprehend the world will concede the present instance 
to be a brilliant exception. 

The immeasurable distance between your Majesty’s 
golden throne, and the “ Fisher in Small Streams,” 
affords him but a telescopic view of your magnificence, 
warmed, however, and cherished by those mitigated 


DEDICATION. 


V 


beams into an ephemeral and fluttering existence with¬ 
out the danger of being singed by the intolerable efful¬ 
gence. It is, therefore, a subject more for congratula¬ 
tion than regret; though prevented the honour of per¬ 
sonally bumping his head at your Imperial footstool 
according to the ceremony of the Ko-leou. A ceremony 
founded upon principles of the profoundest wisdom, and 
which should be strictly enforced upon every candi¬ 
date for literary favour, more especially in my country, 
where the brain is supposed to be the seat of intelligence, 
and the capability of the author might quickly be ascer¬ 
tained by the peculiar sound of his skull when perform¬ 
ing these prostrations. The Chinese theory, however, 
that the stomach is the seat of the soul, is plausible, more 
especially as most of our distinguished literary men 
have no stomachs to brag of, wasted perhaps by their 
untiring exertions. With the passing remark, that 
amongst Barbarians there is a sort of abstract Kiang- 
Foo, called public opinion, at which authors great and 
small must all bow, and before which the subscriber 
prostrates himself with great humility for want of a 
better, he remains with high consideration and respect, 
your Majesty’s friend, co-sovereign and servant. 

A Fisher in Small Streams. 

















































PREFACE. 


It will be perceived that I have dedicated this little 
work to the Emperor of China,—and in selecting that 
distinguished individual, I have been impelled by many 
wise and discreet considerations. Some may possibly 
deem the selection an ostentatious one, a wish upon my 
part to publish to the world my intimacy and friendship 
with that august personage. But I most unequivocally 
deny any such motives. The Emperor has been in¬ 
formed that we are a community of sovereigns, that 
a private station is the post of honour, and that we 
hire individuals to perform subordinate stations, such as 
Presidents, Secretaries, and the like, with the privilege 
of abusing them. He therefore, has been pleased to 
consider me upon an equality with him in every respect r 
having first assured him, not only that I held no office, 
but had no expectation of receiving one. It has also, 
I am sorry to say, been intimated that I am actuated by 
mercenary motives, with an eye to a cumshaw ©repre¬ 
sent from the Emperor, for the honour done him. The 
cumshaw system is not a bad one, but I disclaim any 


Vlll 


PREFACE. 


such intentions. Though if the Emperor were to send 
me a very handsome present, in the shape of tea, silks, 
or even crockery, I frankly confess I should feel myself 
bound to accept it. But literary men so seldom receive 
any thing but hard rubs, that I am afraid these declara¬ 
tions are very idle and superfluous. Indeed, gentle 
reader, I am perfectly content to receive no other re¬ 
ward for my humble labours, than your attention, and 
your good-will. 


The Author. 


SKETCHES. 


A FORTUNE FOUNDED ON A HURRICANE. 

“ To ride the cloud-aspiring waves, 

And hear amid the rending tackle’s roar 
The spirit of an equinoctial gale.” 

Tobin. 

“ The dreadful spout 
Which shipmen do the Hurricano call, 

Constring’d in mass by th’ almighty sun, 

Dizzies with clamour Neptune’s watery ear.” 

Shakspeare. 

The town of Trinidad, upon the south side of the 
island of Cuba, presents a very picturesque appearance 
from the sea. The dark blue mountains of St. Juan, 
rising to the height of three thousand feet, form the back¬ 
ground of the picture, throwing the town into fine relief 
with its white walls and turrets. At a distance, it 
appears like a white blur upon the mountain-side. In 
any other region than the tropics it might, at first glance, 
be mistaken for a drift of snow, or a cloud resting upon 
the dark mountain’s side, but the one is as impossible as 
the other, for, during the dry season, from October till 
April, not even a wreath of mist floats in the pure ether 
by day, or dims the brilliancy of the spangled blue of 
night. Gradually from this white obscure are shadowed 

2 



10 


A FORTUNE FOUNDED ON A HURRICANE. 


forth, in faint outlines, turrets and cupolas, at every 
step becoming more distinct, till at last the miniature 
houses with little dots for windows, stand forth brightly 
in the glare of a mid-day sun. 

The ground between the sea shore and the town is 
barren and sandy, covered with brushwood, with here 
and there a clump of palms and the umbrageous mango, 
broken into lagoons, or pools of salt water, near the 
shore, which at a distance have a pleasing effect, but 
upon inspection, the delusion quickly vanishes. These 
pretty lakes are in reality nothing but salt bogs, tenanted 
by the land crab; the shores furrowed by the sand grub; 
and haunted by myriads of musquitoes. 

The harbour, with its little port of Casilda, is formed 
by a thin strip of land, about two miles in length and 
densely covered with mangrove bushes. At the extre¬ 
mity of the point, or entrance to the harbour, is erected 
a small fort, which is apt to be submerged during a 
hurricane, and is never garrisoned by more than half a 
dozen soldiers. Between this fort and Cayo Blanco, a 
small island, is a narrow and intricate passage, through 
which can pass vessels only of a light draught. 

With this bird’s eye view of the town and harbour, we 
will proceed with our narrative. 

In the latter part of the month of September of the 
year 180-, some forty or fifty of the merchants and 
planters of Trinidad were collected together at the head 
of Calle de Gutierez, discussing the various topics of the 
day, in which the probable rise and fall of the prices of 
sugar and molasses were decidedly the most interesting. 
Amongst this group, were the keen-looking Catalonian, 
the blunt Biscayan, and vivacious Andalusian—emi¬ 
grants from the mother country, in the pursuit of wealth. 


A FORTUNE FOUNDED ON A HURRICANE. 


II 


The joke was bandied about in that boisterous vein so 
peculiar to the Spaniard, interrupted occasionally by the 
presence of a passing signorita with flowing mantilla, 
when compliments would fall freely from the lips of all. 
Far from being offended, the lady appeared to consider 
it a just tribute to her personal charms—and reply 
with great gravity, muchisimas gracias, Caballeros —and 
pass on, with the grace and dignity of a queen. A 
Montero, upon a high-mettled pacer, darted up to the 
door, and saluted the group with that natural air of polite 
respect from which a true Spaniard never departs. 

“ Senores , Caballeros ; dios guard ustedes.” “ Gentle¬ 
men, God be with you—what do you think of the 
weather V 1 

“ It looks bad enough,” replied one; “we shall have 
it tough and strong—the mountain passes are dark as 
night, with heavy clouds.” 

“ Yes,” said another, “ and the sea moans, and 
heaves upon Cayo Blanco in a way that forebodes a 
hurricane.” 

The sea did present a strange and unnatural appear¬ 
ance, covered—almost obscured—by masses of vapour 
rolling over the surface. The atmosphere was so per¬ 
fectly calm that the flame of a candle burnt as steadily 
in the open air as if enclosed within a crystal vase. All 
were now busy speculating upon the indications of the 
heavens with the exception of one; to whom calms and 
storms apparently were alike indifferent. 

Seated upon the counter, with abstracted air and 
folded arms, kicking his heels against the boards: there 
was an air of recklessness about the youth that plainly 
told his fortune to be desperate, and that he was at that 


12 


A FORTUNE FOUNDED ON A HURRICANE. 


very moment turning over in his mind the probable 
chances of success for a dinner, already having failed in 
procuring a breakfast. The light blue eye, fair hair, and 
ruddy complexion disclosed at a glance his Anglo-Saxon 
blood; and as he gazed at the dark-eyed sun-burnt fea¬ 
tures that surrounded him, there was an expression which 
seemed to say—“ Let it blow the whole island over to 
Africa for aught I care: 1 have neither kith nor kin 
here, and am as penniless as a Spanish beggar.” Some¬ 
thing out of the common order of events appeared to 
animate the group; some were collected together apart, 
in earnest conversation; others were mounting horses 
and scampering off to the Casilda, whilst a party upon 
the house-top were gazing through spy-glasses at the 
sea. The youth, before described, inquired of an indi¬ 
vidual who had just come down, and who closed his 
glass with a snap that shattered the instrument, exclaim¬ 
ing at the same time, “ Caraho, she’s gone!”— 

“What is the matter, Senor? there seems to be a 
screw out of place somewhere: what is it V 9 

“Why, Senor Americano, mio, there is a barque 
outside there, in which we are all interested—a good 
half million of freight,—that is likely to be swamped by 
this infernal hurricane, or nabbed by John Bull, that’s 
all.” 

The youth spoken to, mounted the steps and was 
quickly upon the parapet. Almost all the houses of 
Trinidad are constructed with flat roofs, with a parapet 
about three feet high, for the purpose of catching rain 
water during the wet season. 

Upon reaching the parapet, he was astonished at the 
sudden change from a breathless calm to a furious gale 


A FORTUNE FOUNDED ON A HURRICANE. 


13 


with every premonition of one of those terrible hurri¬ 
canes that sometimes, in a single hour, lay waste whole 
districts. The inhabitants were hurrying to shelter in 
the greatest trepidation, closing their shops and barri¬ 
cading their doors and windows—the streets were 
already strewed with fragments of roofs and broken 
tiles torn from their fastenings by the first fury of the 
blast. The vultures, those licensed scavengers of every 
West India town, at all hours of the day, skimming over 
the tops of houses, or soaring to a great height in gigantic 
circles, were now crouching beneath the parapets, and 
the atmosphere was filled with flocks of screaming sea 
gulls, driven from their habitations upon the coasts and 
numerous islands, by the irresistible fury of the wind. 

A drift, like smoke, rolled over the ocean and spread 
across the land to the foot of the mountain. At intervals, 
the surface of the sea, to the utmost limits of the wide 
extended horizon, was distinctly visible, lashed into a 
foam, and whirled aloft in wreaths of spray from the 
tops of the curling waves. 

Two vessels were distinctly seen, scudding before the 
wind under close-reefed topsails. Onward they both 
came with the speed of race-horses, the one further sea¬ 
ward, from the cut of her canvass and squareness of 
yards, evidently a man-of-war, in full chase. As she 
rose upon a swell, her long dark hull and line of ports 
were visible; from the bow at the same moment issued 
a volume of smoke, which as suddenly was swept away 
by the wind, and mingled with the floating spray and 
haze, and ere the sound of the cannon had reached the 
shores, (in low, suppressed murmurs,) the Spanish barque 
had rounded Cayo Blanco, dropped her anchors, and 


14 A FORTUNE FOUNDED ON A HURRICANE. 

swung round to the wind. The man-of-war came 
dashing in after, under bare poles, her close-reefed 
foresail but a few moments before having been blown 
clean out of the bolt-ropes, and whirled off to leeward, 
twisting and twirling .about until it was lost in the haze 
that covered every thing with an impenetrable veil; but 
ere the two vessels were closed from view, it was 
evident that the man-of-war had passed close under the 
stern of the slaver, and was riding upon the swell with 
four anchors ahead. 

The gale now had increased almost to a hurricane. 
It was with difficulty the youth could maintain his posi¬ 
tion upon the parapet; he therefore went down to the 
store and mingled with the anxious group collected there. 

It was conceded by all, that the Esperanto, for such 
was the name of the slaver, was a gone case. If she rode 
out the gale, which was very improbable, the Stag, a 
well-known British cruiser, would certainly capture her; 
and if the hurricane increased, as there was every like¬ 
lihood, both vessels must be wrecked, with the chance 
of all hands perishing. 

One said, he would sell his interest for fifty ounces ;* 
another, for five hundred: all appearing to think the 
chances so perfectly desperate, as scarcely worth an 
hour’s purchase. The hero of our story listened to every 
thing with the deepest interest; at last he stepped boldly up 
to one of the gentlemen and said : 

“ Come, sir, what did you say you would take for 
your .interest in that ship V 9 

“ I’ll take five hundred ounces, and that’s selling what, 


* An ounce, or gold doubloon, about sixteen dollars. 


A FORTUNE FOUNDED ON A HURRICANE. 


15 


if all had gone right, would fetch at the Baracoon this 
day, fifty thousand dollars.” 

“ Yes,” replied the stranger, “ but she will never come 
ashore except in pieces. Look at that!—there goes the 
roof off of Don Vincente’s house, as clean as a whistle. 
The hurricane is up—it will tear that ship to pieces in 
less than an hour. I’ll give you one hundred ounces for 
your share, and take my chance.” 

“ Paga! it’s a bargain !” cried the Spaniard. “ John 
Bull has got her, I believe, already. La Esperanza must 
have drifted down upon him ere this.” 

Seven or eight shares were purchased upon the spot, 
and a bargain made with the others,—who appeared to 
view our friend in no other light than a madman,—that if 
he saved the ship and cargo, he was to receive twenty- 
five per cent, upon the gross amount. 

No sooner was the negotiation concluded, and the 
writings, which were hastily drawn, safely deposited in his 
pocket, than he bounded forth into the storm, with a cry 
of “ A dios senores!” and was lost in the gloom which 
shrouded every thing without. 

Onward he dashed, reckless of the thousand dangers 
that threatened to annihilate him at every step, from 
showers of tiles and broken parapets hurled at his feet by 
the wind, which, though not yet at its height, was howl¬ 
ing above his head with great fury, occasionally licking 
up the dust and pebbles in whirling eddies, and then 
spattering it into his face with such force, as not only to 
blind, but for a time to cause him to reel and stagger. 

A brave man might well have cowered beneath that 
blast—but our youth, with a spirit of the highest order, 
and a consciousness of his own merits, had felt, deeply 


16 


A FORTUNE FOUNDED ON A HURRICANE. 


felt, the pangs of a crushing poverty. Here was a 
chance—a terrible one, to be sure; if he failed, it would 
be death in the excitement of battle; if he succeeded, 
a double reward awaited him,—a magnificent fortune, 
and the preservation of the lives of a thousand helpless 
beings. 

Upon emerging from the town, the road lay before 
him in almost a straight line, for three miles, to the little 
village of Casilda. From this point, on a clear day, 
the eye can embrace a view of two hundred miles of sea, 
from north to south; but now, the road upon which he 
was ploughing his way, was scarcely discernible twenty 
yards ahead. Onward he laboured, occasionally, when 
the blast with uncommon fury swept across his path, 
seeking a temporary shelter beneath the hedges formed 
by the prickly pear and wild pine apple—beneath whose 
interwoven branches clattered thousands of land-crabs, 
on their way to the sea from the mountains. An army 
of these creatures crossed his path; regardless of the 
countless uplifted hands from this strange multitude, he 
crashed through the array, kicking from his feet some 
half dozen, that had fastened upon his legs with their long 
pincering claws. 

The sea was swollen far beyond its natural bounda¬ 
ries. The streets of the village were overflowed, and 
where, but a few hours before, the gay volante had 
whirled up the dust upon a sandy road, now were 
covered with boats adrift, floating logs, casks and mer¬ 
chandise of every description. 

Every minute marked a sensible increase of the power 
of the wind; occasionally, vast bodies of water were 


A FORTUNE FOUNDED ON A HURRICANE. 


17 


scooped up by the mighty hand of the tempest and 
crushed into vapour, or fell far from where they had been 
torn, in showers of brine. The foam of the sea floated 
over head like flakes of snow. The incessant roll of 
tropical thunder, heaven’s heaviest artillery, reverbe¬ 
rated from the mountain’s base, and was mingled with 
the roar of the wind and surf, which pealed upon the 
shores of the neighbouring islands, occasionally flashing 
up through the thick haze, pyramids of foam and spray. 

After wading and floundering through ponds of water, 
under the lee of a large store, he encountered a fisher¬ 
man by the name of Antonio, a hardy fellow, one of the 
best pilots of the port. To him he immediately made 
known his intention, and offered him a thousand dollars 
if he would accompany him with his boat on board the 
slaver. 

“Why, Senor,” said Antonio, “you must be mad. We 
should be swamped, for a dead certainty ; and what good 
could we do, suppose we reached her V 9 

“I’ll make your fortune!” was the prompt reply. 
“ Does she still hold on ?” 

“ Si, Senor.” 

“ And how’s the cruiser ?” 

“ Oh, tight enough—with four anchors out—two chain 
cables. She’ll founder at her anchors, if this gale in¬ 
creases.” 

“ We can paddle under the lee of the mangrove bushes 
of the strip of land over the other side of the harbour, 
till we come to the fort, then before the wind, you pull¬ 
ing, I bailing, in three minutes we can fetch the slaver; 
once on board I’ll show you we can save her.” 

Still Antonio doubted, wavered ; all the eloquence of 


18 


A FORTUNE FOUNDED ON A HURRICANE. 


argument, and stout assurances, with scorn of danger, 
appeared not in the least to stagger his determination to 
decline the perilous adventure. 

“ Lend me your boat, then. By Heaven ! I’ll go alone ; 
and when I meet you to-morrow, with five thousand 
Spanish doubloons in my chest, you’ll curse yourself for 
not having had the courage to follow.” 

“ Stop one moment. How much say you V* 

At that instant a crash of thunder made the earth 
tremble beneath their feet, accompanied by a flash that 
pierced through the gloom, illuminating every object 
with a lurid glare, the foam flakes sailing through the 
air like myriads of floating brands of fire; at the same 
instant a transient glance was caught of the two vessels, 
reeling and plunging at their anchors. 

“ Two thousand doubloons 1” cried the indomitable 
stranger, in a voice clear as a trumpet, every word dis¬ 
tinctly heard by Antonio, above the roar of the elements. 

“ Agreed—come on !” and they jumped into the boat, 
Antonio exclaiming at the same time, “ Another such 
a clap of thunder as that, and good-bye hurricane.”* 
After great difficulty, and the escape from many 
dreadful blasts, they succeeded in reaching the opposite 
shore; but the sea made a clear breach across the strip 
of land, and though broken by the mangrove bushes, yet 
the surge rolled over into the harbour with terrible force. 
The boat was light, and pulled by vigorous and skilful 
hands ; in a short time they reached the deserted fort, 
under the lee of which they rested for a few moments, 
and braced their nerves for the great struggle, when they 

* The invariable indication of a clearing off. 


A FORTUNE FOUNDED ON A HURRICANE. 


19 


should be exposed to the full fury of the wind and waves, 
the frail bark being as yet protected by the land under 
which they had for an hour laboured their perilous pas¬ 
sage. Antonio ejaculated a short prayer, crossed him¬ 
self very devoutly some half dozen times, then seizing 
the oars, cried out— 

“Here goes. We can’t miss her. She lies dead to 
leeward of that reef.” 

The boat shot forth from her cover, and was imme¬ 
diately whirled round by the wind, one of the oars 
escaping from his hand; it was caught in a minute by 
his companion, ere the rower had time to utter the cry 
of terror the accident occasioned. 

The sea was like a turbulent field of snow; the spray 
flew past them with terrible velocity—a single wave, ere 
it could lift its head on high, was cut off into foam, and 
mist and smoke; with the speed of an arrow shot from 
a bow, did they skim and gurr through the water. When 
the American cried out, “ Starboard oar—hard a star¬ 
board,” it was promptly obeyed, and the bark swirled 
round the stern of the slaver, and as she touched her dark 
hull, the adventurers seized the mizen chains', and in 
less time than we have taken to describe it, were safely 
upon the deck : the boat being swamped beneath the gun¬ 
wales of the ship as she rolled to leeward. 

The storm was now at its height—the captain was 
upon his knees crossing himself, and crying out to that 
God for mercy, whose divine precepts he had forgotten, 
when he entered into the dreadful traffic of his fellow- 
men. 

At every plunge of the vessel, the water poured over 
her bows and deluged the decks. From the bosom of 


20 


A FORTUNE FOUNDED ON A HURRICANE. 


the labouring craft issued a yell of mingled agony and 
terror, from eight hundred souls confined below, which 
mingled with the blast, and must have been heard far 
inland by the distant Aldeano * who might fancy that a 
thousand fiends were shrieking in the elemental strife 
above. 

“ Where’s your axe?—give it me ! Antonio take ano¬ 
ther. Where is the cruiser ? I see her—we can clear 
her. Hard a port your helm. All hands run up the 
fore-topmast stay-sail—cut!” rapidly uttered the daunt¬ 
less youth. 

The cables were severed at a blow, the sail burst from 
the bolt-ropes, the ship rose upon a roller crested with 
foam, careened round before the blast, and under the 
impulse of the hurricane, dashed madly towards the 
shore, passing the cruiser like a phantom, and disappear¬ 
ing amidst the haze and drift and surf;—in a moment 
after she struck. A tremendous roller lifted her again 
from the ground, and after several successive shocks, she 
plunged into comparatively smooth water. 

The next morning the Esperanza lay high and dry a 
half mile from the shore, and landed her cargo in safety. 
And before night the bold and penniless adventurer was 
in possession of one hundred thousand dollars—his well- 
earned share of a cargo, valued at that time, at nearly 
four hundred thousand dollars; whilst the British cruiser 
was content to weigh anchor and renew his honourable 
efforts against a trade now almost universally denounced 
the worst of piracy. 

The hero of our sketch has since acquired great 


Cottager. 


A FORTUNE FOUNDED ON A HURRICANE. 


21 


wealth, and possesses an income of some two hundred 
thousand dollars per annum, and is a Grandee of Spain, 
with several titles of distinction. 

It is nearly forty years since this incident occurred. 
He still enjoys excellent health, and in the conduct of 
his affairs is distinguished for that energy which marked 
his first career—as well as for every other quality that 
can adorn the character of a gentleman. 

So much for making the best of a chance; the first 
instance, we suppose, of doubloons being coined out of a 
hurricane. 


A BURIAL BY THE SEA-SIDE. 


Oh ! place him on the shore—that grave will be 
Fit resting-place for him who loved the sea; 

And let the surges make their ceaseless moan, 

Where lies the stranger, tombless and alone.” 

Anon. 

The shades of night were thickening round the foot 
of the mountain, whilst the hill-tops were yet gilded by 
the last rays of the setting sun, whose broad disk was 
slowly sinking into the bosom of the Caribbean sea. 

The twinkling stars of a tropical twilight already 
gemmed the firmament. 

Like a jewelled coronet, the departing luminary for a 
moment glowed upon the dark waters of the horizon, 
and then disappeared beneath the wave. As yet, his 
beams, unquenched, streamed forth from that bright 
pavilion to the zenith, and spread a golden mantle over 
the quiet landscape. The purple mountain and the dis¬ 
tant cape were seen through a beautiful thin mist of 
powdered gold. That breeze which had waved all day 
the branches of the cocoa, and graceful palm, and ruffled 
the sea into innumerable white caps, had died away. 
Not a leaf rustled upon the mountain’s side, or stirred 
the long rank grass of the savanna. The bay was like 
a polished mirror, distinctly reflecting the inverted images 
of the numerous craft that reposed upon its glassy sur- 


A BURIAL BY THE SEA-SIDE. 


23 


face, occasionally rimpled into feathery streaks by the 
breath of a loitering zephyr, unwilling to abandon the 
shores now redolent of the perfume of flowers and a 
luxuriant vegetation. 

In the shadowy places, the Cuculla* was trimming his 
evening lamp, and sparkled upon the bushes or streamed 
through the air his phosphorescent light. So profound 
was the calm, that from a distance through the dewy 
air, peopled with myriads of humming insects, pierced 
the silvery tones of the evening trumpet of the cavalry 
guard, and was heard the tinkling bells of a cavalcade 
of mules descending the mountain pass, mingled with 
the solemn, melancholy and wild chorus of the African 
at the Baracoon.f 

It is difficult to analyse the feelings inspired by such 
a scene. The prevailing sentiment is sadness, mingled 
with admiration of the works of Him “who spreadeth 
out the heavens, and treadeth upon the waves of the sea,” 
and wonder and delight at the various and sublime trans¬ 
formations of lights and shadows. These feelings are ex¬ 
perienced in every clime, whether the orb be dimmed in his 
parting glory by northern mists, or “ sinking in one un¬ 
clouded blaze of living light” into the golden mirror of a 
tropical sea. 


* Cuculla—The light emitted by this curious beetle is so strong, that 
by the united glare of two or three you can read quite a small print. In 
the dark nights, a bush or tree covered with them, appears to be illu¬ 
minated with innumerable small tapers. The Spanish ladies adorn their 
hair, and make bracelets and zones of them, which have a beautiful and 
striking effect. 

+ Baracoon—The place where the slaves are deposited soon after their 
arrival. At sunset they join in a wild monotonous song, keeping time 
by clapping the hands together. In the stillness of the evening, this 
melancholy chant can be heard at a great distance. 


24 


A BURIAL BY THE SEA-SIDE. 


And now every sound had ceased; a deathlike silence 
prevailed, interrupted at intervals by the distant baying 
of the Spanish watch-dog, # and the first breath of the 
terra!,] which sighed through the quivering reeds and 
trembling leaves of the palmetto. Suddenly the silence 
was broken by the tones of a clear voice, saying— 

“ Man that is born of woman has but a short time to 
live, and is full of misery. He cometh up and is cut 

down like a flower. He fleeth, as it were, a. shadow- 

In the midst of life we are in death”- 

When a gust from the mountain swept over the plain. 
The gigantic palm bowed his head to the mournful night- 
breeze, which passed away upon its invisible path to the 
sea. And again all was still and silent, and the same 
clear voice continued—“ Ashes to ashes—dust to dust— 
looking for the general resurrection in the last day, when 
the earth and sea shall give up their dead.”— 

It was the Episcopal burial service. Every word 
tolled upon the air with startling precision. It was like 
the voice of a monitory spirit. The profound silence— 

* The Spanish watch-dog—Now the noisiest animal in creation ; but 
originally remarkable for a rare canine virtue, silence. This peculiarity 
of the aboriginal dogs of Cuba, is mentioned more than once by Colum¬ 
bus, in his Journal, and by the Pilot Oviedo—“ hay muchos perros en 
estos payses que nunca ladran ”—there are many dogs in this country 
that never bark. In a subsequent passage of the same rare and costly 
work, published at Havanna in 1835, it is said, “ that a European dog 
was left upon the island. Upon the return of Bartholomew Columbus 
from the Southern Continent, they were not a little astonished to find 
that the distinguished stranger had taught the native Cuban dogs to 
bark most furiously.” We leave the naturalists to draw the proper in¬ 
ferences from this curious fact. We can only say, that it is a great pity 
the aboriginal stock had not been preserved untainted by the vices of the 
European. 

t The terral,—or land-breeze—which sets in after sunset. 



A BURIAL BY THE SEA-SIDE. 


25 


the hour—the scene—all conspired to make it solemn 
and impressive. 

Upon the sea shore, within fifty yards of the surf that 
rippled upon the beach in low murmurs, like a dirge for 
the departed, a group of foreigners were collected round 
a rude grave scooped into the sand. The American flag, 
which had served as a pall, lay at the feet of the consul. 
At a given signal, the grave was carefully filled. For 
one moment the little crow T d remained silent and un¬ 
covered, and then slowly left the remains of their late 
companion to repose in his humble grave, within sight 
and sound of that element he loved in life. 

Under any circumstances, the solemn simplicity of 
that service is impressive. But there, upon that foreign 
Catholic shore,* where the “ churlish priest” denied to 
the Protestant Christian the poor privilege of being 
buried in consecrated ground—where bigotry, prejudice 
and ignorance are as intolerable as the heat of the mid- 
day sun,,without its light—the incident was strange and 
impressive beyond description. 

Of all that attended the humble obsequies of the poor 
American sailor, not one will ever forget that twilight 
funeral by the sea-side. 


* Catholic shore—There is no intention here to cast an aspersion upon 
the Roman Catholic religion. Bigotry and prejudice are not the exclusive 
properties of a Catholic shore. But local, and to censure the “ churlish 
priest” who, in this instance, was as intolerant as ignorant. The Spanish 
priest of Cuba is a different being from the enlightened Roman Catholic 
of the Free States. 


3 


THE FIRST AND LAST SPEECH OF A TYRO. 


My parents were respectable hard-working people— 
myself their only son. In an evil hour my poor father 
became convinced that his son Hiram Hock was born 
to be a great man. After mature deliberation and many 
misgivings, and doubtful shakes of the head by my kind 
and affectionate mother, it was finally decided that I 
should study the law. At the age of seventeen, there¬ 
fore, I commenced curving my spine upon a hard chair, 
with my heels upon the mantel-piece in winter, and the 
window-sill in summer, perusing at intervals the lyrical 
effusions of the gay and witty Coke, the facetious Fearne, 
the romantic Blackstone, and the irresistible and inex¬ 
haustible Chitty, that Beranger of the law. 

At the expiration of four years, with a stomach shri¬ 
velled up like parchment, weak eyes, and a confused 
notion of ten thousand conflicting principles associated 
with books bound in yellow calf-skin, I was presented 
by my preceptor with a diploma for starvation. 

That worthy individual in spectacles I shall never for¬ 
get : he was what is called “ a thorough-bred lawyer.” 
As a practitioner and special pleader, he was eminently 
renowned, and at the age of seventy-three, had acquired 
not only a subsistence, but some thought even a suffi¬ 
ciency in case of his demise, to prevent his widow from 
keeping a boarding-house. 


THE FIRST AND LAST SPEECH OF A TYRO. 27 

All his actions were squared by rules of law, and the 
principles of his science. In his intercourse with man¬ 
kind, he conceived the first duty to pay a fee; any de¬ 
reliction from this important ceremony was a crime 
equivalent to high treason. 

Several rules had been served upon him at different 
times, and notices to quit this transitory life, in the shape 
of blindness, deafness and temporary paralysis; but he 
still remained firm at his vocation, and not in the slight¬ 
est degree intimidated by the severity of the attacks. 
By means of an antiquated process familiar to himself, 
but utterly unknown to the medical faculty,termed “the 
suffering a common recovery,”—he was again absorbed 
in the studies of his captivating science, never inter¬ 
mitted except to receive the “ honorarium,” all other lite¬ 
rature in his estimation being not worth the snap of a fi.fa. 

For nearly half a century this worthy gentleman had 
been seated upon an arm-chair adorned with a leathern 
cushion, of which there was a faint tradition, that it once 
had been stuffed with hair, but now as flat as a pancake, 
and as totally destitute of that excrescence as the shining 
bald pate of the distinguished sedentary. Empires had 
been overthrown by terrible revolutions; moral and po¬ 
litical changes had occurred unnoticed by this excellent 
man. An occasional innovati >n upon the revered com¬ 
mon law, would sensibly affect, his usual equanimity, and 
it is reported that it was several days before he could 
recover from the shock occasioned by the passage of a 
law, permitting a writ of partition to be sued out by the 
remainder man in fee, before the death of the tenant for 
life.* 


• See Laws of Pennsylvania. 


28 


THE FIRST AND LAST SPEECH OF A TYRO. 


He was just in all his dealings and strictly pious in all 
his thoughts and actions. Conscious of a vested remain¬ 
der in the future, dependent upon a particular prior estate 
created at the same time, and by the same instrument, 
(Co. Lit. 49, a,) coupled with the comfortable assurance 
of an equity of redemption as first decided in the case of 
Pulk vs. Clinton , 12 Vez. 59, his mind was perfectly 
prepared and tranquil upon all spiritual matters. And 
yet he had his bar jokes, and reminiscences of ancient 
jests served upon a brother long since gone to final judg¬ 
ment; and on motion days, would wrinkle up his sedate 
countenance into something that faintly resembled a 
smile, when reminded of these traditionary jeux d’esprit 
by a facetious judge, who had just received his quarter’s 
salary. 

Under the auspices of this worthy personage, I nailed 
a piece of tin upon the front window-shutter of a small 
room, in the noisiest and most disagreeable part of the 
town, and with heroic patience, for many a long month 
bode my time. I will pass over that weary interval. 
How often did I determine to abandon the profession and 
plunge into the active business of life, but habits acquired 
during my preparation for practice, with an entire sepa¬ 
ration from men of business, had utterly unfitted me now 
for any other pursuit: I was chained to the oar—the die 
was cast. O that I had only had the courage to throw 
aside those hateful books, and seize hold of the honest 
calling of my poor father—who was an eminent little 
calf-butcher! 

An opportunity at last occurred ; a client with lingering 
steps and slow, absolutely engaged my services to defend 
his cause in the Criminal Court. Why this infatuated 


THE FIRST AND LAST SPEECH OF A TYRO. 


29 


individual appealed to me in preference to five hundred 
others, it was impossible to imagine. Afterwards it 
came to my knowledge, that he had applied to several 
for professional aid, but vainly, not having it in his power 
to perform that very important ceremony so agreeable 
to my venerable preceptor, and without which, it was 
impossible to comprehend the plainest proposition, but 
the moment it was pocketed, every thing was as clear 
to his perception as the noon-day sun—by the bye the 
only figure he ever indulged in, with the exception of 
one other, with which he concluded an argument to his 
own mind perfectly irresistible, that “ there was not a 
loop to hang a doubt upon/’ 

Without any fee or reward, vested or contingent, be¬ 
hold me preparing for the trial of this mighty cause. As 
I passed through the streets on my way to the court 
house, I was impressed with the idea that the whole 
-world was gazing upon me. Cassar’s procession to the 
Capitol was nothing to the heavy forebodings that shook 
my frame. Upon taking my seat within the bar, in vain 
did I assume an air of affected indifference; my heart 
beat almost to bursting; my mind became confused; all 
the blood in my body had rushed to the inmost recesses 
of my heart, leaving my face pale and clammy as a cold 
muffin. I felt very ill, and once or twice was upon the 
point of retiring under a sudden indisposition. I was 
awakened from this general paralysis by an appeal from 
one of the judges, of “ Go on, sir, with your case !” 

My professional opponent, in manner, spirit and action, 
formed a strange contrast to myself. He was a petti¬ 
fogger in the most unqualified sense of the word : un¬ 
educated, scarcely able to articulate three words of 


30 


THE FIRST AND LAST SPEECH OF A TYRO. 


English correctly, and with about as much knowledge 
of the principles of the science as a Hottentot or Sibe¬ 
rian Cossack, yet bold, forward, conceited, and impudent, 
past all belief. 

The swaggering air with which this gentleman of the 
bar—once a sailor, now twisted into a land-shark,—con¬ 
fronted a timid witness, elicited great applause from the 
spectators, and one or two roaring speeches with violent 
gesticulations and divers appeals to the fearless integrity 
of his own conduct, so overcame the sympathies of the 
tipstaves and the court-loungers, that every oyster-house 
resounded with his praise. Independent of these pro¬ 
fessional excellencies, he was a pot-house politician of 
great renown; between him and the judge therefore 
there existed a kindred sympathy of feeling, the latter 
having arrived at that eminent station by reason of the 
same meritorious services. 

Diffident of my own abilities, fearful of the sound of 
my own voice, and embarrassed by the manners of the 
judge, who w 7 as rollicking back in an arm-chair, with 
his hand before his mouth, sliding something into the ear 
of his associate, which appeared to me a jest upon my 
person, or some stale joke entirely unconnected with the 
administration of justice—the curious enunciating in a 
bold confident manner of what my opponent, the sea- 
attorney, asserted to be law, and which he felt confident 
the court would bear him out with in their charge, so 
overwhelmed and distressed me, that I scarcely knew 
whether I stood upon my head or my heels. I however 
summoned up sufficient courage to rise and utter the 
following words—“Gentlemen of the Jury-” 

These words had no sooner passed my parched lips, 


THE FIRST AND LAST SPEECH OF A TYRO. 


31 


than the concentrated rays of twenty-three eyes were 
brought to bear upon my person—for one of the panel 
had lost one of these organs, but the other was a piercer 
—so that I immediately felt the full force of my perilous 
position, a target for the whole sworn twelve to fire at. 
It was awful; my limbs trembled beneath me, my hand 
shook till the paper fairly rattled as I held it forth. As 
I was about to reiterate the words just spoken, the silence 
which pervaded the court-room was interrupted by a 
cry of “ Stand back, clear the way for the Grand Jury,” 
and in stalked the whole array and took their seats. 
The ceremony of receiving bills from this formidable 
body was finished. Burglaries, larcenies, both grand 
and petty, with one murder as a trump, were shuffled 
over by the judge, and then handed to the Attorney- 
General, accompanied with a grave remark that they 
were all right—and after much shoving and cries of 
“ Clear the way, make room for the Grand Jury,” which 
was reiterated by the constabulary in every variety of 
form and intonation of voice, order was restored and 
the twenty-three eyes again commenced mesmerising 
me. “ Gentlemen,” said I—a very long pause,—“ Gen¬ 
tlemen—if there is one of you that will-”—“ a-a-t 

chee, ee!” came from the one-eyed juryman, like the 
explosion of a keg of powder; such a sneeze was never 
heard before, nor ever will be heard again; it startled 
the whole assemblage. Some dozen loafers dozing upon 
the back seats gazed for a moment about them with a 
vacant and bewildered stare, then sunk again into slum¬ 
ber, to dream of pots of beer, lawyers, smoked sausages, 
and Grand Juries. 

The twenty-two eyes of the eleven were withdrawn 



32 


THE FIRST AND LAST SPEECH OF A TYRO. 


from me and bent with curious gaze upon their twelfth 
one-eyed associate, from whose nostrils had issued that 
tremendous and supernatural blast; that gentleman’s 
head, buried for some time beneath the rail, was not 
visible; my own impression was that it had dropped off or 
been hurled off, for he was very busy seeking for some¬ 
thing upon the floor. Our apprehensions upon that point 
were quickly relieved, for up it rose again, slowly as if 
drawn by some powerful machine, the mouth wide open 
from ear to ear, his right eye shut as tightly as the one 
which some amiable playmate had gouged out in youth. 
Onward it went until bent as far back as the natural 
structure of those parts of the body would permit, every 
energy of that individual juryman apparently concen¬ 
trated into the effort to give forth a sneeze which should 
astonish all mankind. Judging from the involuntary 
specimen of his powers already given, there could not be 
“ a loop to hang a doubt upon,” as my preceptor would 
say, but that this forthcoming effort would realize the 
most sanguine expectations of the audience. Bench, 
bar, tipstaves and spectators, as one man, with suppressed 
breath and staring eyeballs, awaited the awful explosion. 
There it comes—there w r as a slight preliminary gasp 
—a preparatory heave—the eye opened, the mouth shut, 
and the nostril ejaculated a slight “ hitchee,” not much 
louder than the chirp of a tom-tit. This was worse than 
the other; disappointment pervaded the whole assem¬ 
blage, with no small mixture of popular indignation. 
There was something, however, so irresistibly comical 
in the whole exhibition that with one accord the gentle 
world of General Sessions roared with laughter—all 
except poor I, who was now doubly confounded ; all my 


THE FIRST AND LAST SPEECH OF A TYRO. 


33 


pathos, the preparation of weeks, was sneezed away by 
that infernal one-eyed juryman; and though silence was 
commanded in every variety of cadence and emphasis, 
from the snap-snap of the newly fledged constabulary to 
the deep growl of the old crier, who was famous for the 
imperious demands upon the public for that which he 
never could maintain in his own domicile, I was utterly 
gone, dumfounded, and with one or two spasmodic 
efforts at articulation, gave up, and sank into my chair 
covered with confusion. What transpired afterwards, 
I have no recollection of. Upon looking over the columns 
of a newspaper some days after, I saw that my client 
had been convicted, notwithstanding a most powerful 
speech made by Hiram Hock, Esq. This was my first 
effort, with every probability of its being my last. 


YON YEARLING HEIFFER. 


THE CELEBRATED MAESTRO OF THE JEWSHARP. 

From the remotest periods, almost every age can 
boast of some wonderful genius, whose intellectual or 
physical endowments, above all others, are pre-eminently 
distinguished. Bright and particular stars have struggled 
through the obscurity of the dark ages, and ever after 
shone with a steady, enduring and imperishable light. 
Others have burst forth like meteors for a time to dazzle 
and astonish mankind. Of the former, a Milton and a 
Shakspeare still shine with undiminished brilliancy in 
the literary firmament, whilst the coruscating genius of 
a Daniel O’Connell, Napoleon Bonaparte, Ole Bull, and 
Von Yearling Heiffer, captivate the senses and para¬ 
lyze the gaze of the nineteenth century. 

There would be much dispute as to the nationality of 
our hero, was it decided upon the principle of the 
ancient apothegm ,—non ubi nascor , sed ubi pascor — 
making that place his mother, not which bred , but which 
fed him, as every empire, kingdom, and state is tribu¬ 
tary to his genius. 

Fortunately we are fully acquainted with the early 
history of Von Yearling Heiffer, even from the hour of 
his birth, and all the details of his parentage and place 
of nativity. 


VON YEARLING HEIFFER. 


35 


Germany has the honour of being the birthplace of 
A^on Yearling Heiffer. He was horn in the romantic 
little village of Humbug, and Duchy of Buttermilk- 
hausen. 

With infinite pleasure we are able to record not only 
the day, and year, and month, but the precise hour to a 
minute, when that happy event transpired. It was on 
the memorable first day of April, a. d. 1823, at five and 
a half minutes past four of the morning. 

His mother, Soosook Heiffer, was not what is termed 
a strong-minded woman, but remarkable for great pro¬ 
priety of demeanour, uncommon industry, and surprising 
strength of constitution: the latter she inherited from 
the English Bulls, to which family she was nearly re¬ 
lated. She was what might be termed a pains-taking 
body, and addicted to very early rising. To this virtue 
then, may be ascribed the choice of that unfashionable 
hour to perform the important duty of giving birth to 
Yon Yearling, that the rest of the day might be dedi¬ 
cated to the compounding of sausages and the fabrica¬ 
tion of cheeses, in which separate and distinct sciences 
she eminently excelled. 

From a portrait of that excellent woman which 
adorns the Hall of Churnagain, the palace of the Arch¬ 
duke Parmesan, we form a very favourable opinion of 
her personal accomplishments. 

She was neither tall nor short, but perhaps might be 
more aptly styled a spherical beauty; that is to say, she 
was about as broad as she was long. This pleasing 
rotundity was usually encompassed by a short German 
woollen petticoat, the waist commencing immediately 
under the arms. Her head was adorned with one of 


36 


VON YEARLING HE1FFER. 


those exquisite little German skull-caps, plastered down 
with such skill that no phrenological developement. was 
hid from view; or, more poetically described, as if 
some one had “ plucked from her forehead an innocent 
love, and clapped a blister there.’ , Her back had a 
graceful Grecian curve, though it has been intimated, 
(with what truth we will not pretend to affirm,) that the 
last mentioned beauty was an organic affection, occa¬ 
sioned by the weight of a musical instrument which her 
affectionate spouse was wont to place upon her shoul¬ 
ders, when perambulating the neighbouring villages. 

This lovely woman was of English descent, as we 
before observed, originally from Cowes, where Ole Bull 
of that parish, the grand uncle of the immortal Ole Bull, 
was married to her mother, and took her to Buttermilk- 
hausen. Of course the reader will perceive that there 
is an affinity between Ole Bull of forty-fiddlestick 
power, and the subject of our short biographical sketch. 

So much for the maternal,—we will now glance at 
the paternal side of this domestic picture, for every thing 
that relates, however remotely, to our hero, has become 
a matter of the deepest interest to the world. 

They say, it is a wise child that knows his own 
father. Gifted as young Heiffer is with supernatural 
abilities, yet, an affecting incident has occurred to 
the gentleman who claimed the honour of being the 
author of our hero’s existence, which utterly precluded 
him from any personal knowledge of his distinguished 
parent. 

Horntosser, the father of Yearling Heiffer, whom it 
becomes our duty to notice, was an original but eccen¬ 
tric genius; the perfect antipode in disposition and tastes 


VON YEARLING HEIFFER. 


37 


to his lovely spouse. He was one of those powerful 
geniuses that would rather do any thing than work. So 
perfectly, however, did he appreciate the skill of his 
lady, that much of his time was dedicated to her sausages 
and cheeses; but suddenly, under an impulse w r hich it is 
impossible and perhaps unnecessary to define, he quitted 
his home and w r andered about in strange places, with no 
other companion than a monkey, of very small propor¬ 
tions, who figured upon the top of a rare instrument of 
music, out of which Horntosser did grind exquisite and 
dulcet tones. 

It is reported that so great was the popularity of this 
worthy gentleman, that he seldom appeared in the 
streets of a town, but instantly a crowd gathered round 
his person, and bestowed many testimonials upon him, in 
the shape of copper coins, as tokens of remembrance. 

In an evil hour, Horntosser encountered a pedlar, 
fresh from the United States of America, who gave him 
such glowing accounts of that new world, that he de¬ 
termined at once to quit his faderland , and embark for 
that Eldorado for pedlars, organ grinders, and catgut 
scrapers. 

But alas, how short-sighted is man! The gay visions 
of Horntosser were never realized. Upon his arrival in 
America, he was not a little astonished and mortified to 
discover that numbers of his countrymen had already 
anticipated him, and that every town and village was 
plentifully supplied with barrel-organs and monkeys 
without number. But such were the supernatural endow¬ 
ments of his companion, so exquisite was the cut of his 
jacket, and with such infinite grace did he sport his little 
military cocked hat, whilst the Maestro extracted sweet 


38 


VON YEARLING HEIFFER. 


tones from his instrument, that a large share of public 
patronage was enjoyed by both. 

If Horntosser had remained satisfied with the slow 
acquisition of wealth, the result, perhaps, would have 
been very different; but either from the effect of the 
atmosphere in which he moved, or from some uncon¬ 
trollable desire for the sudden acquisition of fortune, his 
powerful genius conceived the idea of teaching his 
monkey to discharge a little ordnance at the spectators, 
not being aware that in the execution of this astonishing 
and pleasing feat he was infringing the great ordinances 
of the city of Brotherly Love. For a time, however, 
he reaped a harvest of coppers and sixpences by this 
daring exploit, when the monkey happening to discharge 
his pistol in the ear of a doctor’s horse, that animal, 
much to the astonishment of the spectators, and entirely 
out of the course of his usual habits, scampered off with 
a speed that quickly demolished the vehicle to which he 
was fastened, much to his own satisfaction, but to the 
unequivocal mortification of the owner thereof. The 
doctor made complaint loud and strong before a magis¬ 
trate, accompanied by divers imprecations against all 
organ-grinders and pistol-firing monkeys: an arrest of 
the ill-fated Horntosser was the consequence, and he 
and organ and monkey were carried before the tribunal 
of a magistrate. 

In vain did poor Horntosser plead in German his utter 
and entire ignorance of the laws. In vain did he urge 
that his companion was an irresponsible being and not 
amenable to the law. The doctor was inexorable, and 
so was the magistrate; and all the profits of this gifted 
individual were in a moment, by the scratch of a pen, 


VON YEARLING HEIFFER. 


39 


swept into the pockets of that functionary and his worthy 
assistants, by a fine of fifty dollars and costs; the penalty 
being made additionally heavy on account of an indignity 
offered to the person of the magistrate by the monkey, 
who during the solemnity of the trial and examination, 
was distracting the attention of the audience by surprising 
and perhaps indecorous feats of agility, unbecoming his 
position, which though they elicited unqualified applause 
from the spectators, could not but be interpreted as an 
intended insult. Superadded to which, there was a 
general levity of conduct, unpardonable and inexcusable 
in one so travelled and accomplished. 

There was another reason why the penalty was so 
severe, which Horntosser will ever remain ignorant of. 
The act abolishing imprisonment for debt had just be¬ 
come a law. There had, therefore, been a terrible slack 
of judicial and constabulary business. The little affair 
of Horntosser was a sort of godsend which they be¬ 
lieved it their duty to make the most of. The father of 
our hero became so completely disgusted with republican 
justice, for not permitting monkeys to crack off little 
pistols, that he packed up and re-embarked for his fader- 
land. 

But much had transpired since this worthy man had 
quit his home. The genius of his son had burst forth to 
astonish the world, and after reaping a world of glory 
there, had departed for that very land from which his 
parent had fled with disgust and mortification. This ex¬ 
plains, therefore, why our hero never had the opportunity 
of knowing personally his own father. 

We must apologize for this digression, if such it can 
be called, for every thing that relates to our hero is of 


40 


VON YEARLING HEIFFER. 


such absorbing interest, that this little episodical history 
in the life of the reputed author of his being, cannot but 
be of the greatest interest to the public. 

Von Yearling exhibited at a very early age some of 
those surprising qualities which have distinguished him 
as one of the greatest geniuses of the age. We cannot 
but look upon fiddling and dancing as a gift of inspira¬ 
tion, which in spite of any obstacle will burst forth at 
the fitting time. No matter how overwhelming the dif¬ 
ficulties, it struggles forth with a lustre proportionate to 
the obstacles that oppose its progress. 

Which part of the human frame is the seat of intelli¬ 
gence has been a disputed point with philosophers time 
out of mind ; and they who have believed in the theory 
of brains and all that sort of thing, are not a little con¬ 
founded by the recent extraordinary men and women 
who have attracted and commanded undivided attention 
and admiration without the use of their heads at all. 
Elssler’s heels, the supernatural elbow 7 of Ole Bull, that 
might be said to be a complication of the concentrated 
energies of forty fiddlers’ elbows in a country ddnce, 
confound all such theories, and distract us with the start¬ 
ling supposition whether, after all, the brains be not in 
the fiddle of the one and the heels of the other. 

The Chinese have been laughed at for believing that 
the belly was the seat of the soul; but it behoves us 
hereafter to be more careful how we condemn a theory 
before it has been tried and tested and matured by ex¬ 
periment. 

The godlike abilities of Ole Bull, though pressed down 
by every accumulative difficulty—not forgetting poverty, 
which is acknowledged by all to be a crusher of no or- 


VON YEARLING IIEIFFER. 


41 


dinary power—burst forth lfke a suppressed flame. So 
with Yearling Heiffer ; though thwarted by the indiscreet 
though well-meant efforts of his friends, he conquered 
all opposition. 

In vain did they attempt to teach him the vulgar at¬ 
tainments of reading and writing. In vain was it an 
effort made to instruct our hero in some honest trade or 
calling, and thus cramp his omnipotent genius. We are 
happy to say that these efforts were all unsuccessful. 
His mighty genius was uncontrolled and uncontrollable. 
Sleeping, eating sausages and sourcrout, was his constant 
occupation, until an accident suddenly developed all his 
powers, and gave him the command of that instrument 
by which he was to raise himself, without that useless ar¬ 
ticle called brains, to the highest pinnacle of human glory. 

The incident is curious, affecting and instructive. A 
great fair was held in the vicinity of Humbug in the 
Duchy of Buttermilkhausen. Our hero waff exceedingly 
anxious to go to this fair, and was promised the gratifi¬ 
cation by his mother, upon condition he assisted her in 
the polishing off some specimens of the skill in the 
sausage and cheese line. He fulfilled her wishes, and 
received from that worthy and exemplary woman a 
penny, accompanied by a maternal admonition that he 
would be careful not to make a beast of himself by any 
foolish and improvident expenditure of that liberal dona¬ 
tion. 

With this penny, Von Yearling Heiffer bought a Jews- 
harp, an instrument of music he long had coveted, and 
at once commenced his labours. He appeared to be 
born for it; night and day did this talented youth prac¬ 
tise every variety of tune, never for one moment inter- 
4 


42 


VON YEARLING HEIFFER. 


mitting his labours, a little sausage and a little sourcrout 
being taken at times to prevent exhaustion. In a short 
time he felt himself master of it, and exhibited his talents 
to the people of his native village. Men, women and 
children were enraptured; with one accord he was 
unanimously pronounced a real Humbugger, and an 
honour to the place of his nativity. 

His fame flew upon the wings of the wind. The 
Duchess of Parmesan sent him a cheese, with a particu¬ 
lar request that he would exhibit his skill at Churnagain, 
the Palace of the Principality of Buttermilkhausen. His 
performance there had the most surprising effects. Her 
Grace was thrown into such ecstasies that her life was 
despaired of for several days, but upon recovery, 
presented him with the order of the golden fleece, as the 
most appropriate gift for such abilities. 

The whole court of Buttermilkhausen was in tears, 
several maids of honour had to be carried out, and Baron 
Goldschmidt who happened to be present, with the great¬ 
est liberality presented him with five shares in the Missis¬ 
sippi bonds, accompanied with a letter to Governor 
McNutt, in case it should be the determination of Yon 
Yearling to go to America and tune up “ those amiable 
transatlantic repudiators.” 

Gold now poured into the pockets of Yon Yearling, 
faster than coppers were showered upon the heads of his 
father and monkey. All the world bowed at the shrine 
of his magnificent genius. Nothing was talked of but 
Von Yearling Heiffer and his Jews-harp. Princes and 
Princesses, Dukes and Duchesses were expiring with 
delight. At Vienna, his first appearance was awful. 
We copy from the Allgemeine Zeitung, a vivid descrip- 


VON YEARLING IIEIFFER. 


43 


tion of that appearance:—The effect upon the audience 
was wonderful. The house was decidedly the largest 
he had had, and the performance unquestionably more 
thrilling and subduing than any they had previously 
heard. The last piece, the * Carving de Venison ,* was 
received with such a demonstration of popular delight 
as has never before been witnessed in any theatre. After 
the hurricane had subsided, the Maestro came forward, 
bending low and holding his Jews-harp at the end of his 
nose, by the tongue of that magic instrument. He said 
in a voice broken with emotion:— 

“ * I vas born in Humbug, but mine harp is at yourn 
shervice.’ 

“ He then took his harp off of his nose, blew that organ 
with a white cambric pocket-handkerchief in the most 
graceful and affecting manner, played the Humbug waltz 
in such an exquisite style, that every body was wound up 
to such a state of ecstasy that relief could only be ob¬ 
tained by parting with all their spare cash, and those 
that had none to spare borrowed from others, or the 
consequences might have been fatal. Some have never 
been unwound since, and are still turning round singing 
his praises in the most exaggerated strains.” 

Having exhausted Europe, we are happy to hear that 
it is the intention of this gifted and wonderful genius to 
pay us a visit, and from the success of his distinguished 
relation in the fiddling department, we have no doubt 
but Von Yearling Heifter, of Humbug and Buttermilk- 
hausen, will be received with an enthusiasm correspond¬ 
ing to his great talents! 


A GREAT BATTLE OFF THE HAVANNA, 

in 1844. 

“ Coming events cast their shadows before.” 

“ Go forth, brave champion of your native land; 

And may the battle prosper in your hand. 

It may—if must! You cannot be withstood; 

Your soul is fearless as your cause is good.” 

Churchill. 

Far above the parapets of the Moro Castle, like a 
pyramid of clouds, towered the white swelling sails of a 
man-of-war of the largest class. From her peak streamed 
forth, in ample folds, a well-known flag, upon whose 
azure field sparkled the stars of a constellation, increas¬ 
ing every day in lustre. The dark hull of this gigantic 
warrior passed out of the bay, and majestically bowed 
to the swell which now heaved in from the broad ocean 
against her bright cleaving bow, which scattered aside 
the opposing fluid into jets of milk-white foam and spray. 

Every thing about this magnificent craft was trimmed 
with nautical precision. Her bright sides bristled with 
a triple array of heavy artillery. As if by magic, the 
lower, and lighter sails aloft, were furled to the yards— 
and like a gladiator stripped for the fight, this grim war¬ 
rior was prepared to battle with her country’s foes or 
ocean’s storms. 

Upon the quarter-deck of that ship stood the veteran 


A GREAT BATTLE OFF THE HAVANNA. 


45 


commander, calm and collected. For a moment he 
cast a hastv glance aloft, then gave a brief but stern 
order to an officer near him, and again was calm and 
absorbed in meditation. 

“What’s the report, sir?” he said sharply to the 
officer who had returned. “ Is our squadron in sight ?” 

“ Yes, sir, hull down, but coming on with a spanking 
breeze.” 

Almost within hail, a fleet of men-of-war were slowly 
approaching under easy sail. The leading vessel, a 
seventy-four, carried the Admiral’s flag, whilst the cross 
of Saint George waved over the taffrail. The American 
lay broadside on to the British cruiser, her main-top¬ 
sail hove to the mast. The same manoeuvre was per¬ 
formed by the British man-of-war, and those two ocean 
cavaliers, at the distance of some hundred fathoms 
apart, as if in knightly courtesy, gracefully saluted as 
they rose and fell upon the waves. A boat dropped from 
the quarter of each vessel at the same moment. For an 
instant the glittering oars were held aloft; at the words 
“ let fall, give way!” they both sprung from the 
respective ships, with a speed that quickly brought them 
together. 

“ What ship is that, sir ?” said the British officer, 
slightly touching his hat. 

“The United States Ship of the Line Pennsylvania,” 
replied the American. 

“And her commander?” 

“Commodore Charles Stewart. What ship is that, 
sir?” 

“ Her Britannic Majesty’s Ship Bellerophon.” 

“ Her commander?” 


46 


A GREAT BATTLE OFF THE HAVANNA. 


“ Admiral Sir George Brooke.” 

“And permit me to ask,” continued the American 
Lieutenant, “ where are you bound, and for what 
purpose V 9 

In a clear, firm voice the prompt reply was, “ To the 
Havanna, to take possession of the island of Cuba.” 

“ I am directed by the orders of Commodore Stewart, 
to repeat to you for the information of the Admiral, that 
such a movement cannot he permitted '.” 

“ Nothing else, sir V 9 

“ Nothing.” 

The two officers civilly bowed to each other, seated 
themselves in the stern sheets of their respective boats, 
and whirled off to the ships. Upon the quarter-deck of 
the Pennsylvania, the old Commodore was quietly seated 
upon a gun; as the officer advanced, he drily inquired if 
he had obeyed orders. 

“ Yes, sir.” 

“Then beat to quarters”—and the lively tones of the 
fife and drum were quickly heard sounding that inspiring 
call. A thousand active, hardy-looking fellows in a 
moment stood to their tackle and stations. The ship was 
ready for action. 

In the meantime, signals had been passing from the 
British Admiral’s ship to his squadron. Soon after, a 
barge dashed alongside of the American ship, and an 
officer of gallant bearing mounted the companion ladder, 
to whom was paid the highest military honours, and 
conducted to the presence of the old tar, who received 
his distinguished visiter with that gentlemanly courtesy 
for which he is so remarkable. 

The following conversation took place : 


A GREAT BATTLE OFF THE HAVANNA, 


47 


“I have the honour to address Commodore Stewart,I 
believe V* 

“ My name is Charles Stewart, sir,” replied he 
smiling; “ and I have the honour to command the Home 
Squadron of the United States Navy.” 

After a pause of a few moments, the Admiral, for 
such was the rank of the officer with the star upon his 
breast, said, “ I am informed, sir, that it is your intention 
to interrupt the passage of Her Britannic Majesty’s fleet 
into that harbour,” pointing towards the Havanna; “ am 
I rightly informed, sir ?” 

“ If for the purpose of taking possession of the Island, 
—you are rightly informed.” 

“ You certainly, sir,” repeated the Admiral with much 
warmth, “ can have no such instructions from your 
Government. It was thought that there was a perfect 
understanding between Her Majesty’s Ministers, and the 
late Secretary of State at Washington, upon this subject. 
It is far from the wish of Her Majesty’s Government to 
enter into any hostile collision with the United States, 
with whom it is the well known and expressed wish of 
Her Majesty to remain upon the most friendly and 
pacific terms. Any interference upon your part in a 
matter of such deep and lively interest to Great Britain 
would certainly involve the two nations in a war; I may 
add, nothing could be more unlooked for, and nothing 
more unwarrantable.” 

“ Now look ye, Sir George,” said the Commodore, 
mildly and respectfully, but with a peculiar air of deter¬ 
mination not to be misunderstood, “ whether I have 
positive orders or not, is immaterial to you ; I shall act 
in this instance without regard to consequences, and for 


48 


A GREAT BATTLE OFF THE HAVANNA. 


the good of my country. I shall be plain, explicit and 
frank with you—our diplomacy will be brief. So long 
as the confederacy of the States exists, Cuba must not 
pass into the hands of Great Britain, nor any other 
scheming, enterprising, mercantile power. Havanna is 
the key to the Gulf, into which pours through the 
channel of the Mississippi, the wealth of all the Western 
and Southern States, nor can my country be insensible 
to the danger of her peace and union, which must 
instantly follow from that timid policy which would per¬ 
mit this Island and her vast military fortification to 
become a point d’appui for a British crusade against her 
Southern domestic institutions. At all events, I am pre¬ 
pared to assume the responsibility of my present position, 
and to sacrifice, if necessary, in maintaining it, my own 
life and the lives of all those whom I now have the 
honour to command. While that flag waves over the 
head of Charles Stewart, your avowed movement will 
be resisted to the last;” and mildly turning to his chief 
executive officer, he observed in low tones, “ I think my 
country will applaud the act, and should I fall, do justice 
to my memory.” 

For a moment the Admiral gazed at the imperturbable 
features of the veteran tar, and said— 

“ Are you resolved, Commodore Stewart?” 

“ Admiral Sir George Brooke,” said the Commodore, 
advancing close to him, but with solemnity and respect, 
said in the most impressive manner—“ Do you see yon 
distant Moro Castle? its foundations are not more firm 
than my determination.” 

“Very well, sir,” was the prompt reply. “I shall 
return to my vessel, and shall be under the unpleasant 


A GREAT BATTLE OFF THE HAVANNA. 


49 


necessity of blowing you out of the water, for you see I 
am ten to one.” 

“ Blow away, sir, but before you make the experiment, 
be pleased to cast your eyes to w indward”—for by this 
time the Home Squadron were within cannon-shot, bear¬ 
ing down under a crowd of canvass. 

“ What ships are those, sir?” said the Admiral, 
addressing one of the officers of the Pennsylvania, and 
whose face w r as glowing with delight at the prospect of 
a row which he had not tasted since 1814. 

“ Those ships, sir ?” 

“ Yes, sir, those to windward.” 

“ O! I beg pardon, sir, only the Constitution, Macedo¬ 
nian, United States, Java, Brandywine, Yorktown, 
Germantown, and Steamers Princeton and Mississippi.” 

The Admiral then turned round to the American com¬ 
mander. Raising his hat above his head, he said, “ Com¬ 
modore Stewart, farewell.” 

“Farewell, sir,” was the reply, and the Admiral 
departed, every military honour being paid to him that 
was due his rank. 

A cutter came alongside, into which I sprung, 
freighted with despatches, and orders to hasten with all 
possible speed to a southern port in the United States. 
As we passed the British transports, we observed that 
they were crowded with troops. We passed through the 
American line; every thing was prepared for battle— 
the crews were at their stations The question involun¬ 
tarily occurred, how many of these gallant fellows, 
whose hearts throb with enthusiasm, will be laid low ere 
sunset ? 

We could observe the Pennsylvania still hove to— 


50 


A GREAT BATTLE OFF THE HAVANNA. 


occasionally a bright musket or cutlass gleamed in the 
sun—and a flag now fluttered from the pinnacle of each 
of her towering masts. The squadron was advancing 
in line of battle; whilst the Princeton and Mississippi 
were hovering like hawks upon the flanks. The British 
fleet had filed away for the harbour, which lay directly 
on a line with the American flag ship. Whilst gazing 
from the stern of our receding bark, with intense interest 
upon the manoeuvres of the two fleets, a cloud of smoke 
rolled from the side of the Bellerophon, and ere the roar 
of the artillery reached us, we could see the splinters and 
crippled spars flying into the air from the decks of the 
Pennsylvania—but no return to that terrible salute. 
Again and again, did volumes of smoke and flame pour 
from the sides of the Bellerophon. At that moment the 
dark hull of the Pennsylvania passed between two large 
ships, and the sea and air shook with a tremendous con¬ 
cussion. Every vessel was now engaged in close com¬ 
bat—all were enveloped in a dun canopy of sulphurous 
smoke—above which, we could see the stars and stripes 
still waving proudly. Occasionally a heavy explosion 
burst upon the ear. 

“ There goes Stockton’s big gun ; I pity the fellow that 
got that pill; and there’s another!” 

“ Hurra!” said the skipper, and our little crew waved 
their hats, and stretched over the bulwarks, as if to jump 
into the sea to aid their countrymen. 

Long after this scene had sunk below the horizon, we 
could hear the battle like a gathering tropical storm. 
What was the result we cannot say; duty compelled us 
from the glorious conflict. Whether the Commodore 
was blown out of water or not, time only will disclose. 


A GREAT BATTLE OFF THE HAVANNA. 


51 


If it should be so, we know what the people of the 
United States will feel for the memory of the gallant 
old fellow ; and if he lives, and returns triumphant, we 
do not think there will be much trouble about canvassing 
for the next Presidency of these United States. 

The foregoing sketch was written some two months 
before the meeting of Congress; we here append a 
report of an interesting debate upon the floor of Con¬ 
gress, on the subject of our sketch. 

Note. —Quite a skirmish took place in the House at Washington, on 
Wednesday, between Mr. Adams and Mr. C. J. Ingersoll. The question 
under consideration was the Home Squadron. Mr. Adams said, in the 
course of his remarks : 

“ Nine millions; and for what ? To spread our flag to the winds and 
show our stars and stripes in every sea. What else is it to do? Is it 
necessary at this time for the defence of the country ? Does our coast 
require a whole squadron to protect it ? Is the great maritime power of 
the earth in such a position of affairs with us that we need expect the 
coming of a British squadron here, to meet which this home squadron 
is wanted ? No, sir. What then do we want it for ? There was, two 
years ago, a report from the then Secretary of the Navy, accompanied 
by a report from the Secretary of War, in which there was an intima¬ 
tion that our navy, in comparison with the navy of Great Britain, was 
then as eight to one: that the British navy was, in fact, eight times as 
large as our own ; and the sum then asked for the naval service of the 
year was eight millions: (now we are asked for nine millions—one mil¬ 
lion more,) and the report of the Secretary of the Navy contended for 
the principle that it was the policy of the government to go on increasing 
its naval establishment as fast as it could until it rose to half the size of 
the navy of Great Britain. Now put these two things together. Their 
navy was then to ours as eight to one : and we were to augment ours 
till it was half as large as theirs; theirs being eight, ours must be four; 
and four times eight are thirty-two, so that the secretary, in substance, 
asked of Congress to sanction a principle which necessarily involved the 
appropriation of thirty-two millions of dollars for the national service.— 
This was asked, I say, two years ago, as proper at that time for the 


52 


A GREAT BATTLE OFF THE HAVANNA. 


use of the navy. And the gentleman has already said lhat if we go on 
increasing our naval force at the rate we are now pursuing, thirty-two 
millions will not be enough. No, sir, it will not: fifty millions will not 
cover the expenditure. My friend from Philadelphia, (Mr. Ingersoll) 
was I recollect very ferocious, about that time, for the burning of Lon¬ 
don, [a laugh] with our navy ; he told us it could be done ; and if our 
naval force was not equal to it then, he was ready to go on and increase 
it till it should be strong enough to sail up the Thames and burn Lon¬ 
don. [Roars of laughter.] Yes, sir, London; not Chatham, which I 
believe some Dutch admiral did once set fire to, or attempted it. 

Mr. C. J. Ingersoll here, amid much surrounding merriment, inter¬ 
posed to explain, and Mr. Adams assenting, he stated that he had only 
proposed to bum London in return for what the gentleman from Massa¬ 
chusetts had proposed, viz. to take a British fleet up the Mississippi and 
burn Natchez! [Laughter.] 

Mr. Adams, I burn Natchez ? I take the British fleet up the Missis¬ 
sippi ? I never proposed any such thing. I bring a British fleet up the 
Mississippi to burn Natchez ? Oh no, sir. This is an afterthought. 

Mr. Adams observed that he believed that when the project of the 
Home Squadron was first broached, he voted for it. 

Mr. C. J. Ingersoll. Yes: there were in fact but three voting 
against it. 

Mr. Adams. Ay : and that was because this House did not then 
know what it was for. Sir, it looks to a war with Great Britain—to 
this first, and then to the fact that in that event the coast will require a 
large squadron for its defence. It is proposed to go to war with Great 
Britain, in case she should taffe a fancy to take Cuba. Thai is the reason 
for increasing this Home Squadron. That’s it. It is war, sir. 

Mr. C. J. Ingersoll here said he was very anxious to put one question 
to the honourable gentleman from Massachusetts: would the gentleman 
allow him to ask one question ? 

Mr. Adams. Why, I believe not, sir. If the gentleman wants the 
floor to put questions to me, I think I had better not yield it, for I do 
not want to be questioned by the gentleman just now. What question 
docs he want to put ? 

Mr. C. J. Ingersoll. I ask the gentleman, would he let Great Britain 
have Cuba ? would he ? 

Mr. Adams. I ask the gentleman in turn, is he ready to go to war 
with Great Britain ? is he ? 


A GREAT BATTLE OFF THE HAVANNA. 


53 


Mr. C. J. Ingersoll. Without one moment’s hesitation, sooner than 
let her take Cuba. 

Mr. Adams. I believe so. I believe the gentleman is ready ; and as 
that is at least a possible event, this Home Squadron appropriation is 
meant to provide for it. I am against a war, I believe the country is 
against it, and that they will support the proposition of the gentleman 
from New Hampshire. I believe that the morals of the country are not 
so deeply corrupt as to be prepared to go to war with Great Britain for 
the sake of a company of Creoles; no, nor yet for the sake of annexing 
Texas to the Union : for that is another of the objects in view.—The 
gentleman from Pennsylvania said that it is not by reducing the expen¬ 
ditures in the army or the navy that we can effect a reduction in our 
expenditures. No; but by administrative measures here, at home. 
Well, sir, suppose we shall adopt, at once, the British plan, and let the 
members of this House and the members of the Senate serve without 
pay. Suppose we strike out the items of our pay and mileage, and all 
the other expenses, as well of Congress things, and simply talking about 
the extravagances in the various Departments, and simply dismounting 
a regiment, (which he took for granted was to be remounted again,) and 
calling home the Home Squadron, which in a year or two was to be sent 
out again; if, in short, they did not do the thing effectually, and in the 
right way, that responsibility would not only weigh heavily, but would 
weigh destructively, upon them. 

We have gathered the above from the able Report in the National In¬ 
telligencer. 


STEAM AGAINST SAILS, 


OR 

COMING EVENTS CAST THEIR SHADOWS BEFORE. 


A BATTLE BETWEEN A FIRST-RATE MAN-OF-WAR AND A STEAMER, IN THE 

YEAR 1845. 


The object of this sketch, the reader will discover, 
is to illustrate the great improvement made in this 
country in nautical science. For this purpose he has, 
by a species of second sight or prophetic clairvoyance, 
peeped into the future, and anticipated the results of 
American science in any collision that may come with 
the usual forms of naval belligerency, and shadowed 
forth in striking colours the omnipotent power of an 
element subdued by art, and which promises to effect 
yet greater changes in the condition of the human race. 

The speculative philosopher and the scientific experi¬ 
menter will here be presented with food for meditation, 
cooked up in a pleasing and palatable form. 

What will be the effects when both parties adopt the 
same mode of warfare, or whether there will ever, 
under such circumstances, be any fighting at all, the 
second sight of the author has not reached. But that 
the old process of hammering brains out, the reader will 


STEAM AGAINST SAILS. 


55 


agree, with the “ old hero of Trafalgar,” to be “ used 
up,” and soon to be an ancient system, as feeble and 
ineffectual as the catapult and balista. 

England is assumed as one of the belligerent parties, 
not from any hostile feelings on the part of the writer to 
her renowned flag, or with a wish to encourage any 
such feelings on this side of the water against a nation 
with whom it is our interest to remain at peace, but 
selected as the most powerful in naval strength, to whom 
Neptune has for centuries paid the tribute due to her 
valour. It is the giant warrior of the ocean sinking 
beneath the arm of science. 


Bermuda, May 6, 1845. 

To the Rt. Hon. George Augustus Vansittart, Oxford. 

My dear George : 

You recollect your last words upon parting with me 
at Chatham—“ I envy you, with health, youth, spirit, an 
honourable station on board the finest ship afloat, and 
commanded by as noble a seaman as ever trod the deck 
of a man-of-war; the path of glory is open to you; it 
will be your own fault if you fail to acquire fortune 
and honour.” I have often since reflected upon those 
words, and my own pride and confidence when I sur¬ 
veyed our magnificent craft, whose gigantic and sym¬ 
metrical proportions were the admiration and astonish¬ 
ment of all who beheld her. I see her now, as she then 
lay at anchor amidst a fleet of men-of-war, like a 
towering oak in a forest of dwarf pines—her immense 
hull bristling with a quadruple array of one hundred and 


56 


STEAM AGAINST SAILS. 


twenty pieces of heavy artillery—her beautifully rounded 
stern and quarter galleries, over which waved that invin¬ 
cible banner, the acknowledged symbol of triumph in 
every sea—her clean run and noble bows—her bright 
decks and extended batteries, and a picked crew of a 
thousand thorough-bred tars, in perfect keeping with 
their floating castle. I believed, then, in the invinci¬ 
bility of that giant warrior, and that she could splinter 
to atoms whole navies, with one blast of her sulphurous 
breath. But, alas! George, you and I were under a 
sad delusion. We have been “ pinked” by a cockboat, 
—by a ship we could carry as a launch upon the 
booms. 

Heroes of St. Vincent, the Nile and Trafalgar ! awake 
from your sleep beneath the waves of your ancient seas ! 
Rise out of your red coralline tombs, and listen to a tale 
of the nineteenth century, as preposterous and incredible 
to you in your " by-gone” days of nautical warfare, as 
that the Victory, commanded by Nelson, should be cap¬ 
tured by a French revenue cutter; or that one of 
Homer’s heroes, thundering upon the plains of Troy, 
were toppled over his chariot by a pocket-pistol, popped 
off by a puny loafer. The Thunderer, with all her war¬ 
like panoply, is gone for ever. She lies, now, down 
upon the bottom of the deep sea. The dolphin and the 
boneeta glide silently over those decks, once peopled 
with a gallant band, nerved for a contest with storms or 
foes; and the ground shark rubs his slimy carcass 
against her gilded stern, or glares through the window’s 
of the admiral’s cabin. 

But to my story of this unlooked for disaster, which 
has crushed my present hopes of fortune and prefer- 


STEAM AGAINST SAILS. 


57 


ment, and makes me view my teakettle, now simmering 
before me, with fear and respect. 

Our ship, you know, was especially built and fitted 
out to crush the navy of those transatlantic repudiators, 
and, if necessary, to give them a touch of Hong Kong 
and Ning-Poo. This Oregon and Cuban war being 
however not exactly an opium question, it was necessary 
to strike a decisive blow. The prospect of a beautiful 
“ set-to” with one of their crack ships, the Pennsylvania, 
was the constant, theme for discussion amongst the 
middies. We all felt perfectly confident that in such a 
“ pretty fight,” we should bring that boasted ship home. 
We knew, however, there would be some warm work, 
for you know, George, they have got the old stuff in 
them, which it will take a century of crossing to root 
out. 

Full of enthusiasm and confidence in the bravery of 
our crew, strength of our ship, and the skill of the re- 
nowed seaman who commanded her, we hailed with 
joy the signal for our departure. The day after you left 
us for your severe Oxonian duties— i. e. a curricle and 
champagne—we bid adieu to the white shores of old 
Albion. The last gun had pealed from the bows of the 
Thunderer to summon all wanderers on board—the 
anchor was heaved from its slimy bed—and at the 
same moment that a cloud of white canvass dropped 
from every spar, “ Rule Britannia” was struck up by 
the band upon the quarter-deck. Slowly and majestic¬ 
ally she passed the populous shores, booming a salute at 
intervals from her middle-deck guns—ten thousand loyal 
hearts from the shores and numerous craft responded 
to that salute in hearty cheers. In a few hours our 

5 


58 


STEAM AGAINST SAILS. 


three-decker bowed gracefully to the first swell of old 
Ocean, and with a flowing sheet, foamed our way over 
the crested billows. 

Her sailing qualities proved to be superior to any ship 
in the service. She sailed like a clipper, and worked 
like a sloop, and in a short time we were in warm lati¬ 
tudes, with a clear sky above and the blue sea beneath, 
through which w T e ploughed with a steady and trackless 
speed. 

On the morning of the 21st of February, a sail w T as 
reported to be in sight, and orders promptly came 
from the state cabin to give chase. In a few hours we 
overhauled an American seventy-four gun ship, under 
the command of a gallant and distinguished officer. He 
manoeuvred his vessel admirably, but was so inferior to us 
in numerical force and weight of metal, that it was per¬ 
fect madness upon his part to contend with such fearful 
odds. He did, however, sustain a spirited fight for 
twenty minutes—commencing the action with three 
cheers, and delivering his broadsides with astonishing 
rapidity—and by some accident or another, for which I 
cannot account, managed to rake us twice, and did con¬ 
siderable damage, tripping up the heels of some fifty as 
fine fellows as ever pulled and hauled. An unlucky 
shot for him carried away his mainmast, which enabled 
our vessel to deliver a whole broadside from every tier 
of a three-decker. He w r ent down, bow foremost, before 
the smoke had blown away. There was nothing visible 
but his mizzen-peak, from which fluttered upwards for a 
moment the stripes and stars, and then disappeared 
beneath the boiling waters. He died gloriously, as a 


STEAM AGAINST SAILS. 


59 


brave seaman would wish to die, in his own ship and 
the flag of his country still flying. 

As soon as the excitement of the scene had passed 
away, the fate of that gallant fellow and his brave crew 
spread a gloom throughout our ship. The strength of 
our vessel was now apparent; every man on board was 
convinced that hand to hand there was nothing afloat 
that could withstand a well-told broadside from the 
Thunderer. But we are short-sighted mortals, my dear 
fellow; we little knew what was in store for us, and 
how soon a tenfold vengeance would be hurled upon us 
for the fate of that gallant crew. 

Another sail was reported from the forward look-out, 
and again our ship was cleaving aside the brine in 
pursuit. 

When first descried, the stranger was covered with 
white canvass, and looked like a tall pyramid of snow 
upon the dark blue horizon. Whilst admiring her 
appearance and the swell of her beautifully cut sails, 
you may imagine our astonishment upon the sudden 
disappearance of every sheet of canvass, from the deck 
to the pinnacle of her tapering masts—her yards all 
squared with mathematical precision, as if at anchor 
in port. 

“Well,” said the admiral, “ that’s the conduct of a 
prudent and discreet gentleman, and will save us some 
trouble, and perhaps some powder and shot, and shows 
a laudable economy in cotton canvass too. Mr. 
Hawser,” addressing the first officer, whilst he gazed 
long and intently atthe strange vessel that had just per¬ 
formed the singular manoeuvre before mentioned—“ that 
is the prettiest model of a ship for her size I have ever 


60 


STEAM AGAINST SAILS. 


seen. It is really a perfect picture. It does an old 
sailor’s heart good to gaze at such a craft. She has 
some queer points about her, too—” And then slowly 
pacing the deck, he muttered something about “ fine 
pleasure yacht—run into shallow waters—tender—” 
then suddenly turning to the officer—“ How fast are we 
going through the water ?” 

“ Twelve knots, sir.” 

“ Good! In fifteen minutes we shall be up with her. 
You will take possession of that ship, transfer the best of 
her crew, with the officers, to our own—and, do you 
hear, Mr. Hawser? bring her under the quarter—I shall 
have special use for her,”—and he descended to his 
cabin. 

The fifteen minutes had expired, and twenty to that, 
and yet the strange craft was not one inch nearer; on 
the contrary, the distance between the two vessels had 
seemingly increased. 

The officers were collected about in groups, talking 
in whispers, and pointing occasionally to the distant 
vessel, which still remained out of the reach of our guns, 
and every stitch of her canvass furled close to the yards. 

At this moment the admiral came upon deck, and as 
he leisurely walked aft, cast a glance over the quarter, 
then stopped for a moment, looked up and around with 
half-closed, inquiring eyes, then suddenly turning to the 
officer of the deck, sternly demanded why he had not 
obeyed orders. 

“ I told you , sir, to take possession of that ship and 
keep her on my quarter.” 

Hawser respectfully touched his hat, and stammered 
out that his commander would perceive, at a glance at 


STEAM AGAINST SAILS. 


61 


the chase, why it was out of his power to obey orders, 
as there she is, dead ahead, under bare poles, and rather 
farther off than when she took in all sail. 

“What do you say?” And he mounted the horse¬ 
block, and gazed long and intently through his glass at 
the object of general wonder. 

“ What is the report from aloft?” The report was 
briefly given, that the strange vessel was a beautiful ship, 
taunt rigged, man-of-war fashion, no guns, and going 
through the water two feet to our one. 

“ It is not a steamer, sir,” added the officer, “ as she 
has neither paddle-wheels nor smokepipe, but decks 
apparently clean fore and aft, as our own.” 

“ But there, sir, she is hauled up dead into the wind’s 
eye; look how she scatters the spray from her bows— 
it flies clear over the foreyard.” 

“ Brace forward the yards. Try her with as many 
of those guns as you can bring to bear.” 

Some twenty of the larboard forward guns were dis¬ 
charged in quick succession at the sailless stranger, who 
still continued her phantomlike progress, bounding over 
the seas, with the buoyancy of a cork and the speed of 
a race-horse, regardless of the salute which had dashed 
up the water within a few fathoms of her bright hull. 
The lower-deck guns were now cleared away, and as 
many more of the heavier ordnance slowly and delibe¬ 
rately discharged. The stranger was still out of reach, 
though one or two balls, fired at the greatest practicable 
elevation w r ere observed to drop into the water in her 
wake. The guns of every tier were tried in succession, 
but without effect. In the meantime the stranger, during 
all this uproar and cannonade on our part, had run far 
to windward, entirely out of reach of the heaviest cannon 


62 


STEAM AGAINST SAILS. 


from our ship. We then put about, and the same effort 
made with every gun from the whole starboard broad¬ 
side in succession. 

“ There goes her flags, sir, at the fore and mizzen 
peak, and a signal from the main.” 

“ What flag is it ?” 

“ The stripes and stars,” 

“ And can you make out that one upon the main V 9 

“ Yes sir:—Prince—, I think—aye, now it runs out 
clear in the breeze— Princeton .” 

“ Ah ha !” said the admiral, and he consulted a book 
with a blue cover, which was handed to him, “ why 
that’s the fellow that beat the Great Western a year or 
so back ; no wonder we could not overhaul him; you 
might as well attempt to give chase to a norther. Heave 
the ship to, perhaps that light-heeled gentleman may 
come within range; if not, bear away and let’s leave 
him.” 

The boatswain’s whistle resounded over our deck, and 
that manoeuvre was performed almost at the word. But 
the Princeton appeared in no way desirous to comply 
with our wishes, and had assumed a position directly to 
windward. An alteration had evidently taken place in 
her upper works, a portion of the bulwarks removed, 
and some huge engine, with the aid of our glasses, was 
perceptible upon her deck. 

A broadside was then discharged from our lower, 
middle and upper decks. We all watched the balls ri- 
cochetting from wave to wave, and saw them again and 
again, one after another, fall short some hundred fathoms 
of the mark. The head of the steamer was then turned 
towards us, and at about the place where our shot had 


STEAM AGAINST SAILS. 


63 


dropped harmlessly into the water, rounded to, and again 
resumed her former position, broadside on. 

At the same instant that an order was given to fill 
away, a sheet of flame burst forth from the deck of that 
infernal sailless craft, with a cloud of white rolling 
smoke, and simultaneously, with a roar like thunder, a 
ponderous ball of iron crashed through the side of our 
ship, tearing a hole in her sides that a Yorkshire farmer 
might drive a team through, ripping up the decks and 
timbers, scattering splinters in every direction, dismount¬ 
ing a half dozen guns, crippling the mainmast, and kill¬ 
ing and wounding fifty men. 

“ Don’t you think he has neared us ? It will never do 
to be idle this way.” 

And again were all our batteries discharged at the 
foe. The repercussion of that cannonade had scarcely 
ceased reverberating from wave to wave, when another 
crash, accompanied by the same terrific peal, like thun¬ 
der, came in abaft the foremast, passing through and 
through both sides of the ship, tearing up the transverse 
beams, and dismounting four heavy guns. The shrieks 
and groans of the wounded, seldom or ever heard or 
attended to in the din and excitement of battle, now rung 
through the vessel; but the silence of our own batteries, 
and the stern discipline of the crew, who stood to their 
stations with folded arms and compressed teeth, made 
every shriek and groan audible. The smoke from that 
terrible engine had now floated down upon us, and for 
a moment hovered over our decks as if to survey the 
scene of slaughter and destruction, ere another missile 
was sent to complete the havoc. 

The Princeton had now taken a position which would 


64 


STEAM AGAINST SAILS. 


throw her shot diagonally through our ship. The con¬ 
sequences from such a shot were at once appreciated by 
our commander, and prompt orders given to present our 
full broadside; but ere that could be done, it came, and took 
us directly under the starboard fore chains and passed 
out forward of the larboard mizzen chains, shattering the 
already crippled mainmast, which for a moment tottered, 
and then, with a rushing sound, as it cleaved the air in 
its fall, crashed over the side into the sea, with all its 
hamper, tearing up the deck, and killing many who had 
escaped the splinters strewn about by the mass of iron 
which hurtled through the ship. Two hundred and fifty 
men were killed and wounded by that last blow. The 
middle gun deck, from the foremast to the mizen, was a 
perfect wreck; the shrieks of the wounded and dying 
were appalling. I have seen less havoc and slaughter 
on board a ninety, after two hours’ work, side by side, 
with an antagonist of the same weight of metal. In a 
fair fight, blow for blow, the blood is up and kept warm, 
and death, in all its horrible and ghastly shapes, is dis¬ 
regarded ; but to be plugged into like a floating target, 
with no chance to return the salute, is horrible; and yet 
our poor fellows, as I said, behaved nobly; not a mur¬ 
mur, though it was apparent to all, we were at the mercy 
of a foe who might demolish us at a single blow, or de¬ 
liberately experiment upon our shattered hull. We 
watched with feverish anxiety for the next flash. No 
one knew where it would strike. For my own part, I 
hoped it would take us between wind and water, and 
finish the business.* 

* This sketch was written some time before the unfortunate accident 
on board the Princeton at Washington, and however much we may de 


STEAM AGAINST SAILS. 


65 


41 Here it comes—there’s the flash—look out, boys!” 
and the next moment it passed over our heads, a few 
feet above the hammock-netting, with a noise like the 
clatter of ten thousand topsail sheet-blocks. Nearly a 
mile to leeward it dashed up into the air a pyramid of 
foam and spray as high as the maintop of a frigate; then, 
after scooping up some tons of brine, and crushing it 
into vapour, sank into the bosom of the deep, to communi¬ 
cate with its bloody associates, that had done such havoc 
to our ill-fated ship. 

Whether this was intentional or not we could not then 
say. I, for one, confess I felt grateful for the “ miss.” 
As the others had been plumpers, we had no reason to 
believe otherwise than that it was a merciful warning, 
which our foe had been pleased to afford us. 

The breeze had now freshened, and with it a sea had 
got up, which made the Thunderer roll heavily. The 
guns broke loose from their shattered carriages, and 
were crushing the bodies of the slain and wounded. 
Several explosions of powder had taken place below, and 
the alarm of fire was sounded. Altogether, the scene 
upon the first, middle and third gun decks was one which 
will never be effaced from my memory. 

The old admiral still remained at his post, giving his 
orders with the greatest coolness, occasionally muttering 
to himself— 

“ Yes, I believe the question is settled—there is no more 
glory in naval battles. In future we shall have to draw 

plorc that event, it has, in the opinions of all, proved nothing, but that 
the piece was defective : the same accident has occurred repeatedly on 
board our mcn-of-war. A gun burst on board the Frigate President, by 
which Commodore Rodgers was wounded and some ten men killed. 


66 


STEAM AGAINST SAILS. 


lots for the first shot. But, as long as my name is old 
Bluewater, curse me if I’ll be the first to strike the flag 
of one of Her Majesty’s first-rates to a boat with one 
gun, though that be as big as ten of Queen Anne’s pocket- 
pieces.” 

Nearly ten minutes had now elapsed since the last 
shot, which had passed over us, and kicked up such a 
dust under our lee; and now the Princeton had taken a 
position which would rake us fore and aft. Every mo¬ 
ment we expected to hear that enormous ball of iron 
crushing through the stern, when she came down upon 
us like a steed that had long been checked with a power¬ 
ful curb. Our ship was crippled and no longer obeyed 
the helm, and rolled heavily in the trough of the sea, at 
every heave shipping tons of water through the shattered 
sides. We were sinking. All hands were now engaged 
endeavouring to repair, in some measure, the damage, 
when our terrible foe swept down like a hawk, within a 
hundred fathoms of our stern. 

“ What ship is that ?” said an officer, through a 
trumpet. 

There was no reply upon our part. Hurried orders 
were given to run aft some heavy guns. 

“ For the honour of the flag which still waves over us, 
let us give him one shot before we go down,” said the 
old admiral. 

“Is it your intention to continue this contest ?” uttered 
the same clear voice, “ if it may be called such when the 
fighting is all on one side. I have come down, sir, to 
offer you any assistance you may require. I sent three 
or four messengers on board of you, and one over your 
heads. I hope the gallant commander of that once 


STEAM AGAINST SAILS. 


67 


magnificent vessel will see the necessity of sparing the 
lives of his brave people. If your flag is not struck in 
ten minutes, it will be my painful duty to send a shot 
into your stern window, which I am free to confess will 
split you in twain, like a ripe water-melon. You will 
pardon the figure, but I am a plain sailor, and a Jersey- 
man ; that fruit is familiar to me.” 

He then gracefully touched his hat and waved his 
bright trumpet. As if by magic, his matchless craft 
quickly whirled round, and in less time than I have taken 
in the description, was a mile from us, as if impelled 
through the water by the will alone of her commander. 

A council of war was now held upon the quarter-deck, 
and after hearing all the reports of the condition of the 
ship, and being convinced that she would not float an 
hour longer, it was finally determined, though with great 
reluctance, and terrible heartburnings, that the flag 
should be struck. There were four hundred killed and 
wounded, out of a crew of twelve hundred brave fellows, 
when we first fell in with this steamer. It would have 
been worse than cruelty to sacrifice the lives of the gal¬ 
lant fellows, as a target to be cut down by a foe from 
whom we could neither fly nor bring to close quarters. 
On my way from the execution of my melancholy duty, 
I passed an old tar, whose legs were dreadfully shattered 
by one of the heavy guns which had broken loose. 

“ How goes it, Jack?” 

“ Well, your honour; I believe Pve got my discharge 
in full; but, before I go, just tell an old shipmate where 
all those three-deckers were that have been hammering 
at us, tripping up the heels of some three hundred jovial 
fellows, knocking ten parts into one, besides making a 


68 


STEAM AGAINST SAILS. 


brig of a first rate ; for, blast me, if all of us, han’t been 
blinking like injens through the ports, but I’m blovved if 
I ever laid eyes on any thing but the maintop of the 
Thunderer. Thank you for tipping an old salt a flipper, 
just as he’s going to slip his wind ; but it would greatly 
relieve my mind if—” 

Death had laid his cold hand upon poor Jack. He felt 
he must obey the summons; and then raising his bloody 
hand, he murmured a faint “ Hurra! for old England,” 
and expired without a groan. 

Our flag was struck just as the fourth bell tolled. The 
Princeton came down, whirled round our immense and 
shattered hull, as if to survey the havoc she had done. 
It was like the winged eagle hovering round the carcass 
of the dying lion. 

In a few minutes, the boats of both vessels were out ; 
and in a short time, all hands were transferred to the 
Princeton. Soon after the last boat-load had quitted the 
sinking ship, she keeled over—settled down by the stern 
—a column of water burst up from her decks and spouted 
into the air to a great height, and ere it fell again in 
showers, the Thunderer man-of-war had disappeared 
beneath the dark waters, which now rolled unbroken, 
where, but a few moments before, had floated a model 
of nautical strength and beauty. 

It is impossible for me, under my present state of mind, 
to give you a description of the wonderful ship which 
destroyed our three-decker. At some future time I will 
do so. We have been treated with every kind considera¬ 
tion. The old Admiral has become a perfect convert to 
all the theories of our gallant captor, whose vessel is as 


STEAM AGAINST SAILS. 


69 


remarkable for comfort and convenience as efficiency in 
battle. 

I have taken passage in a packet-ship for England, 
and hope soon again to take you by the hand, where we 
will discuss these matters over a cool decanter. 

Such is my horror of steamers, however, that it will 
be a long while before I shall look upon one without re¬ 
calling to mind the scenes I witnessed on board the ill- 
fated Thunderer. Truly yours, 

Fitz Roy Fitz Gubbins. 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS BETWEEN HOME 

AND CHINA. 

PART I. 

Let landsmen praise the shore—the sea—the sea— 

So bright and pure and varied,—give to me ; 

In calms so smooth and lustrous, and in storms 
So wild its motions, and so grand its forms. 

Each moment wakes a new and thrilling grace, 

As glow successive charms on beauty’s speaking face. 

Anon. 

THE INDIAN OCEAN AFTER A STORM-SCENES ON THE DECK 

OF A MERCHANTMAN—CAPE PIGEONS AND ALBATROSSES- 

A WHALE-DESCRIPTION OF THE BIRDS OF THESE SEAS- 

A MYSTERIOUS VISITER—SCENE BETWEEN A MONKEY AND 

THE MYSTERIOUS VISITER-STRANGE APPEARANCE OF THE 

SEA AT MIDNIGHT. 

Our gallant little ship had behaved most nobly 
throughout the late storm, and we were now quietly 
but quickly gliding along under all sail, impelled by one 
of those charming and comfortable breezes that a sailor 
loves, that keeps all full, tight as a board, and steadies 
the ship, as she divides the dark blue wave with her 
cleaving bow, and scatters it aside in sheets of milk- 
white foam—hissing, boiling, and effervescing as it 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


71 


rushes past her bright side, marking her track for many 
a long mile upon the waste of waters. 

The accustomed duties of the ship were renewed, all 
were busy at their respective labours. The carpenter, 
a tall, raw-boned, methodical fellow, whose equanimity 
was never disturbed by calms or storms, had again 
rigged out his bench, and while whistling his favourite 
air, made the ribands fly from his jack-plane. The mate, 
an old whaler, and as fine a fellow as ever trod the deck 
of a merchantman, by the name of Gardner, was scan¬ 
ning with critical eye the spars and sails aloft, occa¬ 
sionally glancing at the compass, or gruffly demanding 
of the helmsman, “ how’s your head, sir?” to which 
polite inquiry, that individual would reply—not that it 
was better or worse, but that his head was “ no’ no’th 
east, half east,” or the like, according to the course of 
the ship. 

The captain, who had never left the deck during the 
late blow, was making up for lost sleep and fatigue in 
his berth below, whilst my fellow-passengers and self 
were industriously engaged with hook and line, endea¬ 
vouring by these appliances to entice on board some of 
the numerous birds that hovered round the vessel. 
Sometimes these laudable efforts were rewarded by a 
Cape pigeon, petrel, or albatross, getting entangled in 
the numerous lines dragging astern. Great were the 
rejoicings then, and cries of “ hold on,” “ take care,” 
“ haul in,” until we had safely deposited our captive upon 
deck, when a careful inspection of his plumage was 
made, and a wondering where he came from last, what 
island he inhabited, and whether he was married or 
single, and had left a Mrs. Stormy Petrel at home, and 


72 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


a family of little Stormy Petrels. Sometimes the ques¬ 
tion would arise, whether we had not got the old woman 
on board instead of the gentleman. We would then 
start him overboard again, troubling him or her with a 
line tied to the feet, which would sometimes get entan¬ 
gled with some of his aerial companions, and down they 
would “ tumble headlong into the billows below.’ , 

“ Sail ho !”—said a small shrill voice, as if from the 
clouds. 

This startling enunciation came from “ the boy Bill,” 
—who had been sent aloft to clear away one of the 
royals,—a sturdy little fellow and a great pet on board, 
and whose duty being like his namesake of Black-eyed 
Susan notoriety, “ high on the topmast head to climb,” 
was decidedly the most dangerous on board. 

“ Where away V 9 quickly responded Gardner. 

“ Two points on the starboard bow, sir,” replied the 
small voice from mid-air. 

Gardner scanned the horizon with a keen glance, then 
turning to us, who were on the tiptoe of expectation, 
with a smile and jocose air, cried out. 

“ You, sir, upon the fore-royal there V 9 

“ Ay, ay, sir.” 

“ What’s her rig V 9 

“ Can’t see her now, sir.” 

“ Look sharp dead to leeward, you scamp you,”—-and 
then pointing to the direction last spoken of, he said, 
“ there she spouts—and a first-rate sperm it is. I have 
seen the time, old fellow,” (soliloquizing with his eyes 
directed to the object,) “ when a dozen boats well manned 
would have been skimming over those waves to get at 
your blubber.” 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


73 


About two or three miles off, a white jet of spray 
flew into the air, resembling very much a sail at a great 
distance, the next moment his huge carcass heaved 
above the water, and slowly sunk from our view. It 
was a large spermaceti whale, the first we had seen, 
though we had now been on shipboard more than two 
months, and had traversed both the Northern and South¬ 
ern Atlantics, and part of the Indian Ocean. The birds 
deserted us for this new visiter; the track of the whale 
was indicated by the flock which hovered in his wake, 
but soon after one by one they relurned to us, and re¬ 
sumed their eternal gyrations and balancings round our 
ship, occasionally tipping the wave with their ever un¬ 
tiring wing, then soaring aloft and circling the vessel in 
graceful and rapid sweeps. Some of these birds had 
been so long in company with us, that the sailors had 
nick-named them. One large black fellow, especially, 
who had a feather out of place, as if dangling by the 
skin, was dubbed “Old Quill-driver.” I invariably looked 
about for him early in the morning, and was sure to see 
him, and had done so for three weeks past. Far, far from 
any land, do these animals require no rest? have they 
no home? We made acquaintance with “Quill-driver” 
off the Cape of Good Hope, at least three hundred miles 
to the southward of it, for we had given the Cape “ a 
wide berth,” and now we were not far from the coast of 
New Holland, more than a thousand miles of longitude; 
and there he was sailing about, sometimes ahead, now 
astern, then dropping into the water head foremost to 
pick up something that had caught his eye, again upon 
the wing as fresh as ever. Throughout that terrible 
6 


74 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


gale which had raged for three days and nights, he was 
our constant companion. 

Never shall I forget the grandeur of the scene on the 
second day. Those magnificent rollers, known only to 
the Indian Ocean, more than a mile from the summit of 
one wave to the other. At one moment you are upon 
the top of a high mountain wave crested with foam, the 
next, scudding along a dark blue valley, as it were be¬ 
calmed, compared with the fury of the wind which 
howls through the strained cordage when upon the sum¬ 
mit. So long as the wind keeps up, there is not much 
danger in these seas, these immense waves seldom 
breaking, but a sudden calm would be fatal. 

During the whole of that storm, “ Quill-driver” was 
there, perfectly at home, skimming along the surface of 
the abyss of wave, to avoid the fury of the wind, occa¬ 
sionally abandoning himself to the gale, as if in sport, 
before which he would sweep and dart like an arrow 
shot from a bow, then wheeling round with quivering 
wing, stand as steadily before that tremendous blast as if 
fixed to some invisible perch. The night succeeding a 
dead calm, “ Quill-driver” was missing, and we never 
laid eyes upon him again. 

Talking of birds, I may here mention a queer incident 
which occurred after we had passed the Straits of 
Sunda, and were in the China Seas. A white bird, 
apparently with tired wing, fluttered for a moment round 
the ship’s head, and alighted upon the bowsprit. It 
suffered itself to be taken without the slightest resistance, 
and was brought aft, apparently fast asleep, and was 
placed upon the spare booms on the long-boat, and by 
general consent remained there undisturbed. 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


75 


There was something so confiding in the manner of 
the visit, such apparent utter prostration, the appeal was 
irresistible. The story was told at a glance; “ I am 
weary and sorely wounded, all I ask is rest for my tired 
wing—for many days I’ve been abroad upon the waters, 
and there was no land.” 

His body was a pure white, and about the size of a 
tame pigeon, but his most striking feature was an uncon¬ 
scionable long and heavy bill, almost twice the length of 
his own body. The renowned and classic nose of 
Slaukenbergius would sink before it into comparative 
insignificance. So entirely disproportionate to the appa¬ 
rent strength of the proprietor, it was a wonder how it 
could be carried ; and for what purpose it was applied by 
the owner, remains an undeveloped mystery. Various 
and entertaining were the speculations upon this inte¬ 
resting subject by the bystanders. In addition to this 
phenomenon, upon the snow-white breast of this 
“ observed of all observers,” there were stains of blood, 
fresh and as yet uncongealed. Where did he get that 
wound ? what a bill! One drily suggested the proba¬ 
bility of his being a collector, and that some vagabond 
“ albatrosses,” “ noddies,” and dissipated “ boobies” had 
been feathering their nests at the expense of his 
employer, and upon presentation of that awful bill, they 
to a man had turned upon him, and by a sort of Lynch 
law endeavoured to settle his account for ever. 

The mate observed he was “ all sham, with a heavy 
bill of lading and no stowage.” The carpenter delibe¬ 
rately took out his foot rule, whistling the while, measured 
it, gazed intently at it for a moment, shook his head, and 
was again whistling and peeling oft' ribbons with his 


76 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


jack-plane. Dreary and unpleasant associations floated 
into memory of old tavern bills as yet unsettled at New- 
buryport. 

The boatswain, a tough old sea dog and thorough¬ 
bred sailor and man-of-war’s-man, by the name of 
Hanse, born at Philadelphia near the Swedes’ Church, 
and claiming to be a descendant of the ancient Swedes, 
and for that reason a particular favourite of mine, mut¬ 
tered and growled out something about “ a d-d queer 

rig, all bowsprit and no hull.” Upon being questioned 
as to his opinion of the matter, after replenishing his jaws 
with an enormous quid of tobacco, and hitching up his 
trowsers, he oracularly declared his opinion without any 
qualification that “ that ar chap was broke down because 
he was too much by the head;” then suddenly clapping 
his hands to his mouth to make a speaking-trumpet of 
them, he roared out, “Bird ahoy, bird ahoy, I say !” He 
waited a moment or two, but observing no indication on 
the part of him of the bill to respond to this delicate and 
truly appropriate application, turned to us, and with a 
melancholy smile observed, “ he’s done up,” and then, as 
he rolled oft', indignantly and vehemently declaimed 
against “ any craft’s sailing under such a trim, and such 
a thundering Ynarlinspike' fished on to his forehead.” In 
the mean lime, the tired stranger with the mysterious 
spot of blood upon his snow r -white breast, and portentous 
bill, remained with closed eyes, apparently fast asleep, 
and perfectly oblivious to all that was passing around 
him; and so he remained during all that day and night, 
immovable and lifeless as a prepared specimen by an 
ornithologist. 

At Java Head, the ship was surrounded by Indian 



SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


77 


canoes filled with fowls, fruit, birds, and monkeys ; every 
man on board had become the proprietor of one or more 
of those last mentioned animals: the ship was thronged 
with these vivacious gentry. The inmost recesses of 
the long-boat, stowed amidships and filled with barrels 
and old junk, was their grand retreat, from which they 
occasionally made sallies upon the surrounding districts, 
and when hotly pursued by their foes, fled to these fast¬ 
nesses, and though poked at with sticks and other formi¬ 
dable weapons, yet seldom with any success. 

Frequent were the complaints of Jack, that one of 
these long-tailed grinning land-lubbers had run off with 
his knife or tobacco-box: and many vain attempts 
to force the party to submission or restoration of the pur¬ 
loined property by means of those gentle appliances 
aforementioned, accompanied by divers amiable ejacu¬ 
lations, in which the souls of that particular monkey and 
all other monkeys, long-tailed or short-tailed, were con¬ 
signed to everlasting perdition. In the meantime, the 
chattering delinquents could be heard chuckling over 
their spoils, a hundred little sharp eyes peering out from 
every crevice, and with impudent grins, hurling back 
defiance to their adversaries, in their own peculiar style 
of eloquence. 

There was one of these depredators particularly 
remarkable for his boldness, skill and dexterity, the 
acknowledged leader of the whole gang of outlaws. The 
crew were all engaged forward; the steward, their 
natural enemy, was preparing his dishes; the cook, busy 
at his galley, whilst the captain and mate were intently 
engaged in taking observations. A general silence pre¬ 
vailed, occasionally broken by the flapping of the sails, 


78 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


the creaking of the rudder head, and the cry of “ mark” 
by the mate, to minute the observation for the benefit of 
the assistant party below examining the chronometer. 
At this moment I saw our vivacious friend of the long¬ 
boat emerge from his hiding-place, and after making a 
careful survey of the premises, commence an examina¬ 
tion of the person of him of the bill. The scrutiny was 
long and intense; twisting his body into every variety of 
shape, now scanning the figure on one side, then on the 
other, then scratching his own back, as if under a 
momentary hesitation of what he should be at next. At 
last, emboldened perhaps by the apparent lifelessness of 
the object of his scrutiny, he thrust his queer little phiz 
close to the head of the bird ; at this moment, not only to 
my astonishment but evidently to the amazement of pug, 
an eye slowly opened, and such a piercer ! concentrating 
its rays full upon pug, who appeared to be fascinated by 
its lustre ; but as the figure yet remained perfectly immov¬ 
able, cunning, mischief, or natural audacity got the better 
of any awe which that eye may have inspired, and he 
commenced a very unceremonious assault, first upon the 
bill, then the legs; then observing the blood upon the 
breast, he proceeded with great professional skill to 
inspect the wound, when the awful bill was slowly raised 
on high, and descended slap upon the back of the officious 
examiner, with the force of a pick-axe, accompanied 
by a shrill scream, which startled every one on board. 
Pug lay stretched out as if struck dead; whilst the 
mysterious operator spread his wings, soared aloft, 
wheeled off to leeward, for a while visible like a white 
speck upon the blue expanse, and then faded from our 
view for ever. But long ere this the monkey had reco- 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


79 


vered from the first shock; and was writhing about in 
an agony of fright and pain, screaming and chattering, 
and tumbling over head and heels, under the impression, 
no doubt, that the glaring eye was watching the chance, 
with uplifted beak, to give the coup-de-grace to his 
small existence. Finally he scuttled off to his retreat, 
and did not show his face for several days; but ever 
after, when capering about or engaged in some mis¬ 
chief, an imitation by any one of that awful scream 
uttered by the mysterious stranger when he planted 
the bill into his back, caused the little fellow to make 
all sorts of grimaces expressive of disgust and terror, 
and away he’d scuttle to the hiding-place. 

The incident I have related was a delightful episode 
in our monotonous life. And though a small matter, yet 
none but he who has been confined on board a ship for 
some months, and the greater part of that time out of 
sight of land, can truly appreciate its value. 

******** 

We had all retired to our respective berths, and I was 
dreaming of home and my mother’s cheerful fireside, 
when I was suddenly awakened by an unusual tramping 
over head. Coils of ropes as if hurriedly cast off from 
the pins by the sailors, clattered upon the deck. The 
ship, too, had altered her course, and evidently was 
under easy sail, gently rolling from side to side. I con¬ 
cluded a squall was coming up; for we had now become 
familiarized to almost every manoeuvre, and could tell 
the meaning of any movement on the deck in the night; 
yet I recollected how perfectly clear was the atmosphere 
when we went below, without the slightest indication of 
a squall or even a change of wind. I was about to turn 


80 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


myself again to sleep, when I heard the mate say, “How’s 
your head now,” and the answer of the helmsman. A 
silence prevailed for a few moments, which was inter¬ 
rupted by the voice of the captain crying out, “ Heave 
again!” The next moment I heard the lead plunge into 
the sea; I leaped out of my berth ; the cabin was illumi¬ 
nated by the reflection of a pale light through the cabin 
windows. Upon reaching the deck, imagine my asto¬ 
nishment at finding every thing in disorder; the ropes all 
cast off and strewn upon the deck, the maintopsail 
aback, and the low r er sails clued up; the ship was 
stationary, whilst the captain and mate were standing on 
the bulwarks gazing upon the sea ; which was as white 
as the purest milk.* 

“ What the d-1 is it?’ said one; “ there was no 

bottom with two hundred fathoms.” It had the strangest 
and most unnatural appearance, and created those in¬ 
describable sensations one always feels on suddenly be¬ 
holding an object entirely out of our preconceived no¬ 
tions of the order of nature. 

As far as the eye could stretch, from the mast-head, 
this unnatural appearance extended. Accustomed as 
we had been for months, to the dark blue ocean, the 
effect was startling and impressive; it was strange and 
unaccountable. In vain did w r e perplex ourselves with 
a solution of the mystery. The atmosphere was un¬ 
clouded, the magnificent constellation of the cross spar¬ 
kled with its usual brilliancy, beside its strange dusky 


* Since the publication of the above, the author has been informed by 

Captain R-, a veteran and skilful China trader, and who has made a 

dozen voyages from Philadelphia to Canton, that more than once he has 
witnessed the same phenomena. 



SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


81 


companion, the cloud of Magellan. All was as usual, 
except the sea; we were sailing in an ocean of milk as 
white as a field of snow. This phenomenon continued 
for nearly an hour, when we passed out of it, the sea 
resumed its usual colour, and we were again upon our 
course. The oldest sailor on board had never seen 
the like ; it remains unaccounted for. I had taken the 
precaution to fill a bucket with some of the water; but 
upon examining it next morning, I could perceive no 
difference between that and the ordinary sea water. 

Afterwards, at Canton, when dining in company with 
the celebrated Captain Ross, this circumstance was 
mentioned; he said he had seen something of the same 
kind once himself, and thought as we did that he was 
on a white sand bank, but that he could get no bottom 
with several hundred of fathoms. Be it what it may, I 
never shall forget the appearance of the sea that night, 
and the strange undefinable feelings it inspired. 


PART II. 

Land ho! the watchful topman cries aloud, 

Land ho ! re-echoes back the eager crowd; 

All spring aloft, with keen inquiring eye 
To mark where ocean mingles with the sky— 

At first it seems a faint, uncertain haze, 

That mocks the sight—then meets the eager gaze— 

Retires, returns, until a nearer view 
Reveals an outline of unvaried blue. 

St. Helena. 

SUNRISE AT SEA—LAND HO !-DESCRIPTION OF A SHIP UNDER 

FULL SAIL, AND A SPANKING BREEZE—SEA SICKNESS- 

THE COAST OF JAVA—MISTAKE WINDROW BAY FOR THE 

STRAITS OF SUNDA-ESCAPE SHIPWRECK-MALAY PROAS- 

MASSACRE OF THE NATIVES BY AN ARMED BARQUE. 

Upon approaching any of the numerous islands, how 
anxiously did we inspect the chart for its precise posi¬ 
tion, and examine every book in our possession which 
treated of the navigation of this part of the globe, for 
any description of the interesting spot. At dawn of 
day I was upon deck; the gallant Rosalie was cleaving 
her way under a spanking breeze. The atmosphere 
was as clear as crystal; Aurora had tinged the eastern 
horizon with a soft mellow light, which was beautifully 
contrasted with the dark blue sea, gemmed with innu- 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


83 


merable jets of milk-white foam, that crested every 
wave. Suddenly a bright ray streamed up almost to 
the zenith; star after star gradually faded away; from a 
soft yellow, the east w*as deepened to a bright orange, 
and the god of day leaped forth from the bosom of the 
ocean, gilding the summit of every glad wave that 
danced and sparkled and clapped their hands w*ith joy. 

Who is there of God’s creatures, at such a moment, 
that would not bow down and inwardly adore his Crea¬ 
tor? and what heart would not beat in fervent acknow¬ 
ledgment of His glory ? I felt it all, and mutely bowed 
before that magnificent shrine. But mine was a season 
when no one impression long chained the attention. 
With what unalloyed enjoyment did I then gaze upon 
the thousand novelties that daily occurred and delighted 
me. Full of youth, spirit and animation, my blood 
coursed through my veins with healthful rapidity. The 
elasticity of limb had not yet been crippled by disease, 
nor my heart and mind seared by affliction ; every thing 
was couleur de rose. I w’as neither burthened with the 
cares of life, nor oppressed with gloomy thoughts of 
provision for the future. 

Frank and manly in the expression of every feeling, 
I imagined all to be governed by the same impulse. It 
was not till late in after life, experience and closer con¬ 
tact with the busy world dispelled those illusions. O, 
happy days of youth ! with what melancholy pleasure do 
I now review* thy joyous existence. 

“ Land ho!”—said a voice from the fore-topgallant 
mast-head. 

“ Where away?” shouted Gardner. 

“Two points upon starboard bow, sir.” 


84 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


“ High or low land V f 

“ It looms high, sir.” 

“ That’s it,” said the mate; and as he came aft trium¬ 
phantly exclaimed, “ Huzza for my Lunar against all the 
chronometers in the world.” 

In vain did I scan the horizon in the direction in¬ 
dicated ; I could see nothing like land, nothing but a small 
white cloud or two at a great distance; and what did the 
fellow mean by saying “ it loomed high ?” 

“You won’t see it for two hours yet,” said Gardner, 
clapping his hand upon my shoulder; “those clouds are 
land clouds though ; look at them well, that you may 
know them again; we sailors can distinguish them at a 
glance.” 

I hurried down the companion-way, and found my 
fellow-passengers, and Captain M., commander of the 
Rosalie,—as fine a seaman as ever sailed on board a 
merchantman, and as kind and good as skilful,—all busy 
with chart and compass. Again we were upon deck; 
something to disturb the monotony of the voyage was 
about to occur, beyond the usual daily incidents; some¬ 
thing to look at and talk of besides the winds and 
waves. 

I thought I could perceive, after intently gazing upon 
the horizon, something that bore the semblance of a faint 
blue cloud ; then it would vanish, again reappear, but 
nothing definable. 

I climbed the bowsprit, and amused myself with look¬ 
ing back upon our gallant craft as she gracefully rose 
upon the swell, rearing her bright prow high above the 
water as if to spring over the wave, then plunging deep 
into the brine, ploughing it aside in a cataract of foam. 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


85 


Upon the bowsprit of a fine ship, with every sail draw¬ 
ing, it is a gallant sight to observe her motions, as she 
divides the opposing fluid. There is something so in¬ 
vigorating in the bounding motion of the vessel as she 
springs beneath you like an impatient steed, something 
so soothing also, in the unceasing roar of the torrent; a 
conviction that you are rapidly progressing on your 
journey, which from any other part of the ship is not so 
perceptible. But to enjoy this, the passenger must be 
familiarized to the sea. He must have passed through 
all the horrid ordeals a landsman invariably suffers, and 
almost forget the feel of terra firma. Mine was a severe 
one : twenty days’ sea-sickness without the ability to 
swallow any thing but soup, whilst the mates and cap¬ 
tain w r ere devouring pounds of beef and pork with the 
most disgusting self-complacency. I looked upon them 
as so many cannibals; all this too, with no sort of sym¬ 
pathy for your sufferings ; on the contrary, your agony 
is to them a source of amusement. There is but one 
being to whom you can confide your miseries, to whom 
you can call for aid, and that is the steward—you are 
again in all the imbecility of childhood, “ mewling and 
puking in the nurse’s armsyou cry to him and for 
him, day and night—he is your only friend. I never 
heard that he ever had any other name. I believe he was 
born on board ship and christened Steward. Even he, 
kind-hearted fellow as he was, would sometimes nearly 
throw me into convulsions with some well-meant but 
horrid suggestions about the propriety of tasting a leeile 
lobscouse, or sea pie, which proposition had the same 
effect upon me, that I should suppose the offer of a 
tumbler of water would have upon the nervous system 


86 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


of a patient in the last stages of hydrophobia. All this 
you must pass through and more; you will detest the 
sight of the sea, and yet be compelled fifty times a day, 
horridly to gape over the ship’s side, with straining eyes, 
at its undulating surface, which looks like an unfathom¬ 
able dose of salts and soda. It is a sensation which 
cannot be described ; such a total prostration of strength, 
such collapsing, sinking, and turning inside out, like a 
damp kid glove: there is but one feeling of intense 
misery, and I really believe that if they had told me the 
ship was foundering upon a rock, I should have rejoiced 
at the prospect of her being still, at all events, for a few 
moments before I expired. 

After you have been long at sea, there is a strange 
undefinable fear upon approaching land, especially in 
remote regions, only occasionally visited by the enter¬ 
prising navigator on his way to some commercial mart. 
In the broad ocean, a sailor is always ready for a conflict 
with wind or wave. He there relies upon the faith of 
his nautical skill and the powers of his ship; but what 
sunken rocks and yet unexplored shoals, may not lay 
treacherously in his path upon an unfrequented coast! 
Suchw r ere my feelings upon approaching the great Asiatic 
Archipelago, and I believe the like sensations existed, 
though not expressed, in the hearts of all on board. The 
land was now clearly visible to my inexperienced eye— 
an undulating line of mountain peaks and rounded hills. 
With what delight did I gaze upon it—the first view to 
me of a new world. How I should love to traverse those 
shores, scale the mountain-side, and penetrate the solitary 
glen, where nature in all her primeval beauty reigns in 
solitary grandeur, as yet untrodden by the foot of man. 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


87 


The most uninteresting coast in the world, in point of 
scenery, is that of North America. Upon approaching 
it any where between Maine and Florida, the trees are 
the first objects that are seen. If it were not for the re¬ 
gularity of the soundings, the approach would be ex¬ 
ceedingly dangerous. The coast of South America, with 
its magnificent mountains, twelve thousand feet high, 
rising at once from the bosom of the ocean, can be seen 
by the approaching navigator at a great distance. So 
it is also upon the coast of all the islands of the Sunda 
group. Java, which we were now approaching, is one 
of the most magnificent islands in respect to scenery in 
the world. The mountains are clothed to the summits 
with the richest vegetation, which descend sometimes to 
the water’s edge. Groves of gigantic palms, the pal¬ 
metto, and the graceful cocoa, wave their branches over 
the sea that bathes their trunks. 

A heavy long swell now was setting in towards the 
shore from the Indian Ocean, thundering amongst the 
rocks, leaping up the craggy precipice, and pouring 
down its sides in a perfect cataract of milk-white froth 
and foam. The trees bent and bowed to the retiring 
flood and sprung again to their upright position, again to 
be threatened by the succeeding roller. Every point 
and cape, and inlet, teemed with interest, and presented 
every variety of form, changing with the advancing mo¬ 
tion of the vessel. Far above us, capped with clouds, 
was a magnificent mountain, frowning in gloomy gran¬ 
deur upon the scene. As we passed a point of land, 
a waterfall burst upon our view—a mountain torrent 
leaping from a precipice of dark rock, prone into the 
sea ; we clapped our hands with ecstasy. It was all 


88 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


that was wanted to give a finish to the magnificent pros¬ 
pect. It was a scene of perfect enchantment. I was 
wrapped in wonder and delight: it was worth travelling 
ten thousand thousand miles to see. At this moment 
my attention was attracted to the officers of the ship, 
who appeared to be in doubt and uncertainty. 

“ Mr. Gardner,” cried the captain, who was pacing 
with hurried and uneasy step the quarter-deck, “ you 
have been here before?” 

“Yes, sir—once in the William White, and once in 
the Tea Plant.” 

“ Which do you call the Friar’s Rock, and w r hich the 
Cap?” 

“ There’s the Friar to the right,” pointing to a huge 
rock, that looked like a colossal monk in full canonicals; 
“ you can run within biscuit’s throw of it. There’s the 
entrance to the straits.” We passed the point, and swept 
into a bay; the water suddenly became green as grass; 
a large yellow and green speckled snake was lazily float¬ 
ing by the ship, but ere I could cry “ look there !” within 
twenty yards of our starboard bow, an immense dark 
rock heaved into sight: the water poured off of its slip¬ 
pery surface,—a coming roller engulfed it from our view. 
We were now becalmed, and the ship rolled regardless 
of the helm. A current was evidently rapidly setting 
into this bay. The surf, w'hich was not more than three 
cable-lengths from the ship, pealed upon the beach with 
the roar of thunder. 

Every one was now alive to the impending danger. 
“ Hard a port, with your helm, sir !—hard up, I say,” 
cried the captain. “ Clear away the anchor—move— 
jump, I say—get out a boat—clew down the jib—let 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


89 


fall the spanker,” and many other commands were ut¬ 
tered in quick succession. At this moment, as if from 
a rift in the mountain, a stiff breeze whistled through the 
cordage. “ Brace round those yards ! hold on to every 
thing !” The Rosalie whirled round before the blast and 
scud before it in the same direction she had entered— 
we were again in deep water, and escaped from an im¬ 
minent peril. We had mistaken Winrow Bay for the 
Straits of Sunda, which has all the appearance of the 
entrance to the Straits, and would deceive any one. 
When we afterwards entered the Straits 1 was parti¬ 
cularly struck with the similarity of the land marks. 
But I never shall forget that awful grim rock that took 
a peep at the Rosalie en passant , nor the thundering of 
that terrific surf. 

The scenery of the eastern coast of Java is indescri¬ 
bably beautiful; but the prospect of having your ship’s 
bottom stove in by a huge rock, or of your bones whiten¬ 
ing those shores, or of their being made into drum-sticks 
or fish-spears by some amiable Malay, is quite another 
thing to talk about. 

Flocks of tropic birds of every variety now flew over 
the ship; thousands of parrots and parroquets winged 
their way to some lonely isle, chattering and screaming, 
perhaps with surprise, as they passed over our heads. 
Now and then a beautiful little land bird would rest his 
tired wing upon the spars, and again make for his spicy 
groves, from which he had perhaps been torn by some 
rude blast. The air was perfumed with a spicy odour. 
The gentle breeze that fanned our sails had no doubt 
passed over many a sweet and leafy bower, or had rustled 
through the lair of the tiger. Under its gentle influence 
7 


90 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


we slowly wended our way northward, perfectly satis¬ 
fied with our view of the interior of Winrow Bay, and 
with no desire to revisit its uncivilized shores. 

We here had the opportunity of seeing for the first 
time one of those far-famed and wonderful boats, a Ma¬ 
lay prowa, sailing “ dead into the wind’s eye”—a long 
lateen sail, made of matting, almost as big as a ship’s 
main-topsail, rigged to a stump mast and supported by 
a long bamboo yard. One side of this craft is perfectly 
flat, like a boat cut in two from stem to stern; it is pre¬ 
vented from capsizing by an out-rigger of some very 
buoyant material of equal length with the boat: the speed 
with which these boats skim over the water, is truly 
wonderful. With the aid of a telescope we could see 
some grim-looking fellows sitting in a row to windward, 
watching the motions of our vessel—they soon run out 
of sight. They are represented to be a very treacherous 
people, and frequent conflicts occur between them and 
our traders in pepper, upon the adjoining coast of Su¬ 
matra ; but if the story be true that was told to me of 
the conduct of one of my countrymen, they are perfectly 
excusable in wreaking their vengeance upon us when¬ 
ever they can do so with impunity. A certain captain 
commanding an armed barque, whilst sailing along the 
coast of Sumatra observed several hundred of the natives, 
men, women and children, spearing fish, upon a shoal 
that run out into the sea: he luffed up to within a hun¬ 
dred yards of them, and in mere wantonness, poured into 
the harmless and unoffending group, a broadside of grape 
and canister shot, dyeing the sea with their blood. If 
this story be true, the animosity of these people towards 
our traders is easily accounted for, and any retaliation 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


91 


perfectly justifiable; but the spirit of vengeance which 
appears to animate these people against all foreigners may 
with more likelihood be attributable to a terrible slaughter 
of their countrymen, which we will have occasion to 
narrate hereafter. 

Having now run up to the latitude of the Straits of 
Sunda, the ship was hove to for the night, that we might 
make the passage by daylight. I turned into my berth, 
and was soon dreaming of rocks and speckled snakes, 
Malay prowas and spicy groves, jumbled together in all 
sorts of wild fanciful forms. 


PART III. 


Master. Boatswain! 

Boatswain. Here, master: what cheer? 

Master. Good. Speak to the mariners: fall to’t yarely, or we run 
ourselves a-ground—lester, lester! 

Tempest. 


“ No more they shrieked their horror, boom for boom ; 
The strife was done, the vanquish’d had their doom.” 


ENTRANCE TO THE STRAITS OF SUNDA-THE FRIAR ROCK- 

PRINCE’S ISLAND—WARLIKE EQUIPMENTS AND PREPARA¬ 
TIONS FOR DEFENCE-AMUSING SCENES ON DECK-THE 

STEWARD AND CONVERSATION WITH THAT WORTHY- 

ANGEIR POINT AND ANCHORAGE-CAP ISLAND-THE 

WRECK OF THE PEKIN. 

At the close of the last watch, the ship had shaped 
her course for the Straits of Sunda. At dawn of day 
the land, which had faded from our view the preceding 
night, again loomed above the eastern horizon, dis¬ 
playing a long line of coast of every variety of form, 
from the conical-shaped hill, the peaceful undulating 
vale, to the towering mountain capped with clouds, upon 
whose summit 

“ Thunder holds her black tremendous throne.” 

As yet, distance had spread a veil over the landscape, 
which was slowly lifting as we advanced under the 
impulse of a steady western monsoon. 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


93 


• 

From the azure obscurity, objects were gradually 
shadowed forth into every variety of tint and colour. 
The mountain’s base, still sombre and Claude-like, was 
beautifully contrasted with the bright summit tipt by the 
first rays of the morning sun. 

Whilst I was contemplating this novel scene with the 
eye of a tourist, the officers of the ship were busy com¬ 
paring every jutting cape and promontory and landmark 
with the chart spread before them. 

The Friar,* with cowl and gown, stood beside the 
magnificent portals to the Oriental world. I gazed upon 
that gloomy monument, bronzed by the hand of time, 
and worn by the wave that for centuries had washed its 
feet; beneath whose shadow Vasco de Gama had 
passed in doubt and uncertainty, bearing aloft that 
sacred emblem, as yet to triumph over the barbaric 
empires of the East. The heraldic banners of many 
kingdoms now crumbled into decay, had passed in 
review before this solitary sentinel upon his outpost. A 
grim smile might be fancied to illume his features, now 
gilded by the slanting rays of the rising sun, as the con¬ 
stellation of a new world upon its azure field, waved 
from the peak of the adventurous craft that glided past 
him. With a strong breeze, aided by a current, we 
swept by the numerous headlands, and many a rock 
heaved up from the bosom of the ocean, by invisible 
myriads of submarine architects, and hewn into the 
grotesque by the attrition of the wave. All the senses 
were freshened and invigorated by this proximity to the 
land, 

* A remarkable rock, about eighty feet in height, resembling a friar 
in full canonicals.—M arsden. 


94 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


“ A delicious odour profusely breathing from the spicy groves,” 

whilst the everlasting verdure of the hills, with a back¬ 
ground of purple mountains rising, “ stage on stage,” far 
above the fleecy clouds, softened the eye, so long 
accustomed to the monotony of a boundless prospect. 

We were fairly within the Straits—and had passed the 
gates. For a moment an indescribable sadness came 
upon my spirit, but a passing shadow like that which 
yon white wreath of mist casts upon the bright and 
ever-changing landscape. Visions of home and of my 
mother,—more than half the waters of a convex world 
between us. Shall I ever repass these portals ? or, have 
they closed upon me and my native land for ever ? 

To our left was Prince’s Island, with a terrible reef of 
coral rocks, upon which the last of the waves of the 
Indian Ocean were spending their fury. For a short 
time after we entered the passage, we still felt the influx 
of those swells, but they soon subsided, and were, for 
the first time for many, many days, upon a steady keel, 
with hardly any perceptible motion. 

All hands were busy getting up our warlike equip¬ 
ment—tricing up a hammock-netting to the rigging— 
grinding cutlasses, cleaning pistols, and arranging pikes 
around the mast and spanker-boom. At that time, 
vessels had frequently been attacked by piratical Malay 
prowers, and upon several occasions a whole ship’s 
crew had fallen victims, slaughtered by these desperate 
marauders. Amongst the green islands, that lined the 
eastern shores, the dark sails of their w T onderful craft 
were seen darting past the trees, and running to wind¬ 
ward with that surprising facility possessed by none 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


95 


other sailing vessels, and for which and their miraculous 
speed, they are called by seamen “ Flying Prowers.” 

I could not but smile upon our formidable armament, 
consisting of four guns, two of them fashioned out of an 
old spar by the ingenuity of the carpenter, the other two 
a sort of nondescript species of dwarf ordnance, making 
up for a deficiency in length by a proportionally lateral 
extension, called carronades, in compliment, I suppose, to 
“ that grim ferryman that poets write of.” They were 
awful little fat apoplectic unwieldy fellows, with huge 
gaping mouths, down which you could look into the 
very pit of their stomachs, now empty, but to be 
crammed with the most indigestible, though highly 
seasoned matter imaginable. 

After much toiling and rolling about, and holding on 
to their stump tails, for these creatures had stump tails, 
and much affectionate handling by the boatswain and 
his assistants, they were finally deposited quite comfort¬ 
ably at the port-holes, out of which they stared with 
open mouths at the prospect. 

“That’s a young ’un,” said old Hanse, shaking his 
head pensively, “ but awful spiteful little fellows. You 
can stick a great deal into them little chaps, and just 
tickle his tail with a red-hot poker, and he’ll sneeze like 
thunder. We had bigger fellows than these on board 
‘ Old Ironsides,’ but of the same breed, sir. They will 
take any thing that comes handy,” continued he, address¬ 
ing the bystanders, “ a round-shot, two stand of grape, a 
marlinspike and a pump-chain—” 

“Yes!” said the carpenter, who was whistling his 
favourite tune with a business-like air, and with his foot- 
rule thrust into the gaping mouth of the object of the 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


general attention—“ Yes !” said he, raising himself to his 
full height, and regarding Hanse reproachfully—“ You 
fellows forrad there upon the spar-deck were sky-lark¬ 
ing all the action, and wasting public property; I heard 
of yer—a heaving pump-chains into Bull; you ought to 
be ashamed of yourselves.” 

“Were you there too, carpenter?” said I, becoming 
somewhat interested in the conversation. He nodded his 
head affirmatively. 

“We were all there, except Robinson, him that we 
ducked crossing the line.” 

I afterwards heard that the crew were all old man-of- 
war’s men, and first-rate sailors. 

“ Cook !” cried Gardner, “ Cook !”—that greasy func¬ 
tionary’s head slowly protruded from his smoky domicile 
—“ heat a poker”—the head vanished, and so did the 
mate, soon reappearing, however, from below with 
ammunition, some of that indigestible food before spoken 
of, which they proceeded to cram, with much jamming 
and poking and hammering with mallets, down the 
throat of the passive recipients. And now he of the 
caboose was summoned to bring forth the tickler, which 
was clutched by the old sailor, a mischievous expression 
hovering round the corners of his eyes and mouth, such 
as would light up the face of an overgrown schoolboy 
about to perpetrate some joke. 

“ But hold on a moment, Hanse,” cried the mate, 
“ you’ve stuffed too much in this chap, it’s half out of the 
muzzle.” 

The carpenter leaned over the bulwarks, took a sly 
glance at the subject of the last remark, then screwing 
his mouth on one side with a corresponding depression 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


97 


of that eye, sticking his tongue at the same time into 
the hollow of his cheek, he slowly walked off, chuckling 
and wagging his head from side to side, as if he had 
heard or seen some exquisite joke that required his 
privacy for the full enjoyment. 

“ Bless your heart, sir,” said Hanse, “ they’re used to 
it, them fellows is,” and then confidently, “ he’ll sneeze 
it out. Shall I tickle his touch-hole before this poker 
get’s cold ?” 

“ Go ahead, and be d—d to you 1” which figurative 
addition to the order was properly appreciated by Jack, 
rather as a compliment than any malicious intent on the 
part of the speaker to consign his soul to any future tor¬ 
ments, viewed in the same light as Othello’s 

“ Perdition catch my soul but I do love thee !”— 

the same idea expressed by a sailor would not appear 
quite so poetical. Be that as it may, the words had no 
sooner passed his lips, when slap bang! such a roar; a 
volume of white smoke rolled forth, tumbling into all 
sorts of fanciful shapes, the water raked up into a foam 
by the grape-shot, whilst the ball could be seen skipping 
from wave to wave, flashing up pyramids of spray, until 
it crashed among the trees upon the shore; but long ere 
that projectile had reached its resting-place, the author 
of all this uproar had turned two or three somersets, and 
now lay gasping upon his back, the smoke steaming from 
his jaws as if overcome by the violent effort to disgorge 
the load he had been crammed with. 

“Didn’t I tell you,”said Hanse, “that these little fellows 
were sneezers ?” 

“ Turn him over, and see if he’s hurt himself.” 


98 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


“ All's right, sir ; next time, sir, we'll hold him down 
tighter.” 

These warlike appendages to our heretofore peaceful 
deck were again fitted to their places, and, with the 
addition of the two wooden “ quakers,” no doubt pre¬ 
sented a very formidable appearance. 

We had crossed, the equator in the Atlantic and de¬ 
scended to a low latitude in the Indian Ocean; we were 
again approaching the equator, being about six degrees 
south; the sun at mid-day was far from being insupport- 
ably hot, as I was led to believe; the air was fresh and 
invigorating, tempered, no doubt, by the adjacent moun¬ 
tains, which rose to a great height both upon the islands 
of Java and Sumatra. 

It would be an endless task to describe the various 
interesting objects of the beautiful panorama which 
passed before us. It was a combination of every kind 
of enchanting scenery. I have viewed many magnifi¬ 
cent prospects in different parts of the world, in which 
one or two points of greater sublimity may have inter¬ 
posed, but none that combined all the variety of the first 
entrance into the Sunda group, and from thence to the 
last passage between Borneo and Sumatra, and the 
Malay Peninsula, ere you launch into the China Seas. 

Towards night the breeze had nearly died away, but 
we still moved slowly on, and about sunset reached An- 
gier Roads, the usual anchorage-place for outward 
bound East Indiamen. Preparations had been made for 
casting anchor. The royals were taken in, top-gallant 
sails clewed up, the lower sails long since, when at a 
particular spot the fore and main-topsail halyards were 
let go. The anchor plunged from the bow, dragging 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


99 


the chain cable with such rapidity through the hawse- 
holes that the ship trembled from stem to stern ; a silence 
announced the fact of touching ground for the first time 
on this side of the world ; after a few moments, the 
gallant Rosalie swung round to her anchor and was 
stationary. 

What a charming party gathered round our table 
that evening! The unwieldy frame-work, to secure the 
plates and dishes from rolling off, was removed, can¬ 
dlesticks placed parlour-wise upon a clear table, and 
we looked forward to the morrow to see it adorned 
with all the luxuries of fresh fish, fowls, fruit and vege¬ 
tables. 

“ Steward !” 

“ Sir!” promptly responded that excellent fellow, who 
was busily arranging his crockery in his sanctum, fami¬ 
liarly known to us as his pantry, and from which, in 
the early stages of the voyage, many a sickening com¬ 
pound of tea, brown sugar, coffee, onions, cheese and 
brandy had steamed forth upon our then too delicate 
olfactories. 

“ Steward!” roared the same voice. 

“ Sir-er-r!” again responded that gentleman, trolling 
out the word, jerking forth the middle of it with great 
energy, and finishing with a dying cadence, that might 
be interpreted either into the spirit of prompt obedience 
or a curse upon the appellant’s impatience. “I’m here, 
sir,” appearing the next moment with a bottle in one 
hand and a napkin in the other. 

“ Steward !” 

“ Well, sir?” 


100 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


“ Have you freshened a round of salt junk for dinner 
to-morrow ?” 

“ Yes, sir—have had a piece out of the harness cask, 
overboard from the bowsprit, dipping in the sea all day/’ 

“ Give it to the crew.” 

“ Steward!” 

“ Sir!” 

“ Can you make turtle soup V 9 

He of the pantry, instead of immediately responding 
to this delicate inquiry, smiled mournfully, a slight ebul¬ 
lition of feeling, checked by an habitual respect for his 
superiors, glistened in his eyes and mantled round the 
corners of his capacious mouth; his vanity had been 
touched in the tenderest point.—“ Have I lived to be 
asked that question ? Can I make turtle soup V 9 Then 
casting down his eyes and surveying those ten interesting 
little appendages, that had so often participated in his 
wanderings from camboose to cabin, and from cabin to 
camboose, dwelling fondly for a moment upon the 
younger branches of that fraternity, worn down to a 
stump with a laudable ambition to keep up with their 
superiors, in which, to his then excited imagination, was 
morally shadowed forth his own painful position, he 
muttered abstractedly, " pre haps the gentlemen wouldn’t 
relish it with the calipatch cut in slices, some allspice, a 
lemon, a dash of claret or old port wine, with seasoning 
to suit. No —pre haps,” continued he, with a deep sigh 
and provoking air of doubt, as if soliloquizing, “ pre haps 
they wouldn’t like the calapee fried in the shell, with 
hard-boiled eggs, and grated biscuit, and force-meat 
balls—prehaps—Oh no !” 

“ That will do, Steward,” we all cried, “ you’re the 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


101 


boyand off he walked, mumbling something about, 
“ Do I know how to make turtle soup ? eggs, butter”— 

“ Steward!” 

“ Sir!” responded that distinguished functionary in 
a tone subdued by feeling. 

“ Tell the carpenter to razee a couple of water-casks, 
for I want to lay in a store to-morrow of fat turtle.” 

After amusing ourselves for some time, prattling of 
the past and of various subjects incident to our position, 
we ascended to the deck. A dead silence reigned 
throughout the ship, interrupted only by the lapping of 
the small waves against the sides of the vessel, and the 
moaning of the night-breeze through the cordage. Along 
the shore, which was shrouded in gloom, an occasional 
light for a minute glimmered, then disappeared. It was 
a beautiful night, and the southern constellations of the 
Centaur, Cross and Argo, shone with singular lustre 
upon the clear blue firmament. Now and then, a Malay 
prower, silently and swiftly, like a phantom, darted 
across the bows of our vessel, and glided over the 
sparkling waters, silvered by the rays of a planet, and 
quickly was lost from view in the deep shadows of the 
mountain. These dark gliding objects were watched 
with anxiety, and every preparation made to resist any 
attack from a people that fatal experience had taught 
the merchantman he was liable to at any moment. 

Cap Island loomed in the distance obscurely, like an 
immense dome: a spot rendered famous by the wreck 
of the Pekin, an American merchantman, of the port of 
Philadelphia, freighted with a cargo valued at more 
than half a million of dollars. For the details of that 
terrible disaster, I am indebled to the gentleman who 


102 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


was passenger and supercargo on board that ill-fated 
vessel. 

Whilst beating out of the Straits, on her return voyage 
from Canton, on the afternoon preceding the night of 
the disaster, the Pekin was spoken by a British sloop-of- 
war, called the Proteus, and warned against so danger¬ 
ous an experiment. Upon approaching Cap Island, 
under a gentle breeze, with all sail set, and every pros¬ 
pect of weathering it, the wind suddenly died away, and 
it immediately became apparent to every one on board 
that the Pekin was sweeping down broadside upon the 
island, under the irresistible influence of a current run¬ 
ning like a mill-race. 

In a moment after she struck upon a rock, near the 
bows, and heeled over—her yards touching the rocks— 
which towered above the peak of the mainmast. And 
there she lay, hanging by the bows, upon the pinnacle of 
a rock, whilst from the stern no bottom could be found 
with a line of eighty fathoms. Signals of distress were 
made, by firing of guns and burning of blue lights, to 
attract the attention of the British sloop-of-war, then at 
anchor upon the very spot where the Rosalie now so 
calmly reposed. They were not made in vain. The 
gallant officer in command of that vessel quickly got 
under way, and at dawn of day was ready to assist, 
and, if possible, to save the vessel. 

Such was the great depth of water near the wreck, 
that the commander of the sloop-of-war was compelled 
to bend on two cables before he could bring his vessel to 
an anchor. The captain’s boat soon came under the 
stern of the Pekin ; as he approached, he could distinctly 
be heard, reading aloud the name of the ill-fated ship— 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


103 


“ ‘ The Pekin, of Philadelphia.’ Ha, ha, Brother Jona¬ 
than, you’ve got it! I told you so yesterday.” 

The water had made such progress in the hold of the 
Pekin that she was settling fast, and fears arose that she 
would sink stern foremost in deep water, and all hands 
be swallowed up in the vortex. 

Every exertion was now made by the hands, aided by 
the crew of the British cruiser, to save as much of the 
cargo as possible. 

The teas, saturated with water, began to swell, lifting 
up the decks and cracking the transverse beams. The 
most costly silks, intended to adorn the person of many 
a bright-eyed Yankee girl, now stained with sea water, 
fluttered from the ropes and spars of both vessels. We 
might with safety say, that no vessel of war was ever so 
costly adorned as the British cruiser, not even the famed 
barge of Cleopatra. Two hundred thousand dollars 
worth of the richest silks of China, of the choicest 
colours, hanging in festoons from the highest pinnacle of 
her tall masts to the decks, even the bulwarks and ham- 
mock-cloths were lined with velvet, and a thirty-two 
pound carronade peeped from beneath the folds of a 
damask brocade. After they had become sufficiently 
dried, they were crammed, in bulk, into the hold of the 
Proteus. 

The teas were thrown into the sea as fast as a hundred 
hands could work. The ocean was dyed a deeper green. 
Four hundred thousand dollars’ worth of the choicest 
teas, from the odoriferous Chulan to the pungent Imperial, 
set to draw in that vast cauldron, sweetened with rock- 
candy and creamed with the foam of the “ white cap!” 
If old Neptune ever filled his horn with that fashionable 


104 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


beverage, what a tea-party Amphitryon and the Tritons 
must have had in their coral groves. We can ima¬ 
gine the mermaids of the Asiatic Archipelago—combing 
their tresses and preparing for a general submarine soiree, 
whilst innumerable syrens chant a gleeful chorus in an¬ 
ticipation of the coming joys. The inhabitants of the rock, 
the while, had not been idle: every projecting branch 
and jutty crag of the overhanging precipice was thronged 
with spectators, mowing and chattering and grinning 
at the novel and busy scene beneath them. The dandy 
little ring-tailed monkey, and the solemn and sedentary 
ape, with hinder parts all worn bare, thronged above, 
or occasionally caught at a flying ribbon that flaunted 
in their faces. Spectators of a more dangerous charac¬ 
ter lined the shores of Sumatra, Java, and Crockatoa, 
like jackalls ready to pounce upon the carcass so soon 
as the royal beast should retire. Every cape and bay 
thronged with the Malay craft, from the light and buoy¬ 
ant bark canoe to the warlike prower, with its hundred 
kreesed warriors, all thirsting for blood and plunder,— 
many of that fierce band, that now moved in all the 
vigour of savage manhood, soon destined to dye their na¬ 
tive sea with their own blood, their mangled corses a prey 
for the greedy shark or soaring vulture. 

The Pekin was abandoned to her fate, the crew re¬ 
mained on board the British sloop of war, where every 
attention was shown to them by the gallant commander, 
whose name, we regret, we cannot here record. As a 
prelude to the subsequent event, and with a view to 
extenuate, if possible, the conduct of the British officer 
in the execution of that dreadful tragedy which to this 
day is remembered by the natives of those islands, it 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


105 


were well to mention, that some dreadful piracies had 
occurred in those seas upon British and American mer¬ 
chantmen. In several instances vessels had been boarded 
in the night by Malays, and every soul on board put to tor¬ 
ture and death and eaten. The cruelties and tortures suf¬ 
fered by the helpless victims, before death, are too shock¬ 
ing to narrate. With a view to suppress these piracies by 
some signal blow of vengeance, the British Government 
had sent a squadron into those seas, of which the Proteus 
was a part. As yet, no opportunity had occurred to the 
Admiral to carry out his instructions, but the wreck of 
the Pekin was about to afford him the means of striking 
a terrible blow. A few days after the incidents recorded, 
the Proteus fell in with the frigate of the Admiral, and 
after relating to him all the circumstances, orders were 
given immediately to return to the wreck, and, if possi¬ 
ble, to get her off. 

The Proteus bore away for the wreck, but upon ap¬ 
proaching Cap Island, to the astonishment and mortifi¬ 
cation of the British captain, the Pekin had floated off 
the rock upon which she had apparently been impaled, 
and had drifted down upon the Goodwin Sands, where 
she lay high out of the water surrounded by at least a 
thousand canoes, the decks thronged with Malays, strip¬ 
ping the vessel of every thing portable. Upon observing 
the sloop of war rounding the point, advancing slowly 
under her topsails, against a strong current, the plun¬ 
derers deserted the wreck with the greatest precipitation, 
and paddled off in a body for the Island of Sumatra. 
The motion of the man-of-war was impeded purposely 
by drags to deceive the flying fleet, which was now 
crowded together, yet rapidly skimming over the water 
8 


106 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


under the impulse of three thousand vigorous savages. 
The moment they had fairly gained the middle of the 
channel, a cloud of canvass covered the spars of the ad¬ 
vancing cruiser, and she sprung through the water, steer¬ 
ing directly for the centre of the fugitives, who were 
now uttering wild cries of terror, scattering to the right 
and left in doubt, dismay, and uncertainty, like a flock 
of birds, into whose centre a devouring hawk had made 
a swoop. Onward came the terrible ship—her long 
black hull cleaving through the water, which roared at 
her bows like a cataract. Suddenly her main-topsail 
was hove to the mast, a long line of red ports flew open, 
from which protruded an array of bristling cannon : a 
voice like that which at such a moment sounded to the 
Malays as of a destroying angel, clear and piercing, 
“ trumpet toned,” cried—“ Port and starboard fire !—at 
the same moment a whole broadside of grape and cannis- 
ter burst from her dark sides in sheets of flame, and with 
the roar of thunder, tearing the water up into a foam, 
and crashing amidst the canoes, which were now hid 
from view by dense volumes of smoke. From that sul¬ 
phurous canopy arose a yell of agony and terror, which 
was heard even above the roar of artillery, which three 
times, right and left, vomited forth fire and destruction 
upon those miserable wretches. 

From this field of carnage, slowly emerged the dark 
hull of the grim warrior, now sated with blood—the cross 
of St. George with its ensanguined field, fluttering 
from her peak, and from the pinnacle of her tapering 
masts—and was again upon her course ere the echoes 
of that terrible cannonade had ceased reverberating from 
shore to shore. Upon the dying and the dead, was 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


107 


spread a thick dark canopy of smoke, as a pall upon the 
blood-stained sea, which was slowly lifted by the return¬ 
ing breeze, exposing all the horrors of the scene. A thou¬ 
sand wretches had been hurled into eternity, whilst al¬ 
most as many more were either wounded or floundering 
in the water, a prey to the shark, the water lashed into 
a foam by these monsters of the deep, struggling for their 
prey. The blow had been struck, and a terrible one. 
It had become absolutely necessary for the protection of 
commerce to inflict a chastisement upon these marauders 
that thronged the great highway to India and China— 
whether it was too sanguinary or not, we must forbear 
to form any hasty decision, but there is no doubt many 
years passed away before any piracies occurred upon 
those seas. 


PART IV. 


“ Look how the floor of heaven 
Is thick inlaid with patines of bright gold ! 

There’s not the smallest orb that thou behold’st, 

But in his motions like an angel sings, 

Still quiring to the young-eyed cherubins.” 

Shakspeare. 

NIGHT SCENE IN THE TROPICS-SUNRISE-A VISIT FROM THE 

NATIVES OF JAVA-TRADING FOR PROVISIONS-DIALOGUE 

BETWEEN BOATSWAIN AND ORIENTAL LOAFER-A MALAY 

DANDY-ANTIQUITY OF THE JAVANESE-SUPERSTITIONS- 

SECOND SIGHT-ANCIENT TEMPLES-THE BUFFALO’S SKULL 

-GENERAL ASPECT OF THE COUNTRY—THE CUP TREE. 

For many hours did I remain upon deck, contem¬ 
plating the silent glories of that tropical night. The 
scene was novel, and of indescribable grandeur. I 
could scarcely realize the truth of my position, so 
sudden the transition from the common-place scenery of 
the West. It seemed like one of those unaccountable 
transformations in a dream. The tedious voyage across 
the desert of trackless waters is forgotten—and fresh 
with all the associations and habits inseparably linked in 
with our life, and indelibly engraved upon our minds, 
we tread the soil of another hemisphere, the antipode to 
our own in every particular. The stars above are 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


109 


strangers to me, and the earth beneath my feet. The 
air we breathe so thick with the perfume of spicy groves. 
Every thing around and above conspired to make deep 
and lasting impressions, which time has not effaced. 

The dark towering mountains whose giant shadows 
stretched across the land and waters—“the thousand 
isles,” with their coral caves and rocks and murmuring 
shores—the rich perfume borne through the dewy air by 
the gentle breeze, that fanned my cheek and stirred my 
hair, and gently agitated the beautiful sea. that sparkled 
beneath the rays of a planet—the phantom-like craft 
of the natives that glided past the headlands and then 
were lost in the deep shadows—but above all, the clear 
deep blue sky, wdth its celestial decorations, the con¬ 
stellations of the southern hemisphere, heavenly lamps 
hanging down, detached from the magnificent vault— 
beyond which the eye can pierce into illimitable space; 
whilst gazing, a sentiment of admiration and awe creeps 
upon the spirit, and transports us at once into the bosom 
of the Deity. 

But for this elevating sentiment of the soul, the deep 
sense of the humility of our insignificance would be 
overpowering. 

An inhabitant of northern climes cannot imagine 
the brilliancy of the stars of the southern hemisphere— 
the constellations of the Cross, Centaur, and Argo, 
shine with such lustre as to distinctly mark your 
shadow, and others of the first and second magnitude 
can be observed rising from the horizon or descending 
beneath it, their amplitudes or distances be taken as 
accurately as the sun or moon. 


110 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


Many a bright planet that had adorned the zenith was 
sinking beneath the wave or retired behind the distant 
mountains ere I sought repose, with a determination, 
however, to be up with the dawn and witness the sun 
rise over those eastern hills. 

So profound were my slumbers after the excitement 
and fatigues of the day, that the sun might have risen 
and run his diurnal course without the honour of my 
presence, had it not been for the timely interference of 
one who cared as little about the picturesque as a shovel¬ 
nosed shark for an ice cream. One or two shakes from 
that worthy fellow, whose merits I have before spoken 
of, effectually awakened me, and I was soon breathing 
the fresh morning air. 

The numerous bays and islands were still in shadow. 
The night mists were slowly rising from the valleys, and 
curling up the sides of the hills, festooning the dark 
purple mountains with fantastic wreaths, or flung like a 
white scarf across the ravines. The brilliant white 
dawn of a tropical morning adorned the eastern horizon, 
insensibly ascending the heavens as far as the zenith, 
into a multitude of intermediate shades, from the mellow 
tint of yellow to the rich orange, lively vermilion, and 
deep violet, gorgeously resplendent, in a magnificent 
series of harmonic contrasts. 

From behind the dark peak of Crockatoa, which for 
a moment glowed like a volcano, the sun rose in all his 
majesty, and shed his glories upon the lovely landscape, 
and animated every thing with his presence ; the waters 
danced and sparkled beneath his beams—the groves of 
palms waved their long branches in graceful salutation 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


Ill 


to the morning breeze—and the clouds of the night that 
had slept upon the hills, pierced by his salient rays, fled 
westward in rolling scattered columns. 

Flocks of tropical birds, with glittering plumage, 
winged their way across the channel. The sea and 
every bay was enlivened by the craft of the natives, 
skimming over the surface with their long lateen sails, 
or paddling from the shore to our ship. 

I am sorry to confess that the beautiful and pic¬ 
turesque were in a moment merged in visions of fat 
turtle, fish, and fowl—and all my attention now was 
turned to the approaching traders. There were at least 
a hundred pulling from the shores, each canoe crammed 
with every kind of fruit and vegetables, and live stock, 
and in a few hours after they had been alongside, the 
ship’s decks were thronged with monkeys, parroquets, 
fowls, and pigs, innumerable cages filled with Java 
sparrows, and last, but not least in the estimation of 
all, a dozen fat turtle flapping their white flippers upon 
the forecastle. It was a sight to make an alderman 
weep for joy. With affectionate respect did the steward 
turn them about and comment upon their several 
beauties, and finally determined upon the victim first 
to be offered up as a propitiatory sacrifice to our 
appetites. 

There was one of the natives who had outstripped his 
companions in the canoe-race from the shore to our 
vessel. He brought nothing with him to trade or sell, 
and consequently had a great advantage over his com¬ 
petitors, whose canoes were full of truck. When this 
worthy reached us, and had fastened his frail bark to the 


112 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


mizzen chains, he crawled on board in the most unsailor¬ 
like manner imaginable. From the folds of a dirty, 
ragged garment, that reached half way down his miser¬ 
ably thin legs, he lugged out a stone bottle, emphasizing 
at the same time a word of one syllable, which at once 
developed his character and wants. “ Rum,” said he, 
addressing the boatswain with great respect, thrusting 
the jug at the same time in his face, who returned the 
salutation, by requesting the Oriental loafer immediately 
to make sail for the lower regions. As he of the bottle 
was utterly ignorant to whom and to what place the 
boatswain had so courteously consigned him, with ex¬ 
cusable pertinacity he still preferred his claim for some 
of that liquid, accompanied by the most supplicating 
gestures. We will not pretend to say by what motives 
Jack was prompted, whether from a mischievous or 
benevolent one, or whether from a general principle with 
sailors never to decline giving, or refuse the donation of 
such matters, but a most copious dram was given the 
native, without any apparent scruples of conscience on 
the part of the donor. No sooner was it gulped down, 
however, than Jack again intimated a desire, couched in 
no very polite phrase, that he of the canoe should depart 
forthwith to the regions of his infernal majesty, and 
expressing in no very equivocal terms his unmitigated 
disgust to the person of this specimen of Oriental ele¬ 
gance, who added to his other attractions a mouth 
hideously blackened by the free use of the betel-nut. The 
bottle presented by the native, to the astonishment of 
Jack, was an empty one of Day and Martin’s blacking. 
He therefore very wisely concluded that the fellow had 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


113 


been partaking of that far-famed liquid for want of the 
other. 

“Speak out like a man, you Cherokee, if anything 
decent for a respectable gentleman like myself to listen 
to, can come from that coal-hole.” 

At this last effusion of the chief of the forecastle, there 
was a general roar of laughter from the crowd, which 
somewhat disturbed Jack’s equanimity. 

“ Prehaps,” said the carpenter, “ this gentleman is 
‘boots’ at the Ingen Queen hotel on shore there, and 
being rather short of cold wittels, he’s swallowed his 
blacking. Ask him, Jack, if he’d like to taste a morsel 
of our cat with nine tails.” 

At this suggestion, Jack went to the locker and 
brought out the strange animal alluded to, which he not 
only exhibited to the stranger, but expatiated upon its 
merits with much fervour, and in his own peculiar style 
of eloquence, drawing the strings through his fingers, and 
flourishing it about in the most scientific and familiar 
way—and demanding whether “ that was not a sweet 
plaything, and that a taste of its qualities would restore 
him to reason as quick as the wild man in the play.” 

Whether Jack’s eloquence, or one or two magic 
touches from the cat inspired the native, it is impossible 
to say; but suddenly he cried out “ more”—accom¬ 
panied by a little pantomime between hand and mouth, 
which was too plain to be misunderstood. Jack either 
was, or affected to be, as much shocked at this unrea. 
sonable demand, as the parochial cook, when Oliver 
Twist called for more soup; and instead of granting 
the request, immediately applied the instrument to his 


114 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


back, accompanied at the same time by a kick, bestowed 
with much liberality and good-will. Upon the reception 
of these liberal and gratuitous donations, the hitherto 
passive disseminator of the fame of Day and Martin, at 
one bound cleared the bulwarks and plunged head fore¬ 
most into the sea. Jack gazed about him for a moment 
perfectly bewildered, and heedless of the jibes of his 
companions. The figure and movements of the Malay, 
indicated no such surprising powers of agility. The 
boatswain, therefore, attributed this Ravel movement 
entirely to the impetus received from his own vigorous 
leg. Addressing the bystanders, he cried— 

“ I say, shipmates, did you see that? I just touched 
the chap with my starboard flopper, under the counter, 
and blow me if it didn’t sky him. I say, forard there, 
look if that ingen ain’t sticking in the fore-rigging.” 

We turned from this small comedy, to observe the 
canoes and natives which now surrounded the vessel; 
and I soon became deeply engaged in bartering trink¬ 
ets, handkerchiefs and knives with the motley assem¬ 
blage. 

Almost every canoe was freighted with live stock, 
and every kind of vegetable and strange fruit, from the 
orange and pine-apple, to the duran and mangastein— 
the last mentioned, the most luscious of all fruits—a 
natural strawberry cream; if frozen, it would excel in 
flavour any dish of that cooling compound that Wood 
or Parkinson ever served to their customers. The duran 
is an extraordinary fruit, and greatly prized by the 
natives. At first, the smell is so repulsive, that you cast 
it away in disgust; but the flavour is an agreeable com- 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


115 


pound of sweets and acids, so delightfully intermingled, 
and in such exquisite proportions, that you forget the 
smell and abandon all other fruits when you can obtain 
this natural consolidated punch, without any of the 
cloying or intoxicating qualities of that well-known 
beverage. 

The canoes are worked with a double-bladed paddle, 
dipping it alternately in the water on either side. They 
will propel their slight barks through the water with 
astonishing speed. 

Some of these people were remarkably well-shaped, 
and with very intelligent faces. I was particularly 
struck with the manners and bearing of a youth who 
had sold out his stock in trade, and was now amusing 
himself with cutting jokes upon his fellows—paddling 
about from canoe to canoe, chatting with this one, then 
throwing an orange at another. As this Javanese and 
myself were about the same age, he quickly caught my 
eye, and observing something in the glint of it that sym¬ 
pathized with his own humour, we quickly made ac¬ 
quaintance, and commenced a conversation in the style 
of Valentine and Orson. 

I presented him with a waistcoat of gaudy pattern, 
and he jumped into his little boat, evidently delighted 
with the prize, for he waved it about triumphantly, to 
the envy of all beholders. Those admirable tailors, 
Robb & Winebrenner, when it passed out of their hands, 
never dreamed that it would adorn the person of a 
tawny-skinned Malay. Perhaps this fellow, upon some 
subsequent occasion, may have astonished a curious 
navigator with a garment cut by a fashionable Philadel- 


116 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


phia tailor, as much as we were by the apparition of 
“ Day & Martin’s best,” in the hands of the Oriental 
loafer before spoken of. But I hope the wearer by that 
time will have become a little more familiarized with 
the garment, for the last time I saw him he had thrust 
his legs through the arm-holes, and was exercising his 
natural ingenuity to make it meet behind. 

Having received now a full supply of every thing, at 
about noon these visiters began to depart one by one 
from the ship, and we commenced an examination of 
our various purchases. Poor Pug ! (there was at least 
thirty of these long-tailed gentlemen on board,) cast 
many a lingering look towards his native shores, never 
destined to see them again. Some came to an untimely 
end long before we arrived in China; others outlived 
storms and ill-usage, and after again passing their native 
shores upon the return voyage, arrived safely in the 
United States; and may have ultimately, after an 
arduous professional career, expired in the arms of an 
organ-grinder. 

They were, however, a source of great amusement to 
us, and one of them, the hero of the adventure with the 
strange bird with the long bill, figured largely in one of 
my sketches. 

The Javanese are an ancient people; whether they are 
the same race that are spoken of in the Scriptures, as 
traders to ancient Tyre, has not been satisfactorily settled, 
though I should be tempted to believe, with Sir Stamford 
Raffles, that the ancient inhabitants of this beautiful 
island, were a distinct race from the present rude and 
simple people. 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


117 


In the 10th chapter of Genesis, we are told “ that the 
Isles of the Gentiles were divided in their lands; every 
one after his tongue, after their families in the nations.” 
And in the 27th chapter of Ezekiel, we find amongst the 
rich merchants those of Javan , “ who traded the persons 
of men, and vessels of brass, to the market of Tyre; 
and who, going to and fro, occupied in her fairs, brought 
bright iron, cassia, and calamus.” 

The ancient ruins of temples and cities scattered over 
this island, strike the spectator with astonishment and 
veneration. Every hill has its magnificent temple now 
in ruins; and valleys are filled with monuments of im¬ 
mense cities, of which the present inhabitants, like the 
South Americans, have no tradition. These splendid 
piles must have been erected under the superintendence 
of a people highly skilled in the arts. Whether the pre¬ 
sent rude and simple race are descendants of that ancient, 
civilized people, or whether they were foreigners, con¬ 
quered and obliterated from the face of the earth by 
savage invaders, is an interesting subject for philosophi¬ 
cal speculation, but as little likely to be satisfactorily 
settled, as who were the builders of the ancient ruins of 
Yucatan. A monument that had been buried for ages 
in the forests of South America, has been transported to 
New York by the talented and adventurous Stephens— 
a sculptured column from the base of Gunung-Kardang, 
may one day stand beside it, and the antiquarian behold 
at a glance monuments from the two hemispheres, alike 
curious for their antiquity and similarity of form and 
sculpture. 

The Javanese, like all rude and uncultivated people, 


118 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


believe in witchcraft and sorcery, and the mountaineers, 
like the Highlanders of Scotland, in second-sight. A 
singular instance of these credulous superstitions is re¬ 
corded by a Dutch historian, which has a striking re¬ 
semblance to the Highland superstitions of the cross, 
which Sir Walter Scott has immortalized in verse. 

The skull of a buffalo, in the short space of twenty 
days, had travelled over the whole island of Java, jour¬ 
neying through remote districts and kingdoms with the 
speed of lightning—transmitted from hand to hand by 
these credulous people who, without knowing why or 
wherefore, obeyed the mandate at every sacrifice. There 
was some undefinable feeling of evil to themselves or 
relations if this senseless matter was not kept in motion. 
The Dutch authorities, either from suspicion or perhaps 
a better motive, arrested the progress of this strange 
symbol and threw it into the sea. 

It is much to be regretted that we have no graphic 
description of the island of Java, its inhabitants and 
scenery. Something beyond the dry political details of 
Raffles and Crawford, and the statistical, botanical and 
geological researches of Marsden. Something that 
would amuse as well as instruct. Incidents of travel 
by such a pen as Stephens would be a great acquisition. 

It abounds with magnificent scenery—mountains rising 
to the height of 12,000 feet above the level of the sea, 
and natural phenomena of the most wonderful kind. 
Volcanic fires are constantly burning, and terrible erup¬ 
tions sometimes occur which spread destruction far and 
wide. 

In 1772, the Papuandayang burst forth into flame, and, 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


119 


after shaking the island to its centre by terrible explo¬ 
sions, and scattering ashes and scoria for three hundred 
miles from its base, sunk into the earth and disappeared; 
fifteen miles in length by twelve broad of this mountain 
was swallowed up. The subterranean noises constantly 
reverberating amongst the hills and valleys tend no doubt 
to keep alive and heighten that feeling of superstition 
which is so common among the inhabitants. 

The general aspect of this country is exceedingly 
beautiful, uniting all the rich and magnificent scenery 
which waving forests, never-failing streams and constant 
verdure can present, heightened by a pure atmosphere 
and the glowing tints of a tropical sun. Nature’s several 
kingdoms abound with wealth scattered profusely by the 
hand of a beneficent God. You feel His presence every 
where. The Cup Tree, alone, if insensible to every 
thing else, would strike the unbeliever with the truth of 
an Almighty Providence. 

Imagine a tree of great height with spreading branches 
and glossy metallic leaves—through which the sun’s 
rays at mid-day cannot pierce—imagine this tree covered, 
with innumerable goblets, each cup supplied with a top 
moving upon a hinge of the most exquisite and delicate 
construction, which opens at night and receives the fall¬ 
ing dew till filled with the pearly liquid to the brim, when 
the top closes and seals up the treasure. At the hour of 
noon, when the sun’s rays pierce like a javelin, and 
every living and inanimate thing shrinks from his beams, 
the lid opens, the stem, which so firmly sustained the 
vase, bends, and a shower of crystal waters pours forth 
to refresh every thing within its influence—myriads of 


120 


SCENES AND INCIDENTS. 


birds and butterflies like golden blossoms gemming every 
leaf, chanting in the sweetest and wildest tones their 
praises of the Great Creator. 

Send your unbeliever out of your crowded cities into 
God’s holy temples upon the mountain’s side or teeming 
valley—let him look upon this tree, blossomed with 
living creatures. Let him stand beneath its shade and 
receive a baptism from the dews of heaven at noonday, 
beneath an equatorial sun—and he will bow down before 
that magnificent shrine, humbled in spirit and elevated in 
sentiment. 


DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 


A portion of the following sketches are semi-political, 
but not in the slightest degree tinctured with that bitter- 
ness which generally accompanies political matters. On 
the contrary, they abound with good-humoured jokes, 
intended to be hit off with pleasantry and classic humour. 
The distinguished public characters who occasionally 
figure in these pages, not excepting even the Emperor of 
China, will no doubt enter into the full enjoyment of the 
jeu cTesprits. 


Department of State. 

TO THE HONOURABLE C- C- 

Envoy Extraordinary and Minister Plenipotentiary , from 
the United States of America to the Court of his most celes¬ 
tial majesty and highness Kiang Foo , the Emperor of 
China . 

Sir :—The President has been pleased, during the 
recess of Congress, and since you were rejected by the 
Senate, to confer upon you the appointment as Envoy 
Extraordinary and Minister Plenipotentiary to the court 
of his most celestial majesty the Emperor of China. In 
all human probability your nomination will not be con- 
9 


122 


DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 


firmed by the Senate; your time being short, you will 
therefore make the most of it. 

I have, by order of the President, directed the Secre¬ 
tary of the Treasury to honour your drafts for the full 
amount of your outfit and emoluments. I take this 
opportunity formally to express my regret that the com¬ 
pensation was not more liberal, it being in fact not equal 
to a private gratuity received by me from the merchants 
of Boston for a little business transaction done for them 
in England; yet the President joins with me in opinion, 
that considering the place of your birth, with proper 
economy, you may not only be able to perform all the 
duties incident to the very important mission, but lay up 
a comfortable subsistence for your future benefit. 

As a particular mark of his favour to you, and with 
the view to make a signal and lasting impression upon 
his celestial majesty the Emperor of China and the 
Governors and Rulers of that great empire, the President 
has been pleased to send out with you his beloved son 
Bob, the author of Ahasuerus, the Lost Foundling, and 
other forthcoming poems. This has invariably, amongst 
all nations, been deemed the strongest evidence of confi¬ 
dence and the most distinguished mark of respect, and I 
have no doubt the Emperor will justly appreciate the 
sacrifice not only made by the President but by the 
whole people of the United States, who feel the most 
lively interest in the welfare of that prepossessing youth. 

With a view to a partial mitigation of the affliction 
incident to so painful a bereavement, I have likewise 
directed the Secretary of the Treasury to honour his 
drafts for a handsome outfit and emoluments, and charge 

O 


DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 


123 


the same to incidental expenses, and ere this, that gifted 
young man no doubt has pocketed the same. 

As the people of China attach great importance to 
show and parade, and will no doubt be greatly influenced 
by the appearance of the Envoy and his suite, you will 
let no opportunity slip of adding to the dignity and 
importance of the nation you represent. 

For this purpose you will depart from the severe sim¬ 
plicity of our republican manners, carried perhaps to an 
excess by our present Envoy to the Court of Vienna, and 
pursue a course more consistent with the character of 
the government and people with whom you are to reside. 
I will not presume to dictate to you upon a matter so 
especially within your own discretion, but will very 
respectfully suggest that a vast display might be made 
at a trifling cost by the free use of Chinese crackers and 
other fireworks. 

The Chinese being a curious and ingenious people,, 
and celebrated for their skill in the mechanic arts, you 
will carry with you a plentiful supply of specimens of 
the notions and inventions of New England. The Presi¬ 
dent has requested your attention especially to be drawn 
to a box of beautiful workmanship, made from some 
choice remnants of lumber found at Harrisburg, the 
Capital of the great and thriving state of Pennsylvania, 
presented to the Government by Kickapoo, the worthy 
Governor of that State, obtained through the mediation 
of our principal War Mandarin, and chief of Indian 
Affairs, in which are contained two elaborate specimens 
of the wooden ham and nutmeg, an article of commerce 
for which your countrymen, and I am proud to say,, 
mine, are famous. 


124 


DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 


There are also some specimens of tin ware, and a 
miniature representation of the primitive New England 
cart, by which this curious and useful fabric is conveyed 
by the enterprising citizens of the North throughout all 
parts of this great empire. 

The President has been informed that the Chinese are 
great admirers of small feet, and indeed our own obser¬ 
vation, and conversations with captains and supercar¬ 
goes, and numerous representations upon tea-chests, con¬ 
firm the truth of that information. As our countrywomen 
generally are not remarkable for that peculiar beauty, 
and thereby, we may be disparaged in the eyes of the 
Emperor and rulers of the Celestial Empire, he sends 
you a small shoe, worn by a ward of his, of Virginia, 
who was remarkable for that beauty, and consequently 
received the sobriquet of the “ Lightfoot of Virginia.” 
Upon the presentation of this choice specimen, which 
has already made some noise in this country, you will 
take care to remark that it is the natural growth of Vir¬ 
ginia, and not formed upon the great principle of restric¬ 
tion, which, though a governing principle with the 
President in matters of finance and state policy, has not 
been carried down so far with us as in China. 

There is also a model of a bed, of very superior work¬ 
manship, to be presented to the principal mandarin of 
the Emperor's household, on which two politicians can 
repose with wonderful satisfaction, and discuss the while, 
with peculiar advantage, matters of great State import¬ 
ance, and if either party should subsequently turn traitor 
to their country or the Emperor, all their secret combi¬ 
nations, conversations and conspiracies in the most 
minute particulars will certainly be developed. We 


DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 


125 


have a practical illustration of the truth of this in our 
palace at Washington, of which fact you can assure the 
Emperor. 

Every thing which will tend to facilitate our com¬ 
merce with the nation to which you are going, must 
unsparingly be resorted to. And you will particularly 
inform his celestial majesty of the lively interest the 
President and his chief mandarins have taken in the 
opium question, and of our sense of the virtuous determi¬ 
nation of the Emperor to suppress the entire use of that 
deleterious drug. Its principal quality being a powerful 
soporific, the President apprehends that upon the homoe¬ 
opathic system, the dissemination of a harmless matter, 
possessing, however, the same qualities with the opium 
without its poison, if freely used, w T ould banish the article 
entirely from the Chinese dominions. He therefore sends 
you a supply of the debates of the last Congress, and a 
file of the Madisonian bound up in sheep. The two first 
articles are so strongly imbrued with the narcotic 
quality, that men have been known to sink into the arms 
of Morpheus at a glance of the title page. The people 
of China, by dint of threats and bribes, (the latter to be 
preferred,) may be induced to use them generally, and 
thus two objects will have been obtained, a great bless¬ 
ing conferred upon a whole nation, and the addition to 
our trade of an article of commerce easily manufactured, 
and in great quantities. 

It is with sentiments of deep grief the President of the 
United States, and indeed the whole world, but more 
particularly our beloved and prolific little sister-in-law, 
Victoria, have observed the benighted condition of the 
great and populous empire you are about to visit. For 


126 


DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 


thousands and thousands of years this truly unfortunate 
people have been peacefully increasing in wealth and 
prosperity, without a full knowledge of the blessings 
enjoyed by the nations of Europe and America, utterly 
ignorant of the art of war, and the beautiful extermi¬ 
nating systems practised by their kings and rulers. You 
will therefore take the earliest opportunity to congra¬ 
tulate the Emperor upon the result of the late conflict 
with the amiable Queen of England, who has rid him 
summarily of so many of his subjects, and so much of a 
certain article called sigh see silver, so called we sup¬ 
pose from the grievous effect it produced in the breasts 
of all Chinese beholders, upon observing that precious 
article depart so unceremoniously into the possession of 
their benefactors the English. 

In some degree to aid the common cause of humanity, 
and to assist in the great object of enlightening and 
improving the condition of the Chinese people, you will 
receive on board your vessel the following gentlemen, 
distinguished alike for their zeal, philanthropy and abili¬ 
ties : one Abolitionist, one Mormon, one Millerite, one 
Methodist, twelve Presbyterians of the old school, and 
an equal number of the new school, twelve Temperance 
lecturers, one Catholic Priest, one Rappite, one Espico- 
palian, one Puseyite, one Quaker, one Shaking Quaker, 
one Unitarian, one Social Reformer, one Baptist, one 
Seceder, one Jew, one Owenite, and six reporters of 
newspapers. With such materials, the President is 
under the sincere belief, with the help of a kind Provi¬ 
dence, you will quickly awaken these benighted people 
from the slumber into which they have been plunged for 
so many centuries. 


DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 


127 


Independent of these matters which relate to the 
prosperity of our commercial intercourse with a great 
nation and their spiritual welfare, it were well to impress 
the Emperor with an idea of our formidable strength in 
war. After deep reflection, the President is convinced 
that the most effectual mode to promote this, would be 
the solemn announcement to the Emperor of his having 

placed at the head of that department-, late of 

Northampton county, and as Chief War Mandarin of 
this great Empire. The fame of the great Kickapoo 
chief of America has reached no doubt, the ears of 
Elipoo the war chief of China. The announcement of 
this fact will, in the opinion of the President, inspire a 
great respect, with a corresponding degree of awe. 

With sincere wishes for your health and happiness, 
and with sentiments of high consideration, I have the 
honour to remain, your Excellency’s very obedient 
servant, 

Fletcher Webster, for 

Daniel Webster, Secretary of State. 



128 


DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE* 


PROCLAMATION 

To the Inhabitants of Yuang - Tong, Footchien , Kingsi, and 
Quangsee Districts. 

Open wide your ears—attend to this: 

The Emperor, brother to the Sun, Moon and Stars, 
your Father and Ruler, looks down from his mighty 
Celestial throne with the tender eye of a kind parent 
upon his children. 

He watches and protects you. 

It was foretold by Hiam Chitty-bung, the good and 
just, that twelve thousand moons should pass away and 
the people of the Celestial Empire would increase and 
multiply prosperously ; that during all that time the foot 
of the foreign barbarian should timidly touch the soil, 
leaving not the impress of the heel thereon. But, upon 
the eighteenth of Ki-too, 7964,* “ while-eyed, lily-livered, 
hairy-chopped foreign barbarians,! from remote corners 
of the world, should mercifully not only be permitted to 
trade, but their mandarins, or great men, would be pri¬ 
vileged to bump their heads at the footstool of our celes¬ 
tial and mighty throne.” 

These prophetic decrees are being verified. Our Ce- 

* Corresponding with 1842 of the Christian era. 
t “ Hoong-wang-zhats-cesliterally, white-eyed, carroty-pated bar¬ 
barians. 


DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 


129 


lestial Brother* is now in the eighteenth of Ki-too : ac¬ 
cordingly, and for reasons of justice within our own 
breast, ambassadors from all the barbarians of the earth, 
will have the supreme felicity to visit the Celestial Em¬ 
pire, and the honour to bump their humble heads in the 
dust at the foot of our Imperial throne. 

It has come to our knowledge that one Coo-shing, 
without tail or title, has been sent by the King of the 
Yean-kees , a nation not older than the fat hog in the 
Temple of Buddah at Yuen-min-yuen , to bend his body 
and bump his head at our feet, and that the aforesaid 
Coo-shing has already left War-shing-tung, the capital 
of his master’s kingdom, in a fast vapouring war-boat, 
in company with the son of the said King, a youth who 
rejoices in the name of Bo-bee-ti-lur-yung, pronounced 
by these abbreviating barbarians, Bob. 

This youth, the heir-apparent to the throne of the 
Yean-kees, is gifted with the divine inspirations of the 
poet, and it appears by a proclamation under the seal of 
his royal father, and which has met our Imperial eye, 
that his effusions—which are said to be quite a harmless 
narcotic—elaborately bound with the hide of a calf, sa¬ 
crificed for that especial purpose, will be presented as 
an antidote to that deleterious drug so poisonous to my 
people. A heppoo (custom-house officer) will be directed 
to translate the same, as from the state document before 
alluded to, it appears that none but officers of that class 
could understand the work or appreciate its merits. 

What saith the immortal Confu-chiou? (Latinized into 
Confucius by the Jesuits.) “ The cow loweth for its 


* The moon. 


130 


DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 


kind, the ass pineth for its foal.’’ Let every attention 
then be paid this young barbarian, to mitigate the pangs 
of parental bereavement. Let him be feasted with sweet¬ 
meats of the tender chou-chou, and savoury chop-a-ling- 
tee, and humanize his appetite with the delicious shark’s 
fin, the luscious bird’s nest, and exquisite puppy-dog soup. 
Let the purveyor conceal for a time the ingredients of 
the last-named delicacy, as these people, though unquali¬ 
fied barbarians, are not cannibals. Upon the arrival of 
the said Coo-shing, ambassador from the Yean-kees, and 
the aforesaid Bob, son of the King J ung-ti-lur, at the Bocca 
Tigris, their vapouring war-boat will ascend at once to 
Wampoa, without stopping at Macao or Cap-si-moon, 
where Elipoo shall attend with his principal mandarins 
to welcome him with a suitable display of fire-crackers. 

It is our imperial pleasure that these foreign barba¬ 
rians be entertained with hospitality becoming our own 
dignity, and however ridiculous their appearance and 
dress may be, it must be recollected that their intentions 
are good, the populace therefore will refrain from any 
expressions of contempt or ridicule, upon pain of the 
bamboo. 

The viceroy of Quang-tung will hasten to inform the 
said Coo-shing, ambassador of the Yean-kees aforesaid, 
that both he and his companion Bob, that son of a king, 
are to remain mute and passive, until they have per¬ 
formed all the ceremonies of the Ki-teaou.* They are 
reported to be a loose-jawed, long-tongued race, exces¬ 
sively addicted to talkativeness—a great vice, not to be 


t Ki-teaou: —Prostrations, bumping- the head upon the ground nine 
times, &c. 


DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 


131 


tolerated in a well-conducted government; any appeal 
by the said Bob to the people, will occasion an imme¬ 
diate repeal of all orders for their reception, and the said 
barbarians shall be cast forth in disgrace and bambooed. 
The typhoon is not more terrible than the wrath of a 
Chinese repealer. 

We have spoken—obey all—sleep not—tremble at 
this! 

Kiang Fou. 

From the Golden Throne at our Celestial Palace at 
Peking. 


132 


DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 


Gibraltar, August 25th, 1843. 

TO THE HONOURABLE A- P. U-, 

Secretary of State of tlie United States , Washington. 

Sir: —An unforeseen calamity .has occurred, of so 
distressing, terrible, and embarrassing a nature, that I 
have deemed it necessary immediately to send a special 
messenger to you with despatches. The United States 
Steam Frigate Missouri, was yesterday evening entirely 
consumed by fire, whilst lying at anchor in the Bay of 
Gibraltar. 

This magnificent vessel, which has cost the United 
States so much money, and in which you had taken 
such lively interest when Secretary of the Navy, and 
expended so much of the public treasure, with the 
laudable effort to improve her smoke-pipes, is destroyed, 
and sunk in this harbour. 

The Missouri has laid her bones at the feet of the 
Pillars of Hercules. From the top of that ancient monu¬ 
ment, centuries looked down with wonder upon the 
nautical warrior endowed with five hundred centaur 
power. This model of the perfection of modern science 
would have passed triumphantly those classic bounda- 


DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 


133 


nes that had arrested the progress of an ancient demi¬ 
god ; but the element of her strength consumed her, 
and it remains for the Mississippi , to which the Missouri 
is ar^ will be a tributary, to achieve the glorious 
enterprise. * 

Every possible exertion was made by her gallant 
commander to extinguish the flames and save the ship; 
his coolness amidst the scorching flames outrivalled the 
far-famed Chabert,*—but all was unavailing. The fire 
spread with terrible rapidity, and enveloped every thing 
in flames, and smoke. Spar after spar tumbled into the 
sea, and at half past three o’clock, she blew up with an 
explosion that shook the Rock of Gibraltar to its base, 
astounding the inhabitants, and startling from their 
secret recesses numerous apes, those mysterious abori¬ 
ginals of the rock, of whose origin naturalists have been 
disputing for ages. 

One of these creatures, impelled by curiosity or be¬ 
wildered by fear, was caught at the Puerto del Fuego , 
or Gate of Fire, and presented to me by Sir George 
Sartorius. I have sent this curious captive to our revered 
President, with the sincere hope that it will afford him 
some amusement in the absence of his highly gifted son. 

Captain Newton has forwarded a full report of the 


* “ Far-famed Chabert.”—It is reported, with what truth we will not 
pretend to affirm, that this justly celebrated individual, in the presence 
of many respectable witnesses, carried with him into a red-hot oven a 
raw beef steak, and after remaining inside for some five or ten minutes, 
reappeared with the aforesaid steak cooked, with a proper quantity of 
gravy, which the said Chabert coolly devoured to his own peculiar grati¬ 
fication, and no small admiration and astonishment of the spectators. 


134 


DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 


calamity, a copy of which I have seen. The assertion 
therein contained that “ not a single life was lost,” is 
erroneous. As the individual who perished was espe¬ 
cially under my charge and attached to the Eu^assy, 
Captain Newton, in all likelihood, hed no knowleage of 
his existence, and of course could not have been cogni¬ 
zant of the demise of the worthy gentleman whose exit 
from this transitory life was in perfect keeping with his 
character and creed. He was a Millerite, one of the 
fifty philanthropists attached to the Embassy by direction 
of Mr. Webster, “ to ameliorate the condition of the 
Chinese, and awaken those benighted people from the 
slumber into which they had been plunged for so many 
centuries.”* It will be a comfort to his friends in the 
United States, to know that he left this sublunary world 
with much precipitation, yet in the sincere belief of the 
fulfilment of a prophecy for the consummation of which 
he was not only prepared, but, in the estimation of all, 
signally favoured. Amidst the fragments of the ship 
and brands of fire hurled aloft by the final explosion, 
was distinctly visible the body of that worthy disciple of 
the revered Father Miller, ascending with outstretched 
arms sky high. One or two graceful evolutions, heels 
over head, a la Ravel , appeared to accelerate his upward 
progress, in no way detracting from the thrilling sub¬ 
limity of the scene. A pertinacious bomb-shell had 
accompanied that estimable citizen in his upward career, 
and, for reasons best knowrn to the former, exploded, 
and the immortal Millerite was lost to our view. It 


* See instructions to Mr. Cushing, p. 126. 


DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 


135 


will remain with his friends in America to determine 
whether he entered the gates of Paradise at that precise 
moment, or whether he is still continuing his career 
upward, occasionally diversifying his journey by those 
pleasing evolutions before described. 

I can only say, that some few moments after, an 
empty skull plumped into the Bay, as if precipitated 
from a great height, a kind testimonial, bequeathed no 
doubt by that inspired gentleman to less favoured 
mortals here below. 

I have had this precious relic carved into a punch 
bowl, with figures, in alto relievo , emblematical of the 
event, and other appropriate emblems—to be presented 
to our admirable Secretary, with a request that it may 
always be conspicuous upon the glorious anniversary of 
Shell-Pot. 

I must also differ from my excellent friend Captain 
Newton, as to the origin of the fire which occasioned 
this terrible catastrophe; and in so doing, that worthy 
officer will properly appreciate the motive, as it tends 
to exonerate him from all blame, and will cast not a 
little upon the Embassy. At the same time you will 
have the comfortable assurance that the Smoke Pipes 
are in no way accessary to the calamity, though some 
have been malicious enough to attribute the accident 
entirely to those celebrated fumigators. Our present 
able Secretary of the Navy, who “when the wind’s 
southerly knows a hawk from a Henshaw,” will no 
doubt in his report entirely exonerate those poor perse¬ 
cuted pipes from any participation in the matter. 

This mischievous effect, in my opinion, is assignable 


136 


DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 


to that familiar phenomenon called spontaneous com¬ 
bustion. Debates of Congress, files of the Madisonian, 
and the poetical effusions of that gifted son of the Presi¬ 
dent were stowed away in the hold, commingled with 
wooden clocks and hams, tin-carts, and various other 
rare specimens of the fine arts. Amongst these debates, 
there was a vast quantity of inflammable matter in the 
shape of speeches from Southern members of Congress, 
and abolition petitions from the North. Upon the floor 
of Congress, the imponderable elements were disengaged 
in a vapory gaseous form, generating much caloric— 
affording no light, and never passing into a sensible 
state. According to the theory of Lavoisier, which has 
supplanted that of Stahl, there was an entire neutraliza¬ 
tion of opposite electricities, or, as Boerhaave figuratively 
expresses it, no chemical affinity between the separate 
supporters of combustion. 

The solidification of these gases by means of a press 
enforced by the potent and unscrupulous hand of patron¬ 
age, was but a conversion of the elements from one form 
to another, liable at any moment, by contact and other 
superinducing causes, to produce combustion—which 
actually did take place, and burst into a flame upon the 
sudden introduction of a pure and unaccustomed atmo¬ 
sphere. You will perceive by these philosophical con¬ 
siderations, the ground upon which I dissent from the 
turpentine theory of Captain Newton—and I feel myself 
confirmed in the opinion that I have advanced, when I 
reflect that the exposure of an immense glass demijohn 
of inflammable liquid to accidental breakage by a care¬ 
less subordinate, would be utterly incompatible with the 


DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 


137 


fact of discipline so justly asserted by the commanding 
officer. 

I confess that I was fully aware of the combustible 
qualities of these things, having witnessed their effusions 
in a gaseous vapoury state upon the floor of Congress— 
but it was forgotten or overlooked, owing to the great 
attention required by the gentlemen of my Embassy,— 
fifty individuals selected from every known sect in the 
United States. Those gentlemen were wrangling and 
disputing all day and all night. Here, as Boerhaave 
says, “ was the actual phenomena of combination, sug¬ 
gesting aversions between two bodies with no possible 
affinity, chemical or otherwise.” Lavoisier’s separate 
supportei's of combustion , each one ignitable without any 
combination, living, walking, talking peripatetic phlo¬ 
gistons. 

There were but two of the fifty that could converse 
together without coming to open war, and their commu¬ 
nications related solely to the mysteries of trade and the 
science of swap and pledge, in which they were both 
eminently skilful. 

It will be gratifying to the Government and the people 
of the United States, to be assured of the safety of all 
the valuable presents intended for the Emperor of China, 
with the exception of the debates of Congress, files of 
the Madisonian, and all the political pamphlets, out of 
which was rescued the Veto Message of the President, 
it being a constitutional fact incombinable, and like 
asbestos, per se indestructible. 

The full-length portrait of the Secretary of War, was 
preserved with great difficulty. Any thing else but the 
10 


138 


DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 


representation of that distinguished warrior and states¬ 
man, would have been consumed by the devouring ele¬ 
ments; it stood fire like the original, who was never born 
to be burned or drowned, but destined to be otherwise dis¬ 
posed of—upon the walls of the palace of the Emperor 
of China. 

It was particularly admired by the military gentlemen 
of the garrison. They had heard of his warlike deeds, 
and longed for a view of the Chief, and were curious to 
ascertain from what aboriginal tribe he traced his lineage. 
The general impression abroad is that all our great men 
are renowned Indian Chiefs, and Mr. Webster is dis¬ 
tinguished as the “ great Man-dan .” To save myself 
from incessant importunities upon this subject, I directed 

the following label to be attached to Mr.-’s picture, 

which I hope will be gratifying to him: 

“ The Secretary of War of the United States of 
America. The great Kickapoo chief and hero of Shell 
Pot 1” 

I have chartered a small brig upon very favourable 
terms, and hope to realize enough to pay my expenses to 
Alexandria, from whence I shall cross the Isthmus of 
Suez, and hope to reach the frigate Brandywine in 
safety. 

The gentlemen of the Embassy will accompany me, 
with the exception of the twelve temperance lecturers, 
who decline from motives of principle embarking on 
board the Brandywine. They act upon a principle 
which, they say if sound, ought to work well both ways. 
They have taken the pledge not to suffer brandy-wine 
to go into them, e converso they cannot go into the 
Brandywine. 



DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE. 


139 


With the sincere hope, that however you may feel 
distressed at this unlooked-for and dreadful calamity, yet 
your mind will be perfectly relieved as to any agency of 
the Smoke Pipes in the matter. 

I remain, with high consideration and respect, 

Your most obedient servant, &c. 


OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE, 


BETWEEN THE SECRETARY OF STATE OF THE UNITED STATES 
AND HER BRITANNIC MAJESTY’S AMBASSADOR AT WASHING¬ 
TON. 

British Legation, 

Near the United States, Washington. 
To the Honourable the Secretary of State of the United 
States of America . 

Sir: —The undersigned, Envoy Extraordinary and 
Minister Plenipotentiary of her Britannic Majesty, actua¬ 
ted by the deepest solicitude to preserve unimpaired the re¬ 
lations of amity so happily subsisting between the govern¬ 
ments of Great Britain and the United States, and anx¬ 
ious to remove by every just and early explanation, all 
causes of misapprehension which might tend to interrupt 
the harmony so recently consequent upon the mutually 
honourable and satisfactorily adjusting Treaty in relation 
to the North-Eastern Boundary of the American Terri¬ 
tory, begs leave earnestly to request the attention of the 
Secretary of State to a circumstance alike interesting, 
novel and extraordinary, which has transpired within a 
few weeks, and which it is apprehended may be generally 
regarded as of sufficient importance to be misrepresented 
and perverted, and made the means of disproportionate 
excitement and ill-will between the two powers. 

The undersigned has received through the medium of 


OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE. 


141 


the multifarious and unerring columns of various penny 
newspapers, conclusive evidence that, a short time since, 
in the city of Philadelphia, at a place of public notoriety, 
commonly known by the name of the Assembly Build¬ 
ings, in the midst of a vast concourse of persons collected 
under the denomination of a “ Repeal Association,” and 
“ animated by a common feeling of enthusiasm,” a dis¬ 
tinguished orator and poet, bearing the same relation to 
his Excellency the President of the United States of 
America, as his Royal Highness the Prince of Wales, 
now about one year of age, bears to her Majesty the 
Queen of Great Britain and Ireland, and standing in the 
same attitude of importance and responsibility towards 
the people of this vast and powerful republic, as his 
Royal Highness the Prince of Wales stands towards the 
subjects of the British monarchy, made a rash, ardent 
and vehement address, exhorting the people by whom he 
was surrounded to enlist with the Agitator of her Britan¬ 
nic Majesty’s dominions, and actively and liberally to 
furnish the sinews of war to effect the dissolution of the 
union of those dominions, to resist the omnipotence of 
Parliament, to kindle the horrors of a civil war, and to 
overwhelm amid the thunders of their loud, long and 
protracted hoorahs, her Majesty’s ministers, peerage, 
people and person. 

The undersigned feels it due to the Chief Magistrate 
of this confederacy, that he should frankly say that an 
event so striking and singular, derives all its interest and 
hazard from the parental connexion which subsists be¬ 
tween that functionary and the gifted orator and poet. 
The undersigned under any other circumstances would 
regard the matter as the mere effusions of youthful in- 


142 


OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE. 


discretion. But when that youth is the notoriously ac¬ 
knowledged favourite son and penman, and private secre¬ 
tary of his father, the political Chief of this Empire—and 
by a recent highly important State document, (the under¬ 
signed alludes, to your late instructions to Mr. Cushing, 
Envoy to China,) the President not only publicly avows 
that preference, but esteems it a special mark of his fa¬ 
vour towards the Emperor of those Celestial dominions, 
to send his “ beloved son,” with that special ambassador, 
it becomes his imperious duty to make them the subject 
of a formal diplomatic notice. 

The undersigned would further remark that additional 
importance is derived from the fact, that the individual 
by whom it was made was at the time a resident at one 
of the National Arsenals of the United States, and ac¬ 
tually and constantly in intercourse with the national 
armed forces, and living under the national flag, which 
waved over his head as if giving national sanction to 
his language and views. 

The abolition of slavery is a question of deep and ex¬ 
citing interest to the people of the United States, and one 
which the undersigned is free to confess it would be 
highly reprehensible in any distinguished subject of her 
Majesty’s Government to interfere with ; if, therefore, 
His Royal Highness the Prince of Wales, possessing as 
he actually does, the confidence of Her Majesty his 
mother, and the exclusive partialities of her royal breast, 
should make an appeal to the British people of a like in¬ 
flammatory character with that of the equal favourite of 
his Excellency the President, the Government of the 
United States would have just cause of complaint. 

The undersigned will again remark, that these obser- 


OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE. 


143 


vations are made with a view to maintain that harmony 
at present existing between the two nations, and that he 
is impelled by these motives, and an imperious sense of 
duty, to lay the matter before the Executive Government 
of the United States, and he avails himself of this oppor¬ 
tunity to renew his considerations of high respect and 
esteem, (fee. 


Henry George Fox. 


144 


OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE. 


Department of State. 

To His Excellency , the Envoy Extraordinary and Minister 
Plenipotentiary of Her Majesty the Queen of Great 
Britain . 

• 

Sir: —The undersigned, Secretary of State of the 
United States, has the honour to acknowledge the receipt 
of an official communication of the 25th inst., in which 
it is stated, that with a “ deep solicitude to preserve 
unimpaired the relations of amity so happily subsisting 
between the Governments of Great Britain and the 
United States,” the attention of the undersigned is called 
to the occurrence of a circumstance “ alike interesting, 
novel and extraordinary, which has transpired within a 
few weeks,” and, “ which it is apprehended may be the 
means of disproportionate excitement and ill-will between 
the two powers.” 

The undersigned respectfully remarks, that, if he 
rightly understands the concluding paragraphs of that 
communication, the subject matter of which you have 
deemed it “ an imperious duty to make a subject of 
formal diplomatic notice to the Executive of the United 
States,” there are embraced two propositions of a 
distinct and specific nature, yet correlative and depen¬ 
dant upon each other ; the one, indicative and expressive 
of a strong desire to cherish the friendly intercourse now 


OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE. 


145 


subsisting between the two countries; the other, a fear 
that that harmonious intercourse will be interrupted by 
the conduct of the “ favourite son, penman, adviser and 
private and confidential Secretary of the Chief Magis¬ 
trate of this Republic.” 

The undersigned admits to a certain extent, the 
parallel which is drawn between the position of His 
Royal Highness the Prince of Wales, and the distin¬ 
guished son of the President, as to the influence they 
naturally exercise over their respective distinguished 
parents: His Royal Highness having the exclusive 
partialities of His Royal Mother’s breast, and our Bob 
the unqualified control of the mind and actions of his dis¬ 
tinguished father; yet the undersigned will very respect¬ 
fully unequivocally deny the assumption of any further 
similitude between the parties. The truth of this propo¬ 
sition the undersigned deems to be undeniable, and is 
ever ready for a free discussion of that point to the 
exclusion of all others. 

His Excellency, Her Majesty’s Envoy Extraordinary 
and Minister Plenipotentiary is referred to Vattel’s Law 
of Nations, Book III. chap. III. page 460, Dublin edition, 
printed by Luke White, 1777:—“Where two persons 
are disputing on the truth of a proposition, it is impos¬ 
sible that two contrary sentiments should be true at the 
same time.” 

The uncontrolled liberty of speech, coupled with the 
right of insurrection, is the inherent and indefeasible 
right of every citizen of the United States. Granting, by 

way of argument, that Mr. T-r has arrived at years 

of discretion, he has a perfect right to exercise all the 
constitutional privileges of a citizen; he has full liberty 



146 


OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE. 


to make speeches and to write poetry. By the benign 
equality of our laws, however, no one is compelled to 
listen to the one or peruse the other: if it were other¬ 
wise, the undersigned is free to admit, that the inherent 
right of insurrection above referred to would become not 
only a lively but an active sentiment of the people. 

The reverse of all this exists in England from the 
nature of the Government; His Royal Highness, from 
the very dignity of his position, is controlled in his juve¬ 
nility by the laws and customs of the Realm—His Royal 
Highness therefore has a Chancellor to take charge of 
his little Royal conscience, and an Attorney-General 
especially deputed to take charge of his little private 
affairs, and to preserve them from those indiscretions 
incident to his tender age. The right of conscience, 
with the Government of the United States, refers only to 
the right which every man has to set up any form of 
religion he may deem proper, but has never been deemed 
a political principle essential to the administration of 
public affairs, and of late has been entirely banished from 
the consideration of the present Chief Magistrate and his 
Cabinet.* 

These differences and distinctions, therefore, are so 
plain and apparent that the undersigned will respectfully 

* This is a very judicious remark of the Secretary ; certainly, there 
never wa» a “ right, more literally exercised by any people on the face of 
this globe. Every sect and religion that was ever heard of flourishes at 
present in the United States, with the exception of Musslemen , and some 
have affirmed that to be the creed of certain people who cry loudly 
through the streets, at the tail of a cart, in those particular months of the 
year in the spelling of which the letter ‘r’ interposes. They are perse- 
vering, zealous, and sometimes c/amorous. Like the Camerons they cry 
aloud and spare not.!’ 


OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE. 


147 


beg leave to close this branch of the subject, with this 
passing remark, that Her Majesty’s Envoy will unequi¬ 
vocally understand, that nothing is meant in any way to 
disparage the intellectual qualifications of His Royal 
Highness; though scarcely one year of age, and 
B—b in his 25th year, we believe them both to be 
upon a 'par. As yet, this Government has had no 
official communication of any effusions, at least of a 
poetic nature, from His Royal Highness; yet through the 
same “ unerring columns” of which her Majesty’s Envoy 
has been pleased to speak, it has come to our knowledge, 
that the attendants and advisers of His Royal Highness, 
are endeavouring to cultivate such inspirations, by the 
repetition of affecting and touching passages from the 
primitive English bards. 

The undersigned, therefore, actuated by the same 
friendly motives and desires, expressed by her Majesty’s 
Envoy, and thus after denying nothing, conceding 
nothing, and explaining every thing, hopes nothing will 
occur to interrupt that harmonious intercourse now sub¬ 
sisting between the two nations. The fact of Gen. 
J-M-P-, late of Easton and State of Penn¬ 

sylvania, being Secretary of War, which by this time 
must be known even in China, the undersigned appre¬ 
hends is a sufficient guarantee to the United States, of a 
continued peace with all the powers of the earth. 

The undersigned avails himself of this opportunity to 
renew his expressions of high consideration and respect. 

-, Secretary of State. 






148 


OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE. 


British Legation, 

Washington, July 1st, 1843. 

To the Honourable , the Secretary of State of the United 
States. 

Sir : —The undersigned, her Britannic Majesty’s En¬ 
voy Extraordinary and Minister Plenipotentiary near 
the United States, has the honour to acknowledge the 
receipt of a communication from the Secretary of State, 
in reply to one from this Legation of the 25th ultimo. 

The undersigned but for the concluding paragraph of 
that communication, would not consider it necessary to 
continue this correspondence; he deems it, however, his 
imperative duty, very respectfully to demand the mean¬ 
ing of that passage which infers, that “ the fact of G - 

J - M - P -, late of Easton and State of Penn¬ 

sylvania , being Secretary of War , is a sufficient guarantee 
to the United States of a continued peace with all the 
powers of the earth.” 

The undersigned avails himself of this opportunity to 
renew his expressions of high consideration and respect, 
&c. &c. 


H. G. Fox. 




OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE. 


149 


Department of State, 

Washington, July 10th, 1843. 

To His Excellency, the Envoy Extraordinary and Minister 
Plenipotentiary of Her Britannic Majesty. 

Sir :—The undersigned Secretary of State of the 
United States, has the honour to acknowledge the re¬ 
ceipt of your communication of the 1st inst., in reply to 
his of the 28th ult., which was in answer to yours of 
the 25th ultimo. 

The absence of the undersigned from the seat of 
Government, being for some time past engaged upon an 
important public duty relative to the construction of a 
smoke pipe for the United States War Steamer Missouri, 
he hopes will be a sufficient apology for any delay in 
the,acknowledgment of your communication. 

The undersigned avails himself of this opportunity 
to renew his expressions of high consideration and 
respect, &c. 


> Secretary of State. 



150 


OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE. 


Her Britannic Majesty’s Legation, 

Washington, July 12, 1843. 

To the Honourable , the Secretary of State of the United 
States . 

Sir :—The undersigned has the honour to acknowledge 
the receipt of your communication of the 10th inst., in 
which are stated as reasons for any delay in the for¬ 
warding of that paper, your absence from the seat of 
Government, and engagement with a “ smoke pipe” on 
board the United States War Steamer Missouri. 

With a belief that those important duties are now 
satisfactorily concluded, the undersigned begs leave to 
renew his application for a definitive answer as to the 
meaning of the concluding paragraph of your commu¬ 
nication, in reply to one from this Legation of the 25th 

ultimo, referring to the fact that “ G - J - M - 

P -, late of Easton , Pennsylvania , being Secretary of 

War , is a guarantee to the United States of a continued 
peace with all the powers of the earth.” 

The undersigned avails himself of this opportunity 
to renew his expressions of high consideration and 
respect. 


H. G. Fox. 






OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE. 


151 


Department of State, 

Washington, July 17, 1843. 

lo His Excellency , the English Envoy and Minister Pleni¬ 
potentiary of Her Britannic Majesty. 

Sir :—The undersigned, Secretary of State, has the 
honour to acknowledge the receipt of your communica¬ 
tion of the 10th inst., in which you are pleased to remark 
the important public duty relative to the smoke pipe of 
the United States War Steamer Missouri, upon which 
the undersigned was particularly engaged, is now satis¬ 
factorily arranged. 

The undersigned will very respectfully beg leave to 
observe, that from whatsoever source this information 
may have been received, it is not correct; that “ smoke 
pipe” is still an object of interesting embarrassment to 
the Executive. 

The undersigned begs leave to enclose for your 
perusal an official letter received this day from Mr, 

E-tt at London, relative to an insult received by him 

at the University of Oxford, and avails himself of the 
opportunity to renew his expressions of high considera¬ 
tion and respect, &c. 


Secretary of State. 




152 


OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE. 


Her Britannic Majesty’s Legation, 

Washington, July 18th, 1843. 

To the Honourable , the Secretary of State: 

Sir :—The undersigned has the honour to acknow¬ 
ledge the receipt of a communication from the Secretary 
of State of the United States of the 17th inst., by which 
the undersigned is advised that the information received 
by him of a happy termination of the labours of the 
Government of the United States, upon the smoke pipe 
of the War Steamer Missouri, was incorrect; and of 

the inclosure of a letter from Mr. E-tt, the Minister 

of the United States at London, relative to an alleged 
insult to him at the University of Oxford. 

The undersigned has no desire to complicate this cor¬ 
respondence. He begs leave to return Mr. E-tt’s 

letter, that being a matter for the consideration of the 
Archbishop of Canterbury, and her Majesty’s ministers 
at home, and the United States. 

The undersigned has the honour to renew his applica¬ 
tion for an explanation of that paragraph wherein it is 

stated that “ G - J - J\l - P -, late of Easton , 

and State of Pennsylvania; being Secretary of War , is 
a sufficient guarantee to the United States of a continued 
peace with all the powers of the earth.” 








OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE. 


153 


The undersigned can hardly persuade himself that a 
threat is meant to be conveyed in this solemn annuncia¬ 
tion ; yet the military fame of the Secretary of War is 
such as to lead the undersigned to a different and far 
less agreeable conclusion. The glory acquired by Mr. 

P-, at Shell-Pot, and in many bloody Indian wars, 

by which he so deservedly acquired the title of the 
“ Great Kickapoo,” are historical facts within the know¬ 
ledge of the undersigned. Happily the Duke of Wel¬ 
lington yet lives, and the undersigned, by reminding a 
foreign power of that fact, would assuredly be convey¬ 
ing a menace as alarming as that contained in the ex¬ 
ceptionable passage alluded to. 

The undersigned avails himself of this opportunity 
to renew his expressions of high consideration and 
respect, &c. 

H. G. Fox. 


11 



154 


OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE. 


Department of State, 

Washington, July 21st, 1843. 

To His Excellency, Her Britannic Majesty's Envoy Extra¬ 
ordinary and Minister Plenipotentiary, fyc. 

Sir :—The undersigned, Secretary of State, has the 
honour to acknowledge the receipt of an official com¬ 
munication of the 18th inst., with a reiterated demand 
for an explanation of the meaning of the concluding 
paragraph of a letter from this department of the 
25th ult. 

With a sincere desire to maintain that friendly feeling 
existing between the two Governments, so happily con¬ 
summated by his predecessor in office, he readily accedes 
to any proposition which will permanently tend to cherish 
those feelings. But the undersigned cannot conveniently 
understand how this correspondence can be complicated, 
by the attention of Her Majesty’s Envoy being called to 
a subject of such lively interest to the Government, and 
people of the United States, as an insult offered to Mr. 
E-tt, the American Minister at London. 

The undersigned is aware, that the delicate matter 
alluded to is a subject for official communication 
between this Government and Her Majesty’s Ministers, 
and has already given the subject attention. This 



OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE. 


155 


Government declines any official communication with 
the Archbishop of Canterbury. The fact of the youngest 
daughter of our Minister having been presented at Court 
by the Countess of Nothingburg and being graciously 
received by Her Britannic Majesty since the affair at 
the University of Oxford, would lead the undersigned to 
believe that the difficulty has been happily adjusted. 

The undersigned unequivocally denies any intention 
to convey any semblance of a threat to her Majesty’s 

Envoy in that passage of his letter, wherein J- 

M- P- is alluded to as a guarantee to this 

Government for the maintenance of peace with all the 
powers of the earth. 

The civic honours of the Secretary of War are far 
superior in the eyes of this Government, and the people 
of the United States, to the doubtful laurels that adorn 
his brow. Grateful as the people of these United States 
are for the glory achieved by him not only at Shell-Pot, 
but in the Indian wars of ’40, which threatened the 
Capital of the State of Pennsylvania, devastated and 
crippled the resources of that thriving Commonwealth, 
and which were brought to a crisis by his genius and 
the powerful aid of his gallant brother, the Commander- 
in-Chief of the militia of Pennsylvania—matters for the 
historic page, the details of which are well known to the 
people of the United States, and of which her Majesty’s 
Envoy can form but an imperfect idea—yet the confi¬ 
dence reposed in him by the Government and the people 
arises from his civic virtues—the purity of his patriotism 
—his self-denial and incorruptible integrity, and his 
amiable deportment, always the concomitant of true 
bravery. It may not be known to her Majesty’s Envoy 




156 


OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE. 


that he has refrained from challenging the waiter at a 
hotel upon a question of soup, and meekly bore indigni¬ 
ties upon a matter of precedence of a hack. He has 
practised for many years in the Courts of Common 
Pleas of Northampton County with great distinction, and 
would still have remained there had he not, in his own 
emphatic language, been certioraried to Washington by 
the President of the United States. 

With such a man at the head of the War Department, 
with a combination of so many excellent virtues 
tempered by so much amiable discretion and forbear¬ 
ance, Her Majesty’s Envoy will properly appreciate the 
feeling and motive which dictated the expression of that 
paragraph, which the undersigned is free to confess, 
without this satisfactory explanation, would be of equi¬ 
vocal import. 

The undersigned likewise earnestly deprecates any 
complication of this correspondence ; the introduction of 
the name of the Duke of Wellington, wherein a parallel 
is sought to be drawn between the heroes of Shell-Pot 
and Waterloo, will certainly produce that effect which 
Her Majesty’s Envoy and the undersigned had better 
avoid. And he avails himself of this opportunity to 
renew his expressions of high consideration and respect. 

-, Secretary of State. 



LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON, 


A LINEAL DESCENDANT FROM OLD ISAAC WALTON, THE 
ANGLER ; WHOSE PISCATORY EFFUSIONS ARE SO RENOWNED 
IN THE LITERARY WORLD. 


LETTER I. 

Hog Hollow, Tuesday, August 1st, 1843. 

Dear Sir :—Numerous correspondents from various 
watering places are pouring forth their epistolary effu¬ 
sions, each one with unsparing hand lavishing praise 
not only upon the scenery of his particular locale , but 
upon the exalted character of the host, who is described 
as a perfect Mecsenas in all the admirable qualities that 
can adorn human nature, whilst his table is diurnally 
a feast for the gods: the bare recital of the dainties 
would make even the mouth of Apicius water. 

After perusing these various letters for the last fort¬ 
night, and devouring their contents—which so far from 
fattening me has had a contrary effect—I have deter¬ 
mined to quit Hog Hollow, a sweet little rural spot on 
the banks of Rum Creek, where I had domiciliated with 
the intention there to sojourn in exclusive rusticity during 
the hot weather. 



158 


LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 


f pine for a view of the Capes, with its magnificent 
display of five hundred red fiannel shirts dipping under 
the curling wave. I long for a glance at the exquisites 
of Saratoga, or for a view of the Rip-Raps, that American 
St. Helena, where great men seek a temporary relief 
from the cares of state and office-seekers. 

O! that I had never read those eloquent epistles, 
ievdently the spontaneous flow of disinterested feeling. 
I should still be engaged in the peaceful and humble 
rural sports of Hog Hollow—assisting the boys to club 
chickens for supper, or moralizing over the remains of 
decapitated roosters, who but a brief space since were 
struttting about in all the pride of plumage. 

Remorseless Betty ! “ will not one suffice V 9 I have 
been tempted to believe in the doctrine of Metem¬ 
psychosis, and that the spirits of St. Just, Marat and 
Robespierre are infused into that susceptible body. 
But a moment since, O! Chicken! thou wert in all the 
pride of Roostership,—chop—away flies thy head— 
what amazing gyrations! what wonderful pirouettes ! 
and where are you now ? melancholy reflection! 
cheered, however, with the consolatory thought that 
ere nightfall thou wilt be comfortably established in the 
abdomen of a restless reporter. 

Farewell, Rum Creek, and you, gentle decapitating 
Betty, a long farewell. Farewell to those shelving 
banks, where for so many hours I have watched the 
cork of my fishing-line with feverish delight, and the 
small circles diverge from its painted sides as it bubbled 
upon the placid pool. 

Surely I was not deceived—perhaps some migratory 
fly, these Bedouins of the insect tribe, had touched, en 


LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 


159 


passant, the apex of the quill—no, there it is again, a 
palpable bite, I can no longer doubt the fact—it is a nib¬ 
ble,—and what a glorious one! All the energies of my 
mind and body at that moment were concentrated into 
the handle of the rod. I mesmerised the cork ! perhaps 
under that mysterious influence I may have infused my 
will into that heretofore little senseless spherical body ! 
there’s a discovery which may outrival the falling pippin. 

See how it dances—it bobbles under and popples up and 
down—I become delirious with excitement—shall I pull 
up, or hold on a little longer? Shade of Isaac Walton, 
come to the aid of thy disciple! The world of Rum 
Creek becomes animated with a sort of Der Freyschutz 
enchantment! the wood-pecker taps the old oaks with 
such phrensy as to waken the whole forest! the shrill 
cry of the blue-jay becomes a scream ! whilst the solemn 
kingfisher, whose ancient prescriptive piscatory right I 
had invaded, with piercing eye, from his dead twig 
watches the coming event. The cork disappears— 
“ Haul up, Ike, or you’re a lost man”—at that moment, 
a frog, the slimy miscreant, cried— tung! and with out¬ 
stretched arms and legs plunges into the stream ! the 
charm is broken ! high in air fly my heels with hook and 
line, but no finny inhabitant of Rum Creek was attached 
thereto. Disappointed, but not crushed, I disperse some 
myriads of musquitoes—those “ light militia of the lower 
sky,” who have been uttering their war-cries in my 
ear—and renew my efforts with the like excitement and 
success. 

I have been in many a trying scene of peril! I have 
stepped, in all the pride of apparel, upon the side of a 
receding boat, in the presence of a concourse of ladies, 


160 


LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 


with the vain hope bv muscular contraction of keeping 
it to shore, until stretched almost to splitting, like an 
extended compass, I have resigned the conflict and sunk 
in four fathoms, my short coat-tail being the first that 
touched the water ! there is some excitement in that, and 
perhaps some mortification. I have been chased by a 
mad bull down a long lane, with a high fence on either 
side, running with such superhuman speed as made my 
coat-tail project horizontally from my body—there is 
some excitement there too, and a modicum of peril, but 
no wise compared to the excitement of a glorious nibble 
—after ten days’ fishing in Rum Creek without a bite. 

Shooting, the kindred sport to fishing, the relationship 
derived, I suppose, from the amphibious character of the 
former, has, I am free to confess, its excitements, but in 
no wise compared to the latter. I have chased meadow¬ 
larks over an hundred acre field in the month of August 
with doubtful success—I have laid at full length, watch¬ 
ing a chance for a shot at one of those suspicious crea¬ 
tures which appear to be informed, with mathematical 
precision, of the precise distance for safety from the muz¬ 
zle of a gun, whilst every variety of the insect tribe were 
busily devouring and torturing the exposed parts of my 
body—there is a little excitement when the bird lights 
within ten feet of you—when with trembling hand you 
pull the trigger, and are rewarded by an unequivocal 
snap. All these various, and delightful, and intellectual 
amusements, I am about to abandon for a new career of 
pleasure. Upon my arrival at a fashionable resort you 
shall hear from 


Your friend, 


Isaac Walton, Jr. 


LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 


161 


LETTER II. 


Old Point Comfort, August 2d, 1843. 

Dear Sir :—I see you have published my letter dated 
from Hog Hollow , but what awful mistakes your compo¬ 
sitor has made ; do, I beseech you, be a leetle more care¬ 
ful. Now confess the fact, my epistle was slurred over 
because of the place I hailed from ; a fellow that writes 
from such a place as Hog Hollow is nobody. Hog 
Hollow, what a vulgar place! and to write a long chap¬ 
ter about a nibble, “ did you ever!” now if it had come 
from “ Saratoga,” or some such dashing place, do confess, 
my dear Mr. Editor, that you would have treated the 
epistle with more respect. I am now, you see, at Old 
Point Comfort; but why it is so called I cannot tell. I 
have not enjoyed a bit of comfort since I have been here. 
Some aged maiden ladies from Hampton, with whom I 
have conversed, say that in the olden time, when hard 
beset by the British, a temporary comfort was found in 
the Fort here—no doubt that is the origin of the name. 
Some urged me to go to the White Sulphur, some to the 
Red Sulphur, the latter I positively, politely, but peremp¬ 
torily declined—where is the use of anticipating these 
things. 

I wish I was back at Hog Hollow, fishing in Rum 




162 LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 

Creek. I want some excitement—there is none here. I 
came by the usual mode of conveyance, railroad and 
steamboats. A little incident occurred upon the way, 
hardly worth mentioning, nor would I mention it, but 
for the loss of my fishing-rod, which was cruelly muti¬ 
lated by the shock. The two opposite trains, loaded with 
passengers, managed by admirable calculation to meet 
half way, whilst running at the rate each of twenty miles 
an hour. There was a crash, a splintering of bones and 
baggage, and some few women, and children, and helpless 
old people put hor's du combat , but nothing serious, except 
the destruction and delay of the mail, and the ruin of 
my fishing-rod. The conductor behaved with such 
coolness upon the occasion, that the survivors talk of 
presenting him with a piece of plate in testimony of their 
gratitude, &c. I was projected with amazing force the 
whole length of the car, and no doubt would have been 
killed, had it not been for the providential interference of 
a very respectable fat old gentleman’s waistcoat, which 
received my head cushion-wise: it was like firing a 
cannon-shot into a bale of cotton. He was the only one 
injured in our car, how he got hurt I never heard, but he 
complained bitterly of a pain in the epigastric region, 
which was awfully caved in, with a corresponding cur¬ 
vature of the back bone. I feel very grateful to that old 
gentleman, and should like to present him with a piece 
of plate, but it will be a long time, I am afraid, before 
any one will dare to present him with any thing in the 
shape of a plate. In future, when travelling by railroad, 
I intend always to locate myself in “ point-blank range” 
of some fat old gentleman to pitch into. A good many 
others aimed at him, for I heard their heads crack 


LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 


163 


against the partition ail round him, but I was the only 
one that hit the mark. There was a little excitement 
for awhile, for the car was standing up on end, and all 
the people rolled to the bottom like apples in a barrel— 
we were much tangled together; I remonstrated with a 
fellow who was hauling upon my leg, fearing he might 
pull it out by the socket; he however desisted, and very 
handsomely apologized, supposing it to be his own. 

But you should have seen the locomotives; they were 
standing upon their hind legs face to face, hissing and 
fizzing at each other in the most awful manner, with 
bushels of red-hot coals tumbling from their hinder 
parts. The breath was knocked out of one entirely, but 
the other though very much injured still showed fight; 
and I believe, if he could have got upon all fours again 
would have jaunted on in spite of every thing. The 
unfortunate people, whose duty it is to feed the passions 
of those excitable creatures, must have fallen victims 
to their own temerity, for they have not since been 
heard of. 

Before I commence a description of passing events 
here, I will give you a brief detail of my visit to the war 
steamer Missouri, with a view to report the proceedings 
of the Court Martial, commenced on board that ship to 
try the smoke pipes for disobedience of orders. There 
were forty-nine specifications in the charges, but the 
three principal ones, were “disorderly conduct unbe¬ 
coming a smoke pipe, disobedience of orders, and wast¬ 
ing of the public funds.” The general impression is, that 
the defence is a good one, that the general conduct of the 
defendant, anterior to the cutting down, was exemplary 
in every respect, and that all subsequent matter the 


164 


LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 


defendant was in no way responsible for. Experiment 
upon experiment had been tried, but to no purpose,— 
first, the pipes were cut oft’, that would not do,—then 
they were raised up higher than before, that would not 
do,—then they were docked close off to the deck and 
carried through the wheel house, that was decidedly the 
worst experiment that had yet been tried ; the crew 
came up coughing and sneezing with tears in their 
eyes, beseeching a little fresh air to save them from 
suffocation. 

The poor Secretary was perfectly at his wit’s end ; 
here was twenty thousand two hundred and sixty-nine 
dollars, and fifty-four cents, gone, and all for nothing— 
and Mr. Cushing, the Minister to China waiting to start, 
with all his suite crowding on board, under the instruc¬ 
tions that gentleman had received from Mr. Webster, 
which were published in your paper. The presents to 
the Emperor were piled upon deck—boxes of wooden 
hams and nutmegs, miniature specimens of New Eng¬ 
land tin-carts, with loads of tin ware and wooden clocks 
without number. The copy of the bed upon which 
Botts and the President slept, attracted great attention, 
and is really a very beautiful specimen of the fine arts. 
Besides, there were all the gentlemen of the Mission, 
selected from the various sects, to ameliorate the con¬ 
dition of the Chinese. They had thrown the whole 
neighbourhood into confusion, each one practising upon 
the unhappy district, urging most vehemently his own 
peculiar tenets, until with one accord the whole popula¬ 
tion rose upon them, and to prevent bloodshed, they 
were confined to the ship. They were all in high debate 
when I was last on board; I never heard such a racket: 


LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 


165 


the six reporters were busy taking notes,—a fine body 
of youths and full of enthusiasm. 

You may imagine the confusion; with all these evils 
accumulating every moment upon the Secretary, I saw 
him tumble over a huge pile of something. I stepped 
aside, for fear he might pitch into me, as I had done to 
the fat gentleman on board the cars, but he gathered 
himself up, and inquired what the d—1 they were ? 

“ They are soporifics, sir.” 

“ What?” 

“ Soporifics, sir. Debates of Congress, and files of the 
Madisonian.” 

“ O, aye, yes ; I recollect now ! the Opium Question 
—very good; but why don’t you put all these things in 
the hold.” 

“ Can’t sir, till the smoke pipes done, sir.” 

“ What’s this ?” 

“ That, sir.” 

“ Yes, that.” 

“ O ! that’s a picture as large as life, of-, our 

Secretary of War.” 

“Turn it over, let’s look at it—it’s very like; how 
fierce he looks! Is that the dress he wore at Shell-Pot ?” 

“ The very same, sir.” 

“ But what’s that in his left hand ?” 

“ That, sir?” 

“ Yes, that.” 

“ O that’s his smoke pipe ; the Secretary of War has 
a smoke pipe as well as the Secretary of the Navy.” 

The Secretary here said pensively, “ What the d-1 

has he to do with such things ?” 

“ Why, bless your heart, sir, that’s his emblem as the 



166 


LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 


great Kickapoo, a title he acquired in the Indian wars 
of his native State, you know.” 

“ Aye, yes, yes, I recollect now. He has a bold, 
martial air; the man that refused him soup at Provi¬ 
dence, must have been a fool-hardy fellow.” 

“ You know, sir, it is the intention of Mr. Cushing, 
under instructions, to give the Emperor some idea of 
our warlike character—when Elepoo sees that, but he’ll 
tremble.” 

“ I think he’d tremble a little more,” said the Secre¬ 
tary gloomily, “ if he see’d my smoke pipe.” 

Here an officer cried out, “ Boatswain, pipe all hands 
below.” 

“ Aye, aye, sirbut with a horrid grin he remarked, 
“ they had just been all piped up.” 

“ None of your levity, sir,” says the Judge, sharply, 
“ and stop that jabbering forward there.” 

“ Why, Judge,” said the officer deprecatingly, “that’s 
impossible ; it’s the ameliorators.” 

“ The what ?” 

“ The gentlemen to ameliorate the condition of the 
Chinese.” 

Preparations were being made to receive the Presi¬ 
dent, who was about to visit the vessel with all his 
cabinet. Our attention of course was drawn off by the 
imposing spectacle. I took my station near the bow, as 
the most prominent point of view. 

It was a beautiful sight, to see the boats skimming so 
gracefully over the broad Potomac, stretching the long 
glittering oars with clock-like precision and dashing 
aside the spray. There was, however, an unsailor-like 
movement in the crew of the President’s boat, a sort of 


LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 


167 


“ daddy mammy” expression, which somewhat destroyed 
the tout ensemble movement of the cortege . I afterwards 
understood that the crew was composed entirely of 
office-seekers, who had volunteered their services with 
the vain hope of particularly attracting attention ; though 
not very unanimous, yet they pulled vigorously, and but 
for a trifling mishap, would have come in with eclat. 
{Tout ensemble , cortege , eclat , &c., are the fashionable 
words, and very vulgar to use any other.) The heels of 
one of the rowers flew into the air, the oar dropping 
into the water. 

“ That fellow’s caught a crab,” said a sailor standing 
near me. 

“ ('aught a what V 9 

“ Caught a crab, sir. He’s pulled his oar out of the 
pins, turned a complete somerset, and knocked the Secre¬ 
tary of War’s hat off. But here they come, now for the 
salute of twenty-four guns.” 

It was grand and quite exciting. 

“ Starboard, fire !” hiss-s, flash, bang, boom, awar, boo 
loo. 

The smoke rolled out over the water, and then curled 
itself comfortably in a heap as if waiting for the other 
roarers. “ Port, fire”— slap-bang ! went another from 
the other side, the smoke performing the same evolutions, 
with the exception of a fanciful circle which whirled up 
into the air, twirling round like a hoop till it gradually 
dispersed. I was in a perfect ecstasy of excitement, it 
beat Rum Creek. Now I wanted the gun to go off; 
then I held on with breath and hand; just as I pulled my 
thumbs out of my ears slap bang it would come, jarring 
every nerve in my body. It certainly is a very inspiring 


168 


LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 


sound, but it must be awful to have one pointed right at 
you, discharging something more solid than smoke, let 
alone to be rammed down into one to the tune I suppose 
of “ home , sweet home,” as was the French Consul at 
Algiers. 

The President came alongside; “ such a getting up 
stairs.” No sooner had his nose peeped over the gang¬ 
way, but every one vied with the other to bow and 
scrape. After examining the ship, and talking much 
about the smoke pipe with the Secretary, he descended 
into the cabin—where I shall leave him for the present, 
having spun my letter out to an unusual length. 

I have picked up a queer document however, which 
must have dropt from the pocket of some of the great 
functionaries—something about Lord Aberdeen, Mr. 
Everett and the Oxford University. No one would take 
it. I very respectfully presented it to the President, but 
he waived it aside with evident marks of disgust, and 
said “ Go to my son, he attends to all such applications ” 
After I have perused it, I will send it to you to do with 
it as you please. 

Your friend, 

Isaac Walton, Jr. 

Late of Hog Hollow. 


LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 


J 69 


LETTER III. 

Old Point Comfort, August 12, 1843. 

A great many queer things have transpired since I 
last wrote to you, but I am fearful they are hardly worth 
a recital; they want, in my estimation, excitement, 
which seasoning can only be found in my favourite sport, 
fishing. None of your primitive hauls of fish for me; 
no casting of leads, with a dozen hooks attached, to the 
slimy bottom of a great river, cramped up in a wabbling 
boat—sickening for hours over the water, with the 
flickering reflected rays of the sun dancing a hornpipe 
in your eyes. When you do get a bite, it is like shaking 
hands with a catfish, an animal, in my opinion, no wise 
companionable, and perfectly destitute of personal beauty, 
though they have their admirers. But, a secluded rural 
spot, upon the banks of a placid stream, near a little 
tinkling waterfall, just noise enough to make you feel 
drowsy, without putting you to sleep. Gently to twirl 
your hair line into that cool brook that 

“ Purls along the vocal grove,” 

the cork luxuriously reclining upon its side until awaked 
from its slumber by a fascinating little pull at the bait; 

12 


170 


LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 


it then starts up, wide awake, curtseying so prettily and 
gracefully, dimpling the surface of the water, the tiny 
waves circling to the sedgy shore, where you can hear 
the liquid rogues chuckling with delight amongst the 
little round pebbles. 

Occasionally your privacy is intruded upon by a sand- 
snipe, but not rudely ; the prints of his delicate feet are 
scarcely perceptible upon the yellow sandy nook, the 
frame to a bright mirror into which he first looks at 
himself, then playfully at you, gently cries “ peep,”— 
bobs up his little tail, down goes his litte head, and there 
he stands bowing with the air and grace of a dancing- 
master ; such a polite little fellow ;—up goes his tail, 
down goes his head—“peep—how are you?—beg par¬ 
don !”—and away he skims with silver wing, tipping the 
surface of the water. 

O, Rum Creek !—but no matter, let us drop this; I am 
getting “ entusimuzzy” into a sort of arm-chair senti¬ 
mentality. 

But what is this ? the water is getting muddy—some¬ 
thing is coming right down the middle of my creek. 
“ Hallo there, you’ll frighten all the fish !” O, Lord !— 
the next moment I was playing Charles II. from the 
branch of a lofty oak. How I got there, I could never 
divine, because I am a miserable climber; in going down 
I am amazingly happy, having a natural tendency that 
way. It was a great thick-necked, curly-headed, sharp¬ 
horned bull, and the beast with cloven foot strode over 
my rod, smelt the ground and my hat, then curled up 
his nose with malicious grin, no doubt saying to himself, 
“but if I had you here, wouldn’t I treat you to a small 
horn or two”—and there he stood for two long hours, 


LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 


171 


he chewing the “ sweet cud,” and I the “ bitter fancy,” 
and from his sides, 

“ The troublous insects lashes with his tail, 

Returning still”- 

pretending all the while to be unconscious of my pre¬ 
sence. No, no, my Lord Durham or Earl of Oxford, I 
am up to “ slum” as well as “ tree.” At last he retired, 
but methought 

“ With lingering steps and slow.” 

With respectful and silent attention did I watch his 
progress through the bushes,—caught one tender glance 
of his retreating sirloin and whisking tail ere he dis¬ 
appeared from view. Then with an affectionate em¬ 
brace of my rough protector, I scraped down his knotty 
sides in a manner so little remarkable for dexterity and 
grace that my a-plomb was not exactly a-la-Fanny Elssler; 
an indenture in the soft soil was very prettily and accu¬ 
rately delineated, and of such capacity as clearly 
showed what part of my tender frame first touched 
mother earth. 

Such are the excitements incident to my sport, com¬ 
pared to which how flat and insipid the round of life, 
whether mingling as I did on board a war steamer with 
the great functionaries of the land, running a muck be¬ 
tween two furious locomotives, listening to the inspired 
eloquence of the great Kickapoo at Bunker Hill, or 
pitching into the waistcoat of a soft old gentleman, 
whose rotundity a benign providence had interposed be¬ 
tween my cranium and the hard planks of a railroad car. 
I saw that amiable old man here, he is swelling up again, 



172 


LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 


—but slowly; he will ere long again be a respectable 
target, but he is still able to look down through his waist¬ 
coat to his shoe-tie. 

By-the-by, we were cheered with the prospect of re¬ 
ceiving a visit at this place from that gallant chief the 
Secretary of War. Great preparations were made for 
his reception; but he never came. We afterwards 
heard that with that amiable and dignified attention 
which characterizes his private as well as official cha¬ 
racter, he is visiting the different Senators at their re¬ 
spective abodes. There is something so unaffectedly 
condescending in this, so guileless; it is the meed of 
respect which valour and glory in the field pays to in¬ 
tellect. I repeat again, it is quite affecting—and no 
doubt properly appreciated by those grave and reverend 
signiors. What has the hero of Shell-Pot to gain from 
visiting Mr. C-in Delaware, or Mr. 'L-of Mis¬ 

souri, now r happily at Philadelphia! Nothing. To be 
sure, the Senate has the confirmation of his appointment 
as Secretary of War—but that amounts to a moral cer¬ 
tainty—his civic virtues and military glory have secured 
him that. Besides, imagine what a fire from that masked 
battery of forty Democratic newspapers in Pennsylvania. 
Why, the very river Lehigh would overflow its banks 
with indignation. No, I again repeat, it is quite affecting, 
and an incident worth treasuring up. It will hereafter 
without meaning to be rhetorical, with a slight pull upon 
the hair-trigger of reflection, shoot a gleam across the 
historic page. 

Did I tell you that I had seen Mr. C-’s ambas¬ 

sadorial coat ? It is very magnificent, but between us 
there is too much tin foil upon it; the embroidery is so 





LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 


173 


very elaborate, I have not time to describe it to you; 
upon another occasion I may take the opportunity so to 
do. Like the shield of Achilles, it demands an ode in 
Homeric verse. 

I regret that I have been compelled to delay sending 
you the document relative to the correspondence between 
Lord Aberdeen, the Archbishop of Armagh and Canter¬ 
bury, and Mr. E-, but there is a great deal of it in 

Latin, and I have had to employ a corporal of the Fort 
here, who was once a schoolmaster down East, to trans¬ 
late it. Fitz Roy Fitzgubyns, the British Secretary of 
Legation, is here, and quite a lion. He evidently plumes 
himself upon the late controversy with our government 
upon the subject of the exceptionable passage relative to 
the Secretary of War; he is as close as wax upon all 
diplomatic matters, but admits that the reply of the 
Secretary of State was perfectly satisfactory to the 
British government. I regret that he is about to leave us 
He is but temporarily attached to the Legation, being a 
naval officer. He states that he is ordered to a com¬ 
mand on board the Thunderer , one of the largest and 
finest ships in Her Majesty’s service. In case of a colli¬ 
sion between the two countries, it is to be hoped he will 
not be so successful in battle, as in diplomacy. 

In haste, your friend, 

Isaac Walton, Jr. 



174 


LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 


LETTER IV. 

Hog Hollow, near Rum Creek, September 9th, 1843. 

Dear Sir :—I have been so whirled about in railroad 
cars, steamboats and stages, since you last heard from 
me, that I scarcely know whether I stand upon my 
heels or head, and this is called pleasuring. What pos¬ 
sible pleasure people can find in such pursuits, to me is 
utterly inconceivable. Now there is not only intellec¬ 
tual excitement in my fishing, I mean Rum Creek sport, 
but luxurious ease. The body is perfectly quiescent— 
there is no physical annoyance, nothing to disturb 
attention; the mind wanders along the pliant rod, and 
gently descends an inclined plane of hair line to the 
buoyant cork—the “point d'appui” of thought, from 
whence spiritual parties are sent forth to forage upon 
the surrounding districts, teeming with natural beauties; 
—a piscatory throne where fancy reigns in sovereign 
tranquillity, disturbed only by a momentary pull at the 
worm which writhes beneath, now a lure for little fishes, 
but the predestined devourer of both kings and cow¬ 
boys. 

The mental excitement and fascination of the sport is 
explained by the self-evident principles of Rum Creek 


LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 


175 


metaphysics, affording at the same time, perhaps, a solu¬ 
tion of the mysteries of mesmeric influence. 

The soul of the fisherman is wandering up and down 
the rod, from handle to cork, and cork to handle; the 
former being a non-conductor, attention fixes it there; a 
nibble startles it back to the domicile with electrical 
speed, the emotion or thrill increasing or diminishing in 
a ratio with the force of the bite. This satisfactorily 
explains the wonderful patience of the angler, who, 
motionless as a statue, will sit for hours waiting for a 
bite. Hope deferred with him, never maketh the heart 
sick. His spirit is on the cork, from whence radiate 
all sorts of pleasing, dreamy fancies. 

Now compare these quiet enjoyments with a stage- 
ride for instance. My last trip is a fair sample, where 
nothing was left from the tangible reality of the passing 
misery. Hard convex leathery seats, and a strap to 
sharpen up an aching spine, with eighteen legs held in 
joint tenancy by nine sleepy heads, and jammed into a 
rumbling stage-coach ; it is, as one might say, the sub¬ 
limation, the chemical analysis of human misery. In 
the depths of that profound dejection, from some remote 
corner of your paralysed frame, the scintillation of 
relief in the shape of a break-down or an upset, glimmers 
for a moment like a dip candle from the bottom of a 
damp well, and is extinguished. 

To be nodded at all night by a bald pate! How often 
with benevolent hand have I replaced that revolving 
pumpkin upon the shoulders of its owner, with the vain 
hope that some latent energy would revive in the body 
to keep it there. And now see how disgustingly it 
lollops over the strap, the hinges of the jaws give way, 


176 


LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 


exposing the deep recesses of a cavern, the receptacle 
for a breakfast forty miles off. 

Imagine my delight when at the last stage these 
eighteen legs walked off with those nine heads, leaving 
my couple in the undisputed sovereignty of that infinite 
space included in six feet by three. O! won’t I stretch 
out and revel in the joys of a back seat! Infatuated, 
wretched traveller, “ rattling in a stage coach, tavern 
afar off,” little do you know the various powers of the 
machine to disgust, annoy and terrify. 

Under the pleasing influence of ham and eggs, hot 
water tinctured with coffee, and the solemn attention of 
the landlord’s daughter, who kindly inquires whether 
she “ shall milk you or will you milk yourself]” at the 
cry from without of “yer-all-1 read-ee-e,” I step forth 
in all the dignity of the passenger. The door is slammed 
to upon my fingers; my howls for relief are lost in the 
cries of the spectators, of “ hold on, Dan,” “ let go her 
head,” “ two colts, a blind one and a bolter,” “ go it, 
Dan,” “ take care of the quarry at the two mile turn.” 
Relieved from torture at last, by the benign interposi¬ 
tion of the village blacksmith, with swollen fingers and 
blue nails and tearful eyes, I survey the scene without. 

As an evidence of the entire ignorance of the duties 
assigned to them, an excited horse, one of the leaders, 
actually made an attempt to get inside the coach. Then 
the two “ leaders” were standing on their hind legs, 
going through all the evolutions of professional boxers 
with their fore legs, whilst the two others, with roatched 
backs and ears glued to their necks, were scrambling 
and scratching up the earth for some awful purpose as 
yet undeveloped. For reasons not worth mentioning, I 


LETTERS FROJI ISAAC WALTON. 


177 


was about to abandon my position inside for a more 
favourable one without, when my view of the grinning 
faces was suddenly closed by a tremendous jerk, and my 
heels appeared at that aperture where but a moment 
before my anxious and no doubt expressive features had 
protruded. A general hurra from stable boys and loafers, 
announced the fact of a departure. 

It would be in vain to describe that ride; suffice it to 
say that I was knocked about like a pea upon a drum¬ 
head, sometimes against the top, rebounding from a hard 
seat as if struck beneath with a sledge-hammer by a giant 
—now* holding on here and letting go there, with every 
sort of frantic, wild and involuntary evolution. After 
one hour’s work, the vehicle was brought up at the stop¬ 
ping-place with a jerk that literally plastered me against 
the front. All tremulous with rage, I descended from 
the infernal machine—with a vow never to re-enter 
another, and doubtful which of the evils to prefer, a jam 
with nine fat heavy fellows, or the exclusive property of 
the vehicle, with two runaway colts, a blind one, a bolter, 
and a remorseless driver. 

My excursion on the railroad I told you of in one of 
my letters, I forget which, where the two locomotives 
had a set-to—and of my life’s being saved by the pro¬ 
vidential interference of the fat old gentleman’s stomach, 
into which I incontinently pitched my cranium, much to 
my own satisfaction but to the no small discomfort of 
that amiable individual. The excitement there, was 
sufficient for the time, but it was short-lived. Now in 
Mississippi they have the art of keeping it up for hours. 
A street fight admits of some pleasing variety. The 
last one I witnessed at-, deviated a little from the 



178 


LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 


routine of those amiable and interesting exchanges of 
civilities; from its complication partaking somewhat of 
the melo-dramatic, though the denouement of the piece 
was not quite as tragical as might have been anticipated, 
occasioning therefore some discontent and dissatisfac¬ 
tion, yet upon the whole it was not a bad piece. 

There being fourteen on a side armed with bowie 
knives, hatchets and double-barrelled guns, there was a 
pleasing variety in the manner and effects of the tout 
ensemble movement of the parties. The affair com¬ 
menced with a discharge of a load of buck-shot at a 
respectable gentlemen, who for reasons best known to 
himself was precipitately flying round the corner of the 
State House. Upon the receipt of this testimonial, which 
was lodged most unequivocally into a very susceptible 
part of the body, a flying coat-tail favouring the recep¬ 
tion, that individual acknowledged the “ soft impeach¬ 
ment” by some curious grimaces and distortions; if a 
hive of bees had been let loose upon that particular spot, 
it could not have excited more lively emotions. It was 
thought by some that he “ piled the agony” on a little 
too hard, and rolling and writhing about upon the ground, 
was decidedly “ not the thing.” 

The other gentlemen were now actively engaged in 
the performance of their respective duties, interchang¬ 
ing in the most frank, lively manner, shots from pistols, 
thrusts from bowie knives, and blows from hatchets, 
whilst the delighted spectators were running here and 
there to get out of the line of fire, and applauding when 
a good shot was made or blow dealt by their favourite 
champion. 

How long this would have continued it is impossible 


LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 


179 


to say, had not the Chief Justice interfered at the sug¬ 
gestion of some amiable Choctaws, who could not con¬ 
veniently go to court while so many curious things were 
flying about. 

The whole gang were conveyed to the Mayor’s office, 
a small shantee with one large window and door, in 
which was seated that functionary upon a high stool, 
that he might have a more commanding view of the 
litigant parties. The sensibilities of one of the gentle¬ 
men and leader of the late conflict, were completely 
overcome; having had the honour to receive at one 
time a donation from every variety of weapon, he re¬ 
mained upon the field motionless, and apparently “ hors 
de combat ,” but there was a revivifying energy in that 
gentleman’s body which forty hatchets could not knock 
out. He rose therefore, like that respectable personage 
that Hercules threw upon the ground, and who wouldn’t 
stay thrown—an indomitable old maid I should suppose, 
from the familiar appellation of Aunt—Aunt Teus, I 
think she was called—and after deliberately loading 
both barrels of his gun with eighteen buck-shot in each, 
he swore he’d have a crack at the whole covey, and as 
the covey was gathered at that moment round the stool 
of his worship the Mayor, both loads went into the de¬ 
partment of Justice, crashing the panes of glass and 
toppling his Excellency off of his high place with wonder¬ 
ful celerity. The audience rolled out of the door laugh¬ 
ing heartily at the “joke.” No one was hurt, however, 
except his Honour, who from his elevated position re¬ 
ceived one shot through his cheek and two through his 
hat. Upon some one observing to that functionary that 
this infliction might have been spared if he had arrested 


180 


LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 


the parties yesterday, he replied that “Jake never meant 
him any harm ; that if he had been killed, Jake would 
have buried him decently at his own expense.” This 
honourable tribute to the urbanity and friendly feelings 
of the worthy individual who had perforated his cheek 
and hat, was mumbled out between a finger which was 
groping about the interior of his jaws in search of some¬ 
thing that appeared to incommode him. Upon some 
one respectfully inquiring what he was feeling for, 
“ Nothing,” was the reply; “ I was only afeard some of 
Jake’s cursed plums had knocked out a favourite grinder 
of mine.” However, this propensity to shoot a Mayor 
is not confined entirely to the southwest. “ Wo be 
unto ye that sit upon high places,” not only in this in¬ 
stance but in another farther north, the prophecy has 
been verified. To “ draw a bead” upon a Mayor or 
President, is far from unfrequent, and will become quite 
fashionable when the amiable and salutary plea of in¬ 
sanity shall be established upon a firmer basis. 

These are specimens of field sports, but we must look 
at the flood as well as field, and a short excursion of a 
five days’ trip from New Orleans to Louisville, will give 
the traveller a sample of the delights of that kind of 
recreation. He may float in a palace with every luxury 
to gratify the most fastidious taste, and enjoy the society 
of elegant ladies and accomplished gentlemen, or he may 
get on board a “ bully-boat,” and have the peculiar 
gratification of racing day and night with another bully- 
boat, on one of the most awful rivers of the world, where 
every kind of danger imaginable threatens the passenger 
—snags and sawyers beneath the treacherous surface of 
the roaring flood, fire, bursting boilers, collisions with 


LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 


181 


other boats—and even the banks of this stream, when 
quietly moored alongside, sink into the vortex of waters, 
with acres of forests overwhelming every thing within 
its sphere. 

I have been snagged once and on fire twice, but a 
two days’ race with bully-boats combines every sort of 
pleasing excitement. It were well to inform you that a 
bully-boat, means a boat that beats every thing on those 
waters, and performs her trips in an astonishingly short 
space of time. But here they come, the steam at every 
discharge from the blow pipes sounds like cannon—a 
volume of white vapour flying into the air, as if fired 
from a culverin, “ vum — vam—vum — vam ”—there they 
whirl round a short point, called the Devil’s Tooth-comb; 
side by side, they sweep bv a flat boat, dashing the spray 
over its unwieldy sides—those wild neighbours drop the 
pine tree which performs the duty of a rudder from the 
stern, and hurra with delight, with cries of “ Go it,boots!” 
“ Two to one on blue streak !” “ Rosin up, Pike,”— 

“ Beat or burst!” The boats separate, one to take in 
wood upon the left bank, the other upon the right, and 
our deck-passengers rush on shore, and amidst cries of 
“hurra! go ahead !”—“in with it!”—in a few minutes 
fifty cords of split ash and cotton wood are piled on 
either side the boilers—cast oft', away she goes, her oppo¬ 
nent swinging out from her wooding-place at the same 
moment; by a dexterous management of the helm, the 
cut-water of “ blue streak” cleaves into the wheel-house 
of the rival; in a moment her guard, wheel-house, and 
every thing is tearing up from stem to stern; a 
passenger, bed and all, drops astonished out of his state¬ 
room into the water, and floats by unheeded, whilst cries 


182 


LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 


of victory resound from “ blue streak”—and the pilot 
with loud voice, as the rival dashes past the wreck, 
bestows a passing compliment, in which the other party 

is particularly requested to go as a one-sided son of- 

to a certain place not remarkable either for the coolness 
of its temperature or the virtues of its inhabitants. 

Such are the varied pleasures of travelling, pleasing 
and exciting to many who have never enjoyed them as I 
have, and therefore cannot fully appreciate my present 
pure, unmitigated content in the bosom of peaceful Hog 
Hollow. 

Peaceful rural spot, with all thy sweet tranquillity, with 
what infinite pleasure do I review each familiar object, 
and calmly contemplate the tranquil animation of the 
place. Gentle captivating Betty is there busy with her 
milkpail, stooping to her work ; my eyeballs troll upon 
her nine-pin legs peeping below her short linsey-woolsey 
petticoat and chequered apron, her round smiling face 
buried in a sun-bonnet. 

“ Our Jake,” an interesting specimen of the genus 
“ cowboy”—whose clear whistle resounds through the 
forest, clears the bars of the last lingering herd trooping 
to pasture. With meek and placid mien and active tails 
they slowly disappear down the long shady lane; a tail 
or two waves a parting adieu, and they are gone. The 
wide barn door with hawk impaled above, stands “ yawn¬ 
ing for the coming harvest.” The barn-yard is peopled 
with a busy throng. Balanced on one leg, there stands 
the same old rooster, upon the very block where so many 
of his progeny had suffered under the hand of remorse¬ 
less Betty. With upturned eye he watches the hawk 



LETTERS FROM ISAAC WALTON. 


183 


that with steady wing in gigantic circles sweeps the sky, 
and cr-o-o-s a warning to the surrounding group. 

From this busy scene I wander forth, rod in hand, and 
soon am once more engaged in all the delights of 
cherishing a nibble, where you will permit me to rest till 
you hear from me again. 

Your friend, 

Isaac Walton, Jr. 


AN INCIDENT OF THE WAR OF 1812. 


From camp to camp, through the foul womb of night, 

The hum of either army stilly sounds, 

That the fix’d sentinels almost receive 
The secret whispers of each other’s watch : 

Fire answers fire; and through their paly flames 
Each battle sees the other’s number’d face. 

Steed threatens steed, in high and boastful neighs, 

Piercing the night’s dull ear ; and from the tents, 

The armourers, accomplishing the knights, 

With busy hammers closing rivets up, 

Give dreadful note of preparation. 

Shaksfeare. 

After the capture of Fort George in 1813, the British 
forces retired to the head of Lake Ontario, and were 
followed by the troops of the United States under the 
command of Generals Winder and Chandler. The scene 
of the following incident is laid at a place called Stony 
Creek, afterwards famous as a bloody battle-field where, 
for the first time, the British and American troops crossed 
bayonets. 

The American army was bivouacked upon ground 
selected with a view not only for defence, but for an 
attack upon the encampment of the enemy, which 


AN INCIDENT OF THE WAR OF 1812 . 


185 


it was intended should be executed at an hour before 
daybreak. The guards were properly stationed and 
the artillery put in position to defend the approaches to 
the encampment. The gallant Towson was the senior 
captain of artillery, his company was therefore entrusted 
with the defence of the road by which the enemy must 
approach, if an attack should be made; but though 
every precaution was taken, there was little probability 
of such an event occurring, as the enemy had as yet 
scarcely recovered from the confusion incident to a 
precipitate retreat, with the sacrifice of all their artillery, 
baggage and stores. 

The sun had sunk behind a bank of clouds, and the 
landscape was already stained with the dark hues of 
night. The measured tramp of bodies of men taking 
up their positions, was heard at intervals upon the plain, 
with the stern, brief, military commands of the officers, 
and the rattling of arms and accoutrements. 

The busy soldiers round the camp-fires, cooking their 
evening meal, cast moving and gigantic shadows upon 
the tall forest-trees. Through the damp dewy air, from 
a distant outpost could be distinctly heard the sentinel 
challenging the rounds. The hum of many voices gra¬ 
dually subsided ; a general silence reigned throughout the 
encampment, whilst an occasional call from the deep- 
toned bugle was answered by the melancholy notes of 
the whippoorwill from the forest. 

Towson, who had never for one moment left his 
battery, after it had been planted upon the road, but 
having made every preparation for any sudden emer¬ 
gency, was silently pacing in the rear of his pieces, 
13 


186 AN INCIDENT OF THE WAR OF 1812. 

whilst his men were reclining upon the ground. The 
night was dark, and those clouds, which at sunset 
had thickly settled upon the eastern horizon, were now 
spread over the sky and shrouded every thing in gloom; 
not even a star was visible. The night waned fast, 
and the chill damps of the morning began to be felt. 
Suddenly, in the advance of his battery, a bright light 
flashed in the distance, followed immediately by the report 
of a single musket. In a few seconds every man of that 
encampment had sprung to his feet, and the silence gave 
place to the rattling of arms, and the hum of voices, as 
the respective corps assumed their several stations. 
Towson’s cannon were charged with round and grape 
shot, and the matches burning, ready at any moment for 
action. 

“ It’s a false alarm,” said an active blue-eyed, ruddy- 
cheeked youth, whose single gold epaulette, declared 
him a lieutenant. But on the instant he sprang to his 
post with an alacrity which plainly evinced not only his 
readiness for any orders, but delight at the prospect of 
an engagement. 

“ Shall we commence firing, sir?” 

“ Not yet, M’Donough,” replied Towson, “ it may be 
a false alarm ; an enemy who has sacrificed both artil¬ 
lery and baggage to enable him to escape, is not likely 
to become an assailant: at all events time must be 
allowed for the guard to come in, or we shall destroy 
our own men. The words had hardly been uttered 
when a horseman at full speed galloped up to the bat¬ 
tery, nor did he check his career till the breast of the 
animal touched the muzzle of one of the guns. He 


AN INCIDENT OF THE WAR OF 1812. 187 

was enveloped in an overcoat, but, by the light of a 
fire fanned into a blaze by a passing breeze, it was 
evident from his chateau de bras , that he was an offi¬ 
cer, whether British or American, remained doubtful. 
M’Donough rushed to the horse’s head, seized the bridle, 
and, with the point of his sword within an inch of the 
intruder’s breast, demanded his name and purpose. The 
answer, “ a friend,” was given unhesitatingly and prompt¬ 
ly; M’Donough let go his hold of the bridle, and dropped 
the point of his sword—at the same moment the horse 
was wheeled round upon his haunches, the spurs dashed 
into his flanks, and his hoofs were heard clattering 
down the long lane at a reckless speed. 

There was no longer any doubt of the real charac¬ 
ter of the horseman. It was a British officer, leading 
a force to the attack. The column was advancing 
rapidly. Some two hundred paces forward of Tow- 
son’s guns, of whose position the enemy were now 
apprised, there was another lane intQ which their 
column of attack could wheel, if the dashing officer 
who had unexpectedly stumbled upon the battery, should 
reach there in time. He then might attack the flank 
instead of the centre of the American line, as evidently 
was the first intention. Such a movement must be 
fatal to the American force. There was but one way 
to prevent this, and that was the immediate destruction 
of the gallant horseman ere he reached the head of his 
column. The explosion from either piece, fully charged 
as they were with cannister shot, must annihilate horse 
and rider. All these thoughts flashed like lightning 
upon the youthful commander of that battery, upon 
whose vigilance depended the safety of the army and 


189 


AN INCIDENT OF THE WAR OF 1812 . 


honour of his country’s flag. Towson did not hesitate 
to give the order; though his noble heart for a mo¬ 
ment swelled with feelings of pity for the soldier 
whose daring conduct even in the heat of battle would 
command respect from one equally brave. Stern mili¬ 
tary duty conquered the struggling sentiment. The 
lighted matches were applied to the pieces. 

Soldiers are apt to believe in destiny—founded, per¬ 
haps, upon the many miraculous escapes like the one 
we are now recording. There was no explosion from 
either gun. Again and again were the matches applied, 
with repeated cries from Towson to fire. “ They will 
not go off, sir. Something is wrong, sir,” replied M’Do- 
nough, as he seized the match and whirled it round, 
and again applied it to the touch-hole. In an instant 
it occurred to the commander that there might be 
treachery here—and that the guns were spiked. This 
would account for that horseman so fearlessly riding 
up to their very muzzles. The gallant, daring and 
brave soldier, who was always foremost in battle, 
and courted danger in every shape, now trembled at 
the thought of dishonour and disgrace, which inevitably 
must follow 7 . His battery would be carried without 
resistance, and the fate of the army decided. Almost 
paralysed in every limb by these thoughts that crowded 
upon his mind, and arrested for a moment the pulsa¬ 
tions of a heart which beat alone for glory—he rushed 
frantically to the nearest piece, with the hope of un¬ 
spiking at least one of the guns. With trembling hand 
he felt the priming. It was there. The night mists 
had dampened the powder. He flew to a camp fire, 
snatched from the smouldering and scattered heap a 


AN INCIDENT OF THE WAR OF 1812. 


189 


brand, and applied it. An explosion followed, which 
shook the dull air of night, and as piece after piece 
burst forth in flame and smoke, he involuntary waved 
his hat over his head. It was the music he loved, and 
the strains were never heard by that gallant artillery 
officer with more enthusiastic delight. All this occurred 
in the shortest possible time, but the delay was suffi¬ 
cient to enable the hero of the night to regain the head 
of his column unscathed by the iron hail which hurtled 
through that narrow lane. He had changed the direc¬ 
tion of his column of attack, but the rear companies 
suffered terribly under the repeated discharges from 
Towson’s “ light house.” 

It was afterwards understood that the daring officer 
who led the British column and had planned the attack, 
was the assistant Adjutant General of the British forces. 
He is now Major General Sir John Harvey. 


THE END. 


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